Apology Accepted

I sat down on my bed, flipping the TV on and pressing play on my DVD remote as Sam sat at the end of my mattress, her mouth seeming incapable of speaking. Which didn’t bother me too much, because my head swirling with pissed off thoughts, wondering why in the hell she deemed it necessary to defend everyone who just made it a point to be completely offensive to her.

I stared at the back of her head, her dark hair barely hitting her shoulders and I just couldn’t understand why she would let Tom treat her so horribly. Then she told him that she understood and that it was okay and that he just needed time. Bullshit.

What Tom needed was a kick in the arse, and I’d hoped that Sam would be the one to deliver that one, seeing as how no one else really had much of an effect on the little prat. But, Sam had once again, had all the strategy and managed to slink back in her seat and not deliver.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp jab of pain in my knee as Sam ripped a hair out of my leg.

“Ouch!” I yelped, rubbing my knee, “What the ‘ell was that for?”

She shrugged, her back still to me, “It’s in the past. It doesn’t matter.”

I rolled my eyes, not caring that she couldn’t see me, “Oh alright. Yeh’re real mature.”

Sam turned around, facing me, her blue eyes hidden beneath her eye lashes, “Jesus Christ. Loosen up, alright? The world’s not falling down, you know.”

“Did I say it was?”

“You’re sure as hell acting like it. Quit being such a baby about all of this.”

“Tom’s the one that’s bein’ a goddamn baby!” I yelled, “An’ everyone just acts like it’s okay. Poor Tommeh, Olleh’s a piece of shit brother, ‘e deserves it.”

“Oli. Stop it.”

“Yeh know, I wouldn’t care if Tom was sayin’ all that about meh, but ‘es buggin’ yeh now, ‘es sayin’ shit about yeh, an’ that’s what I ‘ave a problem with!”

Sam leaned forward and turned her body completely around so that she was sitting criss cross next to my hips. She placed a hand on my thigh and smiled warmly, “Oli. I don’t care, so why should you?”

“’Cause. I don’t like it when people say stuff like that ‘bout people I care about. Especially yeh.”

“So, if I was saying things like that about Tom, you’d be mad at me, huh?”

“No.”

She rolled her eyes, “If I was Tom right now and Tom was me, would you be angry with me Oli?”

I shook my head slowly, “Yeah, I guess so, but yeh wouldn’t do that.”

“Doesn’t matter. Sometimes people do things that you don’t understand. Sometimes they do things I don’t understand. No one is supposed to understand every little thing. This is one of those things that I understand and you don’t. Tom will get it. He’ll realize that he needs to change. You just have to let him figure it out on his own.”

“’M just sick of ‘im actin’ like ‘e is.”

“Well, I haven’t been around it for too long just yet,” She smiled, “But you’ll know once I get sick of it.”

I smiled back at her, “Alright.”

“So!” She grinned like a little kid, tracing her hand from my thigh towards my stomach, “I have a question.”

“An’ what’s that?”

“I’m really curious about this. And I think that’s it’s a vital importance to our relationship. No matter how unimportant you think it is, it’s important to me, which should make it important to you, therefore it’s important to both of us, which makes it-”

“Get on with it Sam.”

“Right.” She paused, tapping my stomach three times before saying, “I wanna know how many girls you were with.”

“Sam,” I groaned, reaching for her hand, which she pulled back and then proceeded to look at me with her big eyes, curiosity dancing behind them, “Do yeh really wanna know that?”

“Would I have asked you if I didn’t?”

“I dunno, I guess not.”

“So, tell me.”

“Well, do yeh wanna know ‘ow many girls I was with with? Or just with?” I asked, knowing that either way, I’d have to tell her how many girls I’d slept with.

“How many girls you fucked Oli.” She said bluntly, a shocked expression immediately taking over her face as a small laugh escaped from my mouth.

Then I realized I had to answer the question, and my smile quickly faltered.

“Teh be completely ‘onest with yeh Sam, I have no idea.”

“Oh come on! You couldn’t have been that drunk.”

“Actually, I was.”

“Well, do you think over ten? Over twenty?” She probed, using her hands to talk.

I nodded, wondering just how embarrassed I looked at the moment, “It was quite a lot.”

Sam whistled through her teeth, her hands dropping in her lap, “Wow.”

“What about yeh?”

“Me?”

“Yeah yeh. ‘oo else?”

“None.”

“Bullshit!” I grinned, tapping her knee, “Yeh’re lyin’.”

“I’m dead serious Oli. I probably haven’t even had sex in like a year. The last time I did anything was with you.”

I watched as her face fell and her hands relaxed again in her lap. Her lashes made a shadow underneath her eyes and her bangs fell in her face as she quickly quieted and didn’t made an effort to say much else.

“’M sorreh.” I spoke quietly.

She looked at me, tears barely in her eyes as she leaned towards me. I held my arms out for her to lean against, but she landed on my chest with a thud, her head turned towards my bedroom door. I placed a hand on the side of her face and ran my fingers through her hair, reaching towards her hand with my other hand. Our fingers met and intertwined and I squeezed her small hand against mine.

“Were you mad when I didn’t come?” She asked, her voice muffled by her cheek rested right against my chest, “I mean did you hate me?”

I shook my head, “No. I didn’t ‘ate yeh. I was real upset. Didn’t know what the fuck teh do with mehself. I wanted teh call yeh er somethin’, but yeh made it clear yeh didn’t want a thing teh do with meh.”

“Like you didn’t?”

“What do yeh mean?”

“Leaving without telling me was pretty much like telling me to fuck off.” She paused, “Actually. I would have rather you just told me to fuck off.”

I grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, letting the black of the room enclose both of us. Sam pressed her body against mine now, her breathing becoming softer and softer.

“Fuck off Sam.”

She laughed quietly, “Oli. You’re such an asshole.”

I got my hand caught in a knot in her hair and managed to pull it free, “Yeah, but ‘m cute. So ‘s alright.”

Sam resituated herself so that her head was rested on my stomach and she was lying diagonally on my bed, staring straight up at the ceiling. She still clutched my hand in her’s, and I moved my other hand so that it rested next to her on the bed.

“So what does all of this mean?” She said quietly.

“All of what, Doll?”

“I’m here. In Sheffield. With you. What now?”

“I dunno,” I said, running my hand down the length of her torso, “Can I tell yeh somethin’?”

“Nope.” She said.

I watched her cheeks stretch into a soft grin at the amusement of her own little joke. The light from outside spilled onto her face, making her look so inviting. Her eyes were closed and her mouth stretched into a smile, her hands folded at her waist, one of mine tucked into her’s, and her legs folded crudely, her sock covered feet dangling off my bed.

“Well, ‘m doin’ it anyway,” I paused.

My chest started pounding and I felt my hands start to instantly sweat as I tried to piece together what I was about to say, knowing saying it wasn’t going to be hard, but waiting for Sam’s response was going to be.

“Oli?”

“I love yeh Sam.”

My breath hitched in my throat as I said it. I felt my head start to pound with nervousness. I wasn’t so much nervous at the fact that I’d just told Sam that I loved her, but more so nervous at the fact that she may not be as keen on the subject, after what we’d gone through.

Her eyes fluttered open and her grin turned into a full out smile, “I love you too Oli.”

She yawned loudly, moving herself once more so she was laying beside me with her head on my chest. She pulled the blankets up over the both of us and rested her head softly on me. She reached for my hand again and wrapped her fingers against mine, snuggling up close to me.

After about five minutes, the practical side of me caught on and I said quietly, “Do yeh want some pajamas?”

Sam merely shook her head, “No.”

“Aren’t yeh gonna get cold?”

“Nope.”

Five more minutes.

“’Ow long do yeh think yeh’re gonna stay?”

“As long as you want me to.” She mumbled tiredly, shifting a little bit under the covers, throwing one of her legs over mine.

“Don’t yeh ‘ave school?”

“Oli.” She groaned, “Shut the fuck up. Go to sleep.”

A laugh caught in my throat as I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. I pulled my hand from her’s and wrapped it around her back, looping my finger in the belt loop of her jeans and tapping my finger against her hip. She instantly reached down and placed a hand over mine, silently telling me to knock it off.

Another smile came to my lips and was quickly brushed away at the thought of how happy I was with Sam. It was almost annoying to think of myself as some kind of love sick teenager that just couldn’t stay away from his girlfriend. Because, that’s what I’d turned into lately. I dropped everything for Sam.

And it’s not a bad thing to be in love. For me, it’s just a little strange. I never pictured myself in love with a girl that I’d met at high school. I never really saw myself laying in the same bed with a girl while she was still completely dressed and was only leaning against me, not even kissing me or grabbing at me.

I looked down at her, now sleeping. I could tell by how quiet her breathing was. I placed another kiss on the top of her head and pushed her hair away from her face, smiling at how adorable she looked just resting on my chest. Sam was always so tense and so high strung, and stressed out, she’d been especially these last few days. Which I didn’t blame her for, I mean she must have been going nuts around my family. And then flying in all the way from the States, and the anxiety practically eating her alive.

Nonetheless, she’d come all the way to see me, and I needed to make the best of it while she was here, so I lay in bed, with Sam sleeping on me, thinking of the best ideas I could come up with to make our day tomorrow a good one. There wasn’t much to do outside, now that it was getting so cold, and I knew that Sam wasn’t one for dealing with the cold.

That was one of the first things that I noticed with her. After planning and contemplating, I had a pretty solid plan for morning.

My eyes started to droop slightly and I pulled Sam closer to me, holding her as tightly as I possibly could. One last kiss on her head and I closed my eyes, kicked my shoes off and sighed loudly, hoping I could sleep, while being so excited for tomorrow.