Apology Accepted

I played with the edge of Oli's blanket as I waited for him to come back into the room. I was ready, dressed in some of Oli's clothes, and completely stoked for the show. I couldn't wait to see all the guys play. They'd only practiced when I couldn't watch, so I only got to hear muffled sound coming from the basement.

Conveniently, every time all the guys showed up, I was either out with Audri, or helping Carol out with something. Oliver'd been acting strange about the whole fucking thing ever since Wednesday. I hadn't said anything to him about it, because I figured he was just nervous, and I didn't want to pick at him like some crazy girlfriend.

"Oi, yeh didn't 'ave teh make meh bed." He grinned, walking into the bedroom, shuffling his hair.

I stood up awkwardly, wishing we were over this stage already, "Well, you know... You were getting ready, so I just figured I could make it."

"Well thanks."

I nodded as he walked towards his closet, pulling the doors open again and began pushing through his t shirts. He sighed loudly and pulled on a pair of shoes, then returned back to his shirts.

"I think you look fine." I spoke quietly, "You don't need to change."

He turned around to face me, "I just don't want teh get too 'ot 'er somethin'."

I walked over to him and hugged him, waiting until his arms wrapped around me to speak, "You're not upset with me, are you?"

"No, why would I be upset with yeh?"

I shrugged, pulling my face from his chest, "I don't know. You've just been acting strange. Kinda like you don't want me to see you play or something."

He pulled back and looked down at me, "Oi Sammeh, that's not it. I swear."

"Then what is it?"

"I dunno," He said, looking away from me, "'Ve just never played a live show at a venue before. 'M just a bit nervous."

I smiled up at him, kissing him on the mouth, "I'm sure you're going to be amazing Oli."

"I just don't wanna fuck it up."

"You're not going to!" I laughed, pushing hair out of his face, "And if you do... Well at least you're still adorable."

"Oh thanks," He grinned, rolling his eyes, "'M sure that'll get meh far."

"Oh. It will."

He laughed, pulling me closer to him and running his hands up my sides, "Yeh look fuckin' gorgeous tonight, yeh know that?"

I felt myself blushing like a maniac, "No. I didn't know that."

"Oi Sammeh," He laughed, "Yeh ain't blushin', are yeh?"

"No!"

"Yes yeh are!" He grinned, his teeth showing and his lip rings standing out, "Yeh're blushin'."

I reached up and kissed him again, grabbing a handful of his hair. I felt his hands grip my ribs slightly as he grinned against my mouth and managed to slip his tongue between my lips. I wrapped my other hand around his neck, pushing our faces even closer together. He bit down on my lip softly, pushing me against his wall. I felt his hand tugging at the bottom of my shirt when a loud bang startled the both of us and Oli's door smacked against the wall. We pulled apart abruptly, our faces red and we looked towards the door to see the culprit. Which was of course, Matt, standing there with a lopsided grin on his face.

"Yeh two, knock off yeh're snoggin'. We gotta get goin'."

"Oi, piss off Matt." Oli grinned, taking my hand in his, "Is everyone outside?"

"Yeah, we've got the van out there. Tom 'n Audri 'er gonna be there a little late, they 'ave some school thing teh finish up 'er somethin'."

"Right then," Oli said, pulling me towards his door.

"Oli, we need jackets!"

I grabbed mine off the bed and passed one off to him as well.

"Right then, now we're off." He grinned, gripping my hand tightly.

---------------------------------

We arrived at the venue after a short car ride full of over excited teenage boys and extremely cramped equipment. I was still at a complete loss as to what Oliver's part in the band was. For all I knew, he danced around naked and played the fucking tambourine. I even asked Matt what he played and all he did was look at Oli, back at me, and grin, saying, 'Oi. It seems to 'ave slipped meh mind. Sorry Doll.'. I would have asked the rest of the band, but that seemed completely useless, seeing as how they all snickered afterward and turned the other way.

I jumped out of the van, with Oli hot on my heels. Once everyone was out of the van, he made a huge deal about telling me I didn't have to help unload. But, I didn't know where the fuck to go, so he directed me towards a brick wall, near the back entrance to the stage so I could watch everyone take in the equipment. Normally I'd have helped out, but I was freezing and I just didn't want to get in the way. As I watched them unload, I managed to eavesdrop on the conversation between the two girls next to me.

"So this is the first time they've played 'ere?"

"'ts the first time they've played at all."

"I wonder why."

"'Cause Olleh can't get shit done without takin' forever teh do it."

I suddenly wanted to know who this girl was and what the fuck she was talking about. I turned towards her slightly, seeing a head of bleach blonde hair and overly made up eyes. There was another girl standing next to her, with long black hair, not as extreme as the other girl.

"What do yeh mean?"

"Took 'im almost a whole bottle of vodka teh get smashed, and then another ten minutes fer 'im teh actually try gettin' with meh."

"You've 'ad sex with him?"

"Course I have." She said smugly, "An' 'm gonna do it again."

"Tonight?"

"No, tomorrow." The girl snapped sarcastically.

"I thought we were 'ere fer the show."

"What? Yeh think I give a flyin' fuck 'bout 'is music? No."

At that remark, I turned and looked at the girls, completely repulsed. They were hardly what I'd call dressed, leaving nothing but the color of their pubes to the imagination. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked towards the boys again, doing my best to tune them out.

"Well, at least he's good lookin', it'll get 'im somewhere."

That was it. I launched away from the wall, completely angry. Part of me wanted to be mad with Oli for creating such a poor reputation of himself, but that just made me feel jealous and selfish, so I quickly let that slide and let myself be angry at the girls. I didn't expect them to know that I was with Oliver, but I really didn't care to hear about Oli getting used by girls who didn't give a fuck about him.

I walked around the other side of the van, becoming invisible to the two girls. It seemed I came in at the right time, as Matt and Curtis were just carrying in the last of the drum set, and a drum stick fell from Matt's pocket, clattering against the ground. He was so preoccupied with joking around with Curtis, he didn't notice he'd dropped it. So I followed them inside and leaned over to pick it up when I felt someone grab a whole handful of my ass.

I turned around with a loud shriek and came face to face with Oliver, who was grinning like a school boy, "Miss meh?"

I poked him in the stomach with the drum stick and grinned at him, kissing his bottom lip, "Of course Oliver."

"Ouch!" He exclaimed, rubbing his stomach and pouting, "That 'urt."

I kissed his pouting mouth again, "I love you Ols."

"I love yeh too."

Our 'moment' was interrupted by Matt walking past us in a huff, yelling, "For fuck's sake! I lost meh god damn drum stick!"

"'Ey Nicholls!" Oli yelled, resting a hand on my waist.

"What?"

I held the drumstick towards him smirking, "You dropped this."

"Oi, thank yeh!" he grinned, "Now where the 'ell is Tom?"

"'M right 'ere!" Tom's voice yelled from the open door, Audri trailing close behind him.

"Oi, perfect timin', yeah?" Oli grinned, kissing me on the cheek, "I gotta run. We're playin' first an' we gotta set up. Yeh cool bein' with Audri?"

I nodded, "Yeah of course."

"Alright Love."

I waved bye to him as he walked off with Tom, who was grinning at the two of us. Whether or not he thought we were cute, or thought Oliver was being a twit, I didn't know. I walked over to Audri, who looked just about as excited as I felt.

"Are yeh ready teh see 'em play?"

I nodded, "Yes! Are you in on the whole, 'don't-tell-Sam-what-Oli's-part-in-the-band-is' as well?"

"I am," She smiled, "But don't worry. You'll find out soon enough! Come on, let's go down to the floor so we can see better."

I followed her down to where a bunch of people were standing, chatting excitedly with drinks in their hands. My eyes about fell out of my face as I realized Audri and I were the only girls without our nipples practically hanging out of our shirts.

Almost instantly, the lights dimmed and the stage lit up. I watched with a ball of excitement caught in my throat as I Matt had his place on the drums. Lee, Curtis, and Kean all had some type of guitar/bass in their hands, and finally it dawned on me. Of course Oli lied about singing. He was probably being shy Oliver and getting embarrassed or something. I then waited as the four boys already onstage began playing their instruments. I was dumbstruck by the familiarity of the song, but I couldn't come to terms with A) Where the fuck I'd heard it or B) Why it was so familiar.

I listened to the introduction and watched as Oli came out onstage. I grinned up at him before he raised the microphone to his lips and looked around nervously, surveying the venue. He waited maybe ten more seconds before he started screaming into the microphone. Literally, screaming. And I knew I'd heard it somewhere before. But I shoved that thought to the back of my mind as I watched in pure amazement as he threw himself around the stage, his face red and contorted, looking as though he was about to break at any moment, and I suddenly remembered where I'd heard his voice.

In the Jackson's. Back at home. Where Jeremy played the lead singer. The one with the bad ass name. Oliver Sykes, my fucking boyfriend.

I suddenly let out a loud squeal as I made the connection and I felt that much cooler. I looked over at Audri and Tom who were grinning at me. I smiled back at them and turned towards the stage, letting Oliver take over my attention.

I watched as he ran from one end of the stage to the other. They didn’t have much of a crowd, but it was obvious Oli really knew how to get people going. His face was bright red and his head sweaty, his hair sticking to his eye lashes, poking him in the eyes. I watched as he shoved the hair from his face, and threw himself down at the stage again, the hair only falling back in his eyes.

Every time he got a small yell or a whistle, a grin erupted on his face, making the sweat around his mouth glisten as his eyes lit up and looked across the crowd. He looked so happy up there, so excited, so energetic and just completely stoked.

It amazed me how much he put into his screaming. He looked so right up onstage. I was so proud of him, just being up there and screaming his heart out. It was so much different from the Oliver I normally saw. The bashful, quiet, insecure Oliver. He was now up onstage, just screaming. He was up there, so raw, so real, so fucking vulnerable. I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he raised the microphone to his lips and pulled it down, only to resume his screaming mere seconds later. I was so extremely proud of him for going up there and just showing everyone who he really was.

It was like he was completely stripped of himself, and at that very moment, I found an entirely new respect for Oli. I couldn’t imagine what it was like to go up there and just do what I loved to do, hoping to God that someone found me talented, or even entertaining for that matter.

I was so happy at that very moment that I had someone as amazing as Oliver to call mine.

As the show ended, Oliver pointed towards a small corner in the venue (which had gone completely unnoticed by me) and introduced himself and the boys as Bring Me The Horizon. Audri, Tom and I kept planted as we waited for them to come down. I twisted on my feet, looking for Oliver and became excited all over again as I saw the top of his sweaty head coming towards me. I grinned and waited in anticipation as girls upon girls congratulated him a lot more than they should have. I watched as guys patted him on the back and yelled in his ear.

It seemed to be that every time he was stopped, the more excited I got and every girl that stopped him seemed to make me even more jealous. And he was a mere foot away from me when he looked at me, the happiest grin I’d yet to see spread across his face, and all of a sudden, he was taken completely off guard as the girl with the bleached hair flew forward at him. She grabbed his face between both her hands and kissed him roughly on the mouth.

I gave up waiting as anger welled up inside me and I lunged forward, grabbing the girl by her hair and throwing her away from Oliver. She retaliated by coming back at me, both hands outstretched towards me and I shoved her away, running towards her, ready to nail her in her stupid fucking face.

I was sent into even more outrage as I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and Oliver dived in front of the girl, shielding her from me. I kicked and writhed in the arms I was in, too upset to even lunge after the girl anymore. I couldn’t believe my eyes as Oliver stood in front of her, just cowering like a little fucking bitch. And I closed my eyes, still writhing against who I’d guessed to be Matt. Then, all in a blur, I was dragged outside into the cold air.

I stood against the wall and opened my eyes, seeing Oli standing there, looking irritated, and I immediately felt so ashamed of myself, so lame.

He turned away from me, leaning against the wall and shaking his head. I felt my arms wrap around myself as I realized how cold it was. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do. So, I stood there. I looked down the street, seeing cars pull in the parking lot of the venue, only showing up to see the headlining band, not Oliver’s band. I looked down the other side of the street to see cars idling at the stop light, the sky too dark to see the irritated looks on the driver’s faces.

I grinded my foot against the gravel on the ground just to make noise and looked at Oliver again, who was now looking at me. His face had lost all its excitement and his hair was in small curls around his face, the cold air freezing the sweat on his skin. His eyes met mine and they looked somber, his face just looked quiet.

"I really mean that much teh yeh Sam?" He said, his voice cracking.

"What?" I asked.

"Do I really mean that much teh yeh that yeh'd start a fight over some girl kissin' meh?"

"Oh," I said quietly, "I get it. Now you think I'm some kind of jealous freak, don't you?"

"That's not what I said Sam."

"Well you're acting like I'm some kind of psycho! Jumping in front of that girl like I was going to fucking kill her or something!"

"Yeh were gonna knock her face in Sam! Do yeh want teh get in trouble in England?"

"Maybe I fucking do!" I yelled back, throwing my arms in the air.

"Why are yeh gettin' so worked up over this?"

Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at him, "I don't know Oli. Maybe it's because I've spent so much fucking time-"

I was cut off abruptly by the back door swinging open and Matt standing there with his drum sticks in his hand, "Erm, Ols. Can yeh come in and 'elp us? We 'ave like three minutes teh get the 'ell outta 'ere."

Oliver looked back at me and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and followed Matt inside.

"Can yeh open up the van fer meh Sam?" Matt asked, tossing me the keys.

I caught the keys, nodding, "Yeah."

As I shoved the keys into the holes on the back of the van, I was still seething. I guessed Matt had kept me outside and taken Oliver inside to cool us both down. But, I was still upset with Oliver.

It wasn't so much I was angry with him, it was the situation I was upset over. I didn't like things being taken away from me like that. I'd had enough taken from me, I'd lost enough, and I didn't need yet another thing lost.

Especially something as important to me as Oliver.