Ghost of You

I flinched and sat up, trying to suck in a breath. My eyes began to slowly adjust to the dark room. I felt a cold chill run down my spine. There was someone in the room.

“Hey.”

I jumped, but my legs were twisted in the blankets and pulled me back down again. He moved in a bit closer from the end of the bed, half of his pale face illuminated by the moon. His black hair was pressed down flat. His eyes looked sad.

I shivered and stood up off the bed, tip-toeing to the door and gently pushing it shut. I climbed back up onto the bed, hugging my knees tightly to my chest, pursing my lips. “Are you going to just disappear again?” I whispered, my voice cracking from sleep.

Bill shook his head. “I didn't...” He shook his head again. “I wasn't trying...”

“I just don't understand!” I nearly exploded, pausing to lower my breath and listen. I started again when I was sure no one had heard. “Either you're here or you're not, and most times, you're not. I don't know if you're ignoring me, or if you're on some type of lockdown that some creep ghost put you on, or-”

“I didn't show you that vision, Tom.”

I looked up and stared at Bill. His eyes were squeezed shut as he sat on his knees. “What?” I asked quietly.

“I thought... there was... we were on lockdown. All of us. Heaven, Hell, Fallen Shadows. But somehow, everyone began to escape. And I knew Carnie would...” He took a shaky breath. “I knew what he was up to, Tom, and I didn't like it. I thought if I could get to you first, maybe it would push him away, and he wouldn't be able to tell you anything before the heart trial. But then when Thanatos started dragging everyone back, he showed you the vision, and I knew it was over. I knew you would connect all the pieces and figure it out.” He licked his lips and shook his head, tears swimming in his eyes. “Oh God,” he cried, choking out a sob.

“Shh, hey, it's okay,” I muttered, grabbing him and pulling him down onto the bed with me, keeping him wrapped tightly in my arms. “Just relax,” I muttered into his hair. “Relax.”

After a couple minutes, his sobbing stopped, and we were both quiet. “Bill?” I whispered.

“Hmm?” he muttered faintly into my neck.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I sort of, kinda, still don't get it.”

He sat up and I turned to look at him, propping myself up on my elbow while he rubbed his eyes and shook his head, snuffling.

“I'm a Phantomrider. I just... wander.”

I nodded my head. “I know.”

“Phantomriders can get ghost hearts from Thanatos, which makes them then become Humanoids. Humanoids look like humans, and act like humans. They walk around the planet normally, but can vanish between the real world to Fallen Shadows, and back again. But in order to get a ghost heart, someone must sacrifice a human heart.”

“So... Gordon sacrificed his heart to the Carnie, so he could get a ghost heart and become a Humanoid?”

“No.”

“So...?”

Bill stared at his hands for a second and then sighed, staring up at the ceiling, his black hair falling in his face. “Carnie killed Gordon.”

My jaw fell open and I started at Bill. “Wha-?”

“He killed Carl, too.”

“What? No!” I don't...” I shook my head. None of this made sense.

“Don't you remember, after Carl died? I told you I didn't kill him. That wasn't me that you saw.”

“But...”

“He killed Gordon too. He thought after he was dead, he could sacrifice Gordon's dead heart to get a ghost heart.”

“Why?!”

“He thought he was helping you!”

We were both quiet. I wanted to cry and scream at the same time.

“Why?” I whispered.

“He thought if you understood everything about ghost hearts, then maybe he could help you get one for me. He was trying to do you a kindness.”

“So he went through all this for... why couldn't he have just told me from the start?”

Bill shook his head. “It's not allowed and... look, it's all really confusing. I just...” he sighed.

“Are you done disappearing now?” I whispered, and he looked at me through the hair covering his eyes. He nodded.

“Good,” I said as I crawled back under the covers. I honestly didn't want to talk about any of it anymore. My head was swarming with questions. Bill pulled the comforter up to my shoulders and crawled down to my feet, sitting cross-legged and staring at me.

“I'll be here when you wake up,” he said, and I shut my eyes.


I gasped and arched my back, a pain tearing through my side. I tried to suck in a breath, feeling as if a tornado was running rampant through my lungs.

“Tell me your desires,” a voice whispered.

My words were caught in my throat. I couldn't speak.

“Thanatos,” I finally gasped out, “I want... see... Thanatos.”