Can I Love Someone Older?

I had woken up in my grandmother’s car, and she was driving in the direction of my father’s house. I sighed and looked at my grandmother, watching her emotionless face look out the window. I had been told multiple times that I was the spitting image of her, but I could never see it. She was kind, intelligent, graceful and unbreakable. She was everything I wasn’t. I was fragile, weak, everything she wasn’t. As if feeling me stare at her, my grandmother looked at me.

My face went red at me being caught staring at her, and I looked down at my hands on my lap. I heard her breath out a breathless laugh, and I couldn’t help the smile forming on my face. “It’s good to see you again Sarah” I heard my grandmother being speaking, and I looked towards her before looking out the window beside me. “Sarah, how did you find our house?” I knew the question would come, and so would the memory of what happened followed.

I blink tears away as they formed, and I could already see the look of concern on my grandmother’s face. “Sarah, what happened? Is your mother hitting you again?” I couldn’t help a laugh as she asked that. Mother hitting me again, that wouldn’t happen, not after what grandmother did to her. I looked at my grandmother, and sucked in a shaky breath. “just stuff grandmother, just a lot of stuff” I knew she would press for questions, but for once she didn’t as if knowing it would hurt me, but what she asked me next scared me into thinking she was able to read minds or something.”So who’s the lucky, or unfortunate fellow?” I could hear the smirk in her voice, and I couldn’t help but growl.

“One, his not lucky, and two, his not unfortunate” “ah, but that is where you are wrong my dear, his unlucky because you said...” she didn’t finish so I said the end for her, the ‘I can’t’ that I said to Brendan’s face, and with nothing but a peck on the lips goodbye. I sighed and looked out the window again, waiting for her to ask why I said that, instead of what I really wanted to say.

My mind became frantic with questions, like why did you say no? Why can’t you date him? You love him right? That was your chance why did you blow it? I shook my head, and cleared the questions away; right now I didn’t even know the answer myself.

I toned back into reality, and listened to my grandmother. “Sara, if you really like someone, and you have the chance to show that then take it, don’t let it pass you by or say no as soon as the opportunity arrives” it hurt hearing everything my grandmother was saying, because I knew it was all true. I had hurt Brendan, I could see that, and I had hurt myself just lying to him, saying I can’t, it had hurt me, broken me to say it, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say ‘yes’

I hadn’t noticed when we had reached my father’s place, but when I looked out the front window, we were parked in the driveway. I sighed and got a hold of the door handle and opened the door slowly, hoping nobody would run out n jump me, (it could happen). “Sarah, I called your father, and told him that you where coming home, but knowing him, he probably over exaggerated, and called the police or something, but I know one thing...i made sure he called you boyfriend and to make sure he was the first one to see you”

I let go of the door, and my grandmother smiled. I was already out of the door and standing outside the car, when she grabbed the door shut it and drove off. I stood there, before sighing and making my way, slowly towards the house. I was looking forward to seeing Brendan, but I wasn’t sure he would want to see me. I made it to the door, and walked inside, while yelling Brendan.