Can I Love Someone Older?

I was lying on my bed, I was too hot, but too cold, (if that makes sense). I was counting the imaginary cracks in my ceiling. Lying there, just thinking. I was asleep earlier, but sometimes, fantasies become...too much to handle. I had been home for a while, I didn’t go to school, and nobody was complaining. Fred had said to take the day off, and think about his question, he had asked me a while ago. It was confusing, and to quite honest, I really didn’t know the answer. Thinking about it, I couldn’t really find anything wrong, with loving either of them, but for some reason, I couldn’t really decipher the face, the face that belonged to the one I loved most. I mean, I was so confused, I couldn’t think straight. To be quite honest, I was totally confused, because I’m no longer in control.

I sit, and place my head in my hands, but soon use them to remove my shirt, it was too hot to think, and my room wasn’t really helping. I stand and walk to the bathroom, only to bump into my sister, and some guy she was dragging into her room. I didn’t ask, because one, she glared at me, and two I just watched and shook my head, my sisters business was her own, and not mine to meddle with. I watched her close the door, then continued on to the bathroom. Walking in, I walk straight to the mirror. I look at myself closely. Fiery red hair, with black tips, that stood up, but fell in front of my face. Dark Brown eyes. Pail, but an unnoticeable tan, was present on my skin. I smiled softly, and looked at my white, perfect smile, what was there not to love? (laughs)

I brush my teeth, and make my way back to my room, there wasn’t much that I could do, and my mind was racing with thoughts, and unanswered questions of my own. I walk and enter my room. I look around, a small desk in the corner, computer and paper sat there neatly, minus some books open and scattered, along the desk. A small book case in the corner, full of books, and old magazines, that I no longer read. A small table was beside my bed, holding a lamp, a book that I had just finished minutes ago, my phone, and iPod.

I walked to my bed, and laid down, looking at the ceiling again, I place my hands under my head, and started to think. First my mind, moulded and I came up with nothing, then pictures and colours appeared. I started think about my relationship with Mia, and her face showed, and soon the rest of her followed. The first thing I pictured, was the day I asked her out.

“Brendan, hey Brendan, buddy, see that chick over there?” my friend Damien asked, his arm around my shoulders, leaning on me, to stabilize himself. I looked to where his small finger was pointing, and I found a beautiful young woman looking in my direction. I smiled, as I saw a blush creep onto she, delicate face. My smile widened as her blush became brighter, and she tried to hide her face.

I stopped think, and a small smile was present on my face. Mia was absolutely beautiful, but for some reason, I felt like the love I had for her, had died, yet I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Not yet anyway. My smile became wider, as I started to see Sarah. Her small fragile face, her eyes no longer dulled, but not so bright, as to lose their mystery and cloudiness. Her hair flowing, in an undetectable wind. I wanted to reach out, and hold her, it was an uncontrollable urge, that I couldn’t contain, but I was lucky earlier.

I rethought about them, going over things I knew about them. Mia, she was a girly girl to the max, but that just added to her cuteness. While Sarah, she was a confused tom boy, daring to go further than most, while concealing everything, that people want to know. She was a mystery, a book yet to be opened, and read, an untold, and left to dust mystery, that people wanted to know about, yet were fooled by her outstanding smile. Sarah, was so different from people, yet you could never tell whether or not you were right or wrong, she was too confusing, yet so...i couldn’t mind a word to describe her. She was unique, and there was nothing like her. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to say that I loved her.

My mind stopped, and repeated the words I had just said. I loved her. Not Mia, or anyone else, but her, Sarah Jasmin Thomas, the girl who’s been stuck in my head for so many days and nights, that you would think I was obsessed. The girl who created a bombshell, right in my mind, confused me, to even question my own life, to question everything. I was in love with her, and yet for some reason, I wasn’t sure that I should.