Sunshine

“Hi, Frankie,” Gerard says.

He squeals like the kid that he is and leans down to wrap his arms around the younger boy.
“Happy five birthday, Frankie!” Gerard pulls away and looks down at his best friend. Mikey could’ve been his best, but he’s still too young to play with Gerard. So Frank is his best.

“Thank you, Gee,” Frank says shyly. Gerard sees the little spots of red that are appearing on Frank’s cheeks and his smile widens. He knows that he’s the only one who has that affect on Frank and he’s proud of it.
“Soon I can go to school with you,” Frank squeals quietly, but happily, and pulls Gerard back into a tight hug.
Gerard doesn’t get any time to hug back, before Frank squirms his way out from under Gerard and pulls his best friend upstairs to his room. Gerard is too focused on not falling as he stumbles after Frank, to even think about how warm Frank’s hand is in his before they separate.
“Look,” Frank says and shoves his new guitar towards Gerard. It’s very big and heavy compared to the both of them, so when Gerard doesn’t take it, his tired arms give way and let it drop to the floor. The strings sing as they vibrate.
“Oops.” They both laugh softly and sit down on Frank’s bed. Frank puts the guitar on his bed between them and starts strumming. He places his left hand over the strings near the instrument’s head.
As Frank plays a song neither of them have ever heard before, neither of them notice that the wind has picked up and the rain has gotten heavier. And why should they? They’re inside, after all.

“No, not there,” Gerard says quickly, before he grabs Frank’s hand and moves it lower. Frank’s hand slides along the strings, which seem to whine in delight of being touched – just like Gerard feels on the inside when he gets to hold Frank’s hand.
“Here,” Gerard says and lets go of Frank’s warm hand. Frank nods softly while his jaw is hanging open. He strums the strings of his new guitar and both boys bite their outstretched tongues.

“This is hard,” Frank says with a pout. His big, hazel-green eyes look up and meet Gerard’s.
“Do you think I will ever be able to play good?” Gerard smiles at Frank, but when Frank’s eyes get more and more clear until the point where they’re sparkling, Gerard’s smile quickly fades.

“Yes, Frankie,” he answers hurriedly. Frank bites his lip.
“You will be the best,” Gerard says proudly – never once doubting his answer.

“But you will always be better. You are my teacher,” Frank says even prouder.

“You will always be the best, Frankie.”

At dinner, Frank’s parents are talking about something very adult, so Frank and Gerard make sure to be discreet, careful and secretive as they make funny faces at each other. They’re both childishly giggling away, and they almost forget to eat anything at all.
“Boys, stop that and eat,” Frank’s mom says, before she turns back to Frank’s dad and continues their discussion. The boys take a mouthful of pasta each – both getting tomato sauce far up their cheeks, on their chins and even on their noses – before they start making funny faces again.

Gerard makes a funny face, then giggles at the thought of how stupid he must look.

The scary movie is too scary. The witch is too scary for Frank, and Gerard lets the younger boy snuggle into his chest and hide.
“Just tell me when the 7 dwarfs come and save the day,” Frank mumbles into Gerard’s sweater and Gerard giggles silently at the tickling warmth it creates in his chest.

“I will save you, Frankie,” Gerard says and puts an arm around Frank to protect him. Frank looks up at Gerard with wide, frightened eyes.

“Thank you, Gee.” The witch laughs and Frank quickly hides away again. Gerard pulls Frank closer and scowls at the TV.
“I love you.” Frank’s voice is so tiny, but Gerard still hears it.

“I love you too, Frankie.”

When Frank’s dad drives Gerard home through the stormy weather, Gerard is still smiling. Gerard had taught Frank something, and the look on Frank’s face each time he learned a new grip and a new tune made Gerard feel warm all over.
And Gerard had protected Frank. Every time the witch had laughed or the thunder had roared, Frank had whimpered and Gerard had pulled him closer. He feels proud and…older, in a way. He also feels like he could be that way forever – like he could protect Frank forever.
When they pull up in front of Gerard’s house, Frank’s dad immediately pulls his phone out of his pocket and answers it. Gerard has always envied that phone. He wants one so bad – then he’d be able to call Frank all the time.
After the initial ‘hello’, Frank dad frowns deeply and his eyes start to flicker.
“What?” He sounds breathless. Gerard stays in the car, because it would be rude to leave without saying ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’.
“No,” Frank’s dad whispers.

“Gerard?”
Gerard turns around to face his grandmother. She walks over to him and crouches down to his level. He lowers his head to avoid her eyes.
She softly runs her hand down Gerard thin and short arm and takes Gerard small hand in hers.
“I heard you singing.” Gerard pouts for no one but himself. No one can see his little, sad face as he stares down at the patch of grass that’s peeking out from underneath his black shoes.
“Why don’t you sing for me? I could help you improve, and then you could sing for the entire school. Wouldn’t that be fun?” Gerard’s grandmother lowers her head to catch Gerard’s gaze, but Gerard turns his head away.
Then shakes it.

“I only sing for Frankie.” Gerard pulls his hand out of his grandmother’s soft grasp and turns around to, once again, face the tombstone. He stares at the engraved letters and numbers – those tiny, tiny numbers – and waits until his grandmother’s footsteps have faded away completely. He manages to count from one of those tiny numbers to the other three times before the footsteps are gone – using the fingers on his limp, right hand to count.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy, when skies are grey
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away”