Apology Accepted

I woke up to Matt standing over the stove, a loud sizzling sound paired with the occasional pop. I sat up on the couch and rubbed my eyes, sighing loudly.

“Good lord Matt. What time is it?”

“About time for yeh’re lazy arse teh be gettin’ up.” He turned around, grinning, “Come eat.”

I pushed my blanket to the other side of the couch and placed my feet on the floor. I stood up and walked over to the counter, taking a seat on one of the stools. Matt came walking towards me with two plates, covered in peppers of every color and two chocolate muffins. He set both the plates down and then walked around the counter, taking a seat next to me. He picked up a couple of peppers and started chomping on them. I reached forward and pulled the wrapper off my muffin, proceeding to take a big bite from it.

“So,” Matt said, swallowing, “’Ow was yer date last night? The two of yeh seemed a bit tense when yeh came back.”

I nodded, “Yeah. I don’t know. I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that I’m actually here in Sheffield, and I’m talking to Oliver.”

“I talked to ‘im after yeh went teh sleep last night and ‘e said yeh got all emotional on ‘im.”

I felt my face go red, and I stopped chewing long enough to swallow, “Well, we saw Audri at the coffee shop, you know Tom’s girl friend? And they were talking about Tom, and Oli just seemed really upset about it, so later, I asked him what the deal was with that and he told me what happened. And it’s pretty much all my fault. So then I felt bad,” I paused, “And when I feel bad, I cry.”

Matt nodded, ‘Well yeh just ‘ave teh deal with Tom differently. ‘Es a bit of an arse sometimes.”

“I just don’t understand why he hates Oliver and I so much,” I paused, “I mean, I understand why he would have a reason to hate me, but not Oli. That’s his brother for Christ’s sake. If I had a brother, I wouldn’t treat him like that.”

“Tom and Oliver ‘ave always been real close, and with all this recent shit goin’ on-”

I cut him off, “Recent as in?”

“Recent as in since Olleh left fer the states. Tom went nuts without ‘im ‘ere. We all did. An’ I think when ‘e came back, an’ didn’ want shit teh do with Tom, ‘cause ‘e was so upset about losin’ yeh , it killed ‘im.” Matt stopped, ate a few more peppers and continued, “So Tom finally got Olleh back, an’ if that meant Olleh was drunk out ‘is arse all the damn time, then oh well. An’ it was good fer Tom fer a while.”

“Then I came back.” I said.

He nodded again, “Then yeh came back, an’ that’s why I wanted yeh ‘ere so bad. Yeh’ve got this thing about yeh that makes Olleh want teh be a better person. An’ after ‘e realized ‘ow ‘orrible ‘e’d been teh yeh, ‘e wanted teh change again. An’ so Tom’s lost Ols teh yeh again, an’ ’m guessin’ ’e feels abandoned by ’is older brother. So, not only does ’e blame yeh, but ’e blames Olleh as well. So now ’e’s just bitter an’ pissed off.”

“Great.” I mumbled, through a mouth of muffin, “Just make me feel worse. Not only did I ruin Oli’s life, but I stole him away from his little brother.”

Matt grinned, peeling the paper off his muffin, “Like I said, yeh make Olleh want teh be a better person.”

I looked at Matt, confused, “That’s what got us in this mess in the first place you moron.”

“Yeah, but it can work both ways, moron.”

“What are you saying?”

“Jesus Sam,” He laughed, “Are yeh daft? ‘M sayin’ all yeh gotta do is talk Olleh into talkin’ teh Tom.”

“But Audri just told Oli yesterday at the coffee shop that Tom needed time.”

“It’s been long enough. Oli ‘as tried, but not as ‘ard ‘as ‘e should be.”

“You want me to tell Oli to talk to Tom?” I asked.

He nodded; just like it was the easiest fucking thing in the world.

“About what?”

“What I just told yeh.”

“About Tom feeling abandoned and all that?”

Matt nodded, yet again, then picked up his phone, pressed a few keys and then looked up at me, “Go get dressed. Olleh’s comin’ over an’ ‘es expectin’ teh talk teh yeh about somethin’ important.”

“Matt!” I whined.

“Go shower. Prepare your argument.” He smiled, “Be gone with yeh. Yeh wouldn’t want teh disappoint Ols, would yeh?”

I merely rolled my eyes, jumped off my stool and headed for the bathroom.

---------------------

I opened up my phone and clicked on the unread message in my inbox.

Get your arse over here. Sam has something to tell you. It’s IMPORTANT!

Funny, I texted back, I have something important to tell her too. I’ll be over soon.

I jumped off the couch and pulled on my shoes, headed for the door.

“Oi, Olleh, where yeh goin’?” My dad asked.

“’M goin’ teh Matt’s.”

My mum looked up, “Don’t forget dinner tomorrow.” She said, regretfully.

She knew I was going to invite Sam, because it wasn’t fair that Tom got to invite Audri if I didn’t get to invite Sam. Yeah, I was being rather childish, but I don’t care. Because I know that once Tom and my mum meet Sam, they aren’t going to find a damn thing wrong with her.

“I won’t mum.”

“Did yeh talk teh Audri yet, Doll?” My mum was asking Tom sweetly as I closed the front door and made my way to the car.

I got in and started the car, driving the short distance to Matt’s flat. I stepped out and rapped lightly on the door. Matt opened it and I let myself in, just as Sam was coming out of the bathroom. She had on a pair of jeans and a tank top with lace trimming the top of it. Her hair was till wet, sending droplets of water cascading down her chest. Her eyes were make up free and she grinned softly as I looked in her direction. An embarrassed blush came over her cheeks and she looked down at the ground.

“Right well,” Matt smiled, “’M goin’ out teh meet with Lee. I’ll be back in a while.”

And he grabbed his keys and coat, going through the door, outside. Leaving me and Sam alone in his apartment. I felt the tension in the room quickly rise, above my head, and it was so thick, I almost felt suffocated by it. I immediately felt so lame, and wondered when the hell the tension would cease and I could be in a room with Sam without feeling uncomfortable, like I used to.

I mean, it’s not like we didn’t know each other at all, we’d met before, we’d hung out before, Hell, we’d made out before. And now, we just stand around with our hands shoved in our pockets, whistling in the other direction like we don’t know shit about anything.

It’s fucking ridiculous.

I unzipped my jacket, just to make noise and tossed it on the couch. I looked over at Sam, who was now pretending to look out the window if it meant she could avoid conversation.

“All right?” I asked.

“Huh?” She questioned, turning towards me.

“’ow are yeh?” I asked again, “All right?”

“Yeah,” She nodded, “I’m fine.”

“Right,” I said, rubbing my hands together, “What did yeh need meh ‘ere for?”

She walked across the room and sat down at the counter, patting the stool next to her. I sat down and turned my body so that I was met with her gorgeous blue eyes. If I could have prepared myself for what she said next, I may have been looking at something else, because not only was I mesmerized by her eyes, but I was also caught off guard by her words. It was completely unfair, and an attack. That’s how I see it anyways…

“I want you to try talking to Tom.” She stated blatantly.

I blinked and looked at her face, “What? Why?”

“’Cause. The two of you are brothers and it’s not right for you the two of you not to be talking.”

“Did Matt put yeh up teh this?” I asked, getting rather irritated with Matt.

He was my best friend, but it bothered me how he always had to try and make my life better for me, running around and fixing things that didn’t need to be fixed, or things that I didn’t want to fix.

“No,” She said quickly, “I mentioned something about it last night too. But you didn’t seem too interested.”

“Sam,” I spoke slowly, trying not to blow up in her face for being so naïve, “Tom’s said nothin’ but rude things about yeh. ‘E ‘ates yer guts, as well as mine, an’ yeh’re tryin’ teh make us start talkin’ again?”

“Yep.”

“Why? What’s Tom ever done fer yeh?”

“Nothing. But you’ve done more than enough for me, and I know it hurts you not to be on good terms with your brother, and don’t even try telling me it doesn’t.” She paused, “So I think it would be good for both of you if you started talking again. Or at least tried to. And, if it doesn’t work Oli, at least you tried.”

“Sam.” I sighed.

“Hush. Just put yourself in Toms’ shoes, okay? He looks up to you, his big brother-”

I interrupted, “Yeh sound like meh mum.”

“Shut up, for like one second. Just let me finish. You leave to the States, and he misses the crap out of you. You come back, heartbroken, and wanting nothing to do with him-”

“I didn’ want anythin’ teh do with anyone!” I yelled.

“Fuck Oli! Would you just shut the fuck up?” She hollered, “Seriously. Let me fucking finish, alright?”

I looked at her, her face angry, her eyes sad, and she was just trying to get me to listen, so I said, “Okay.”

“So anyways, he felt abandoned. Whether or not you didn’t want to talk to anyone, it bothered Tom particularly, ‘cause he’s your little brother. He finally gets you to start talking to him again. Even if you’re hammered the whole time; he doesn’t care. You’re acknowledging him again and that’s all that matters. Then, I come back in the picture and he loses you again. Do you see where I’m coming from?” She asked, “Or more so, where Tom’s coming from?”

“Sam. ‘e’s done everythin’ teh make meh life ‘ell.” I began, “’E made meh forget you. ‘E ‘ad meh drinkin’ all the time, ‘e didn’t care if I was sick as long as ‘e ‘ad meh alive. ‘e was bein’ selfish. Not to mention, e’s ‘orrid about yeh. Always arugin’ with meh about yeh, tellin’ meh I could do better. It’s awful Sam.”

“Are you done?” She snapped.

“Yeah,” I snarled, standing up, “I am fuckin’ done. Piss on all of yeh!”

“Oli.” She said calmly, “Don’t be like that.”

“Like what Sam?”

“Like how you’re being. I just want you to be happy. I want your life to be normal again. I want it to be like it was before I fucked it all up.”

“’M ‘appeh Sam. ‘M fine.”

“You don’t seem happy to me.” She argued.

“I am.” I paused, “’M ‘appeh. I ain’t drunk all the time, ‘m ‘appeh yeh’re ‘ere Sam. I ‘onestly am.”

“I believe you Oli. But I would really like it if you would just please try talking to Tom. If not for you or Tom, for me. I feel like I’ve ruined everything and it would really make me feel better if you had a word with him.”

I groaned loudly, running my hands through my hair.

“I’m serious Oli.”

“I know yeh are.”

“How are we supposed to have a friendship, much less a relationship if your family doesn’t even like me?”

“It’s only Tom.” I mumbled, lying.

“Well, I highly doubt your parents are going to like me much when they find out I’m ‘the’ Sam,” She said, using air quotes, “You know, the one that ruined your god damn life? I’m pretty sure they didn’t like seeing you drunk out of your mind all the time, and there’s no way in hell they’re okay with you and Tom not talking.”

I bit my lip, somewhat stunned, knowing whatever I said next wouldn’t matter. Sam was right. I had to practically beg my mum to let Sam over for dinner, and even still, she wasn’t sure about it.

My dad is sick of Tom and I fighting. And even though he has nothing against Sam, not even he wants Sam, Tom, and I all in one room together.

“Alright.” I said quietly, “I’ll talk to him.”

“Yes!”

Sam jumped up in the air and wrapped her arms around my neck, sending me flying into the wall behind the stools. An embarrassed smile fell over her face and she pulled away before I managed to plant one on her.

“Sorry.” She mumbled.

“It’s alright, Love.” I grinned, rubbing my head and sitting up.

She smiled softly, hiding her face behind her hair.

“But,” I said, “I ‘ave one condition.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll talk to Tom, but yeh ‘ave teh do somethin’ fer meh.”

“Okay..” She said, unsurely.

“Do yeh promise?”

“Oli, that’s not fair. I don’t even know what you’re going to ask me.”

“What could I ask you that’s so ‘orrible?”

“I don’t know..”

“Well, just promise, alright? It ain’t bad.”

“Okay. I promise.”

“Gimme a ‘ug.” I smiled, holding my arms out.

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her head in my shoulder. I smiled against her hair, “See it ain’t that bad.”

“Yeah.” She said, trying to pull away.

I held her closer, “Wait, ‘m not done. There’s another part to the promise.” I paused, “Yeh ‘ave teh come teh dinner at meh ‘ouse tomorrow.” I said as quickly as I could.

She pulled away, looking at me with a scared expression on her face, “What?”

“Yeh ‘eard meh.”

“Don’t you think you should talk to Tom first? I mean really Oli.”

“’Ve got all night an’ all day tomorrow Sam. ‘M sure I can get it done.”

She looked down at her feet, not saying anything. I squeezed her side lightly, “Please Sammeh. It’d really mean a lot.”

She looked at me, smiled uneasily and said, “Okay.”

She was only inches away from my face, if that. I wanted to lean in and kiss her, but instead, I stood there with her leaning towards me. I wanted to punch myself in the nuts repeatedly, I felt so lame. Just standing there.

It was completely ridiculous that I couldn’t even kiss the damn bird. I mean, I had no problem kissing anyone else. But, when I was around Sam, I lost all confidence. I wanted to be important, I wanted to be what she wanted, and I couldn’t just take what she didn’t want to give me. Not that I think she doesn’t want to kiss me, I just don’t want to make a complete arse out of myself.

Which is exactly what I’m doing by not kissing her. I’m such a twat.