Apology Accepted

October 26th
“Mar?” I yelled, “Have you seen my freakin- Oh, never mind!”

I quickly picked up my black flats and shoved them in my purse, not having enough time to pull them on before I ran outside to my car. I yelled a quick good bye before jumping in the front seat of my Honda Civic. I shoved my hand in my pocket, a frown forming on my face as I realized my keys weren’t in my pocket. I sighed loudly and jumped out of the car, barefoot and ran towards the front door.

I pulled open the door and Marsha was standing there with my ring of keys dangling from her index finger. I grinned softly and pulled them from her hand.

“We didn’t buy you a car so you could be late to your job every day Sam.” She muttered with a grin on her face.

“I know! I know!” I yelled, darting out the door.

Once again, I jumped in the front seat of my car, only this time I shoved the keys in the ignition and started it. I quickly pulled my belt over me and drove away from the curb. I turned on the heater and quickly rubbed my hands together, starting to get really getting sick of the cold weather that had been plaguing Boise these last few weeks.

I punched in the radio button and pushed through the songs, coming up on a small bundle of UnderOath songs that were on my mix CD. I took a right down the street and found myself at a stop light.

“Jesus Christ.” I muttered under my breath, never allowed to be on time.

The cars in front of me started moving and I silently thanked God. If I was late one more fucking time, I would no doubt be losing my god damn job. I was already standing on the edge, being pushed once centimeter away from it every day.

I made my way into a parking spot and put my car in park. I flipped open my visor and looked at myself in the mirror. My make up was slightly smeared and my face looked flushed, cold. I licked the tip of my finger and wiped off the extra make up and then I attempted at pulling back my recently dyed and hacked off hair, not being very successful. I rolled my eyes and let it fall down, the rough edges rubbing against the red collar of my work shirt.

I fastened my name tag to the pocket, just under Red Robin scrawled in yellow letters. I smoothed my shirt down and took another glance in the mirror.

“Fuck!” I screeched upon noticing I had forgotten to change from my jeans into black slacks, “Shit shit shit.”

Great, not only was I going to have to listen about how I really need to get my hair fixed, but my pants aren’t the right ones, and I’m tired as fuck.

I really needed Christmas break to come. Full time work and school was way too rough on me.

I pushed open my car door and slipped into my flats, bracing myself for the complaints of my boss. I locked my car behind me and walked to the front door. The first person I saw was Casey.

“Sam!” She hissed, “Why are you wearing jeans?”

“I was at school. I forgot to change.”

“Here.” She said, motioning for me to come behind the podium, “There’s a pair of slacks in the back room. You wait here and I’ll go get them, okay?”

I nodded and stepped behind it, watching as she walked off. I tapped my fingers and continuously looked over my shoulder, looking for any sign of Brandon. Fortunately, I didn’t see him. Casey came rushing back up, the pants clutched in her hand.

“Put these on now! Brandon is right behind us.”

I looked up at her and quickly reached for the button to my jeans.

“Sam!” She shrieked, “Just put them on over your jeans and hurry!”

I shoved my shoe covered feet into the pants and tried pushing them through, but I couldn’t get them on, “Casey!” I mumbled, “ I can’t.”

“Take off your shoes!”

“They’re stuck!” I said, beginning to jump up and down, dragging the jeans towards my hips with my hands.

One foot finally popped through and I was in the process of shoving the other through. My breathing became quick and fast. I knew that if I got caught now, I would be fucked. I leaned back to shove my other foot through and I fell backwards, landing roughly on the ground.

I would have laughed if I hadn’t seen the look on Casey’s face. I quickly followed her gaze and met eyes with Brandon. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, wondering just how stupid I looked laying on the ground with a pair of black slacks pulled up to my knees and my foot stuck in one side of them.

“Get up.” He muttered.

I stood up as quickly as I could. I could feel my face getting hot as I worked my hands around the top of the pants.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He whispered loudly, trying to keep his voice to a minimum.

“I-I forgot..”

“You forgot your work pants, again? Huh? Well guess what Sam. Don’t worry about remembering them anymore.”

My face lit up, “Really?”

“Yeah, really. You’re fired.”

My face fell and I could feel tears stinging at the back of my eyes, “Um Brandon. You can’t fire me, please.”

His face took on a sarcastic glance, knowing he full well could fire me and he would if that’s what he wanted to do. This was his daddy’s restaurant and he was supposed to take care of it.

“Yes, I can. Bye Sam.” He grinned.

“Come on Brandon,” I said beginning to get irritated, “You know I need this money.”

“I know and to be quite honest with you, I don’t care.”

“Brandon, please.”

“Go suck some dick,” He laughed, “Maybe you’ll be better at that.”

“Fuck you!” I spat, “The only reason your manager is because your dad owns this place. I don’t even care that you’re firing me. You asshole!”

“You’re right,” He smiled again, “It’s nice to have real parents. But, you wouldn’t know, eh Sam?”

“Piss off!” I screamed, not caring who heard or saw me, “You’re a worthless little piece of shit and you fucking know it!”

I felt a slight tug at my arm and turned to see Micheal behind me. I shook him off roughly and turned around, “Fuck you all.” I muttered, “I can show my fucking self out.”

I made my way to the door as quickly as I could, the slacks still hanging around my thighs. Once outside, I let the warm tears fall down my face. I kicked my flats off onto the side walk and gripped the top of the pants, pulling them down and throwing them on the ground.

“Fuck!” I cursed, picking up my shoes and walking to my car once again. I unlocked the door and pushed myself in the car. I slammed the door shut, shaking the small car and pressed my head against the steering wheel.

“Fucking asshole. Little fuckin… Moron… Get’s hit by a car… Dick.” I mumbled against the wheel. I looked up at the sky, the sun just starting to set and I bit my lip roughly, not wanting to go home and face Marilyn and Marsha after losing the job they practically got for me.

I kicked the floor of the car they bought for me, under the condition that I stopped smoking.

Times like these I could really use a smoke.

My eyes looked towards the Jackson’s that was on the corner and I shook the thought out of my mind, not wanting to break my two month streak of keeping nicotine away from my mouth.

But hey.. I could go and get something to drink. I was still allowed to do that.

So, I started my car and drove across the street and parked. Having a license sure did make a lazy person out of me. I pulled my flats back on and grabbed my wallet, locking my car. I pushed the door open to the Jackson’s, hearing the bell jingle.

The clerk’s back was to me, fumbling with what I had guessed to be his cell phone. I pulled open the door to one of the coolers and pulled out a bottled Pepsi, catching a quick glimpse of myself in the window. I hadn’t even bothered to clean up the mess my tears had made of my make up. I quickly rubbed my eyes and closed the door, walking up to the counter. I cleared my throat softly, waiting for the clerk to turn around.

I glanced up and saw all the packages of cigarettes resting on the shelf and I bit my lip, really wishing this guy would hurry the fuck up before I stole a pack and ran out the door.

As if on cue, the boy turned around. He looked a lot younger now. His black hair fell across his eyes and he had a Monroe piercing on the left side of his face.

“Oi ‘ello.” He grinned with a small wave.

My voice stuck to my throat and I froze on the spot, the Pepsi still gripped in my hand. I hadn’t heard anyone talk with an accent ever since…

“’Ello?” He asked again.

I snapped out of my sudden daze and flicked my head towards the cigarette stack. I felt horrible for breaking my promise to Marilyn and Marsha, but I just couldn’t do it. It was too hard on me.

“Ligh’s, Red’s, Filter’s?” He asked, every syllable perfectly in sync. He even grinned like…

“Um, how about the Wides?” I asked, reaching for my wallet and pulling out a ten dollar bill. I watched as my hand shook, holding the ten towards him.

“ID?”

I shoved my ID towards him and wrapped my hand around the smokes and the Pepsi. I grabbed a lighter and threw it on the counter.

He picked it up suspiciously and scanned it. He then hit the register button and stuck my money in the spaces.

“Woul’ yeh like yeh’re change?”

I shook my head quickly and grabbed my belongings.

“’Ey, wait a sec.” He said, pulling a piece of paper from next to the register, “We could really use some extra staff ’ere. Yeh need a job?”

I nodded and grabbed the paper from him, shuffling out of the store as fast as I possibly could. I walked around the other side of the building, refusing to smoke in my car.

I sat down on the sidewalk and pulled my feet close to me. I set the Pepsi down on top of the job application I was just given and ripped open my cigarettes. I looked at the top of the smokes and mumbled to myself, about forgetting to pack them.

“Like it matters anyway,” I sighed shoving one in my mouth, “I never did it right to begin with.”

I tried ignoring the thoughts dashing in and out of my head, but it wasn’t much use. It didn’t take much for my mind to start reeling and memories to start flooding back. I couldn’t help but wonder where the hell that kid had come from.

Was he related to him?

Was that his brother?

Why the fuck would he be back?

Then again, what the hell am I thinking? People come to the States all the time and just because someone I used to know had the same accent, that doesn’t mean this kid knows him too.

Good ol’ Sam, still over thinking everything and freaking out. I never was too slow to jump to a conclusion.

I laughed quietly to myself, finding it a coincidence that the day I happen to lose my job, he also manages to jump to mind.

I lit the cigarette and blew out, the familiar smell drifting back into my nose.

Along with familiar and unwelcome thoughts.