Tonight, Tonight She's Not Alone

I made myself seem adequately presentable and prepared myself to be in her presence. I didn’t want to come on too strong, though the monster inside me was begging to be let out; yet I didn’t want to seem quiet and make things awkward. Once I thought I looked alright, I dashed down the stairs and calmly entered the outside world.

Rain pelted down onto my head and the reflection of the streetlights on the wet pavement blinded me. Where this rain had come from, I didn’t know, but it almost gave me an excuse to go over and start up a conversation.
‘ “My lights are out, do you have a flashlight or some candles?”
No, that’s ridiculous, she knows the lights aren’t out…’
I thought of excuses to tell her why I was coming over but nothing sensible came to mind.

I quickly found myself upon the front steps of her house and my finger reaching for the doorbell. I paused and thought about it, getting a little bit nervous. My hand retracted from the doorbell before I could press it and I spun on my heels.
‘I’m not ready…’

I began to walk down the stairs when I heard the door creak open and her soft voice snuck up into my eardrums.
“Hello?”
I froze, not sure what to do; my muscles told me to stop and not go any further, yet my brain told me to turn around and greet her. I paused for a moment before I turned around and saw her head peaking out from behind the door.

“Can I help you?”
My mind was stuck and no words seemed to come out from my mouth.
“Uhh…” I dumbly replied.
“Do you need something?” She called again. Her eyes were wide and one eyebrow was cocked.
“Yeah, I was just uh… wondering if you um… wanted to… like… uhh… hang out?” That took more effort and courage than it should’ve. I felt so stupid at that moment. A grin was forming on her face and I was bracing myself for humiliation.

“Sure, come on in.” She giggled and waved me inside her house.
I was certain that at any moment my heart was going to explode and break my chest wide open. I was inside her house, with her!
She shut the door behind her and smiled at me. “I haven’t seen you in a while,”
‘Does she actually remember who I am?’ I asked myself, nervous to even bring the subject up.

“Yeah, it’s definitely been a while.” I grinned back, trying to take deep yet subtle breaths to calm myself.
“Are you hungry?” She asked, gliding to the kitchen. “I’m just eating supper.”
I shook my head and followed her to the tiled kitchen. She sat herself down and ate the remains of her food as I sat and watched from the other end of the table. My stomach growled with hunger pains but I refused to listen to them.

We sat in silence while I drowned myself in thoughts of something to say to break the tension. Nothing. The awkwardness between us lingered in the air and it was torturing me. I wanted to hear her beautiful voice; I wanted to see her plump soft lips part and smile at me; I wanted her now.

“Come, let’s go talk in the living room,” She smirked and strode away from me. I followed quickly behind, studying her every move as I followed. I looked her up and down and felt the monster inside me try to thrust me forward. The monster was no longer in my stomach but was now moving his way up to my brain, so he could take over completely.

I slouched down on the couch and couldn’t help but stare at her. She was beautiful.
“So why haven’t I seen you around lately?” She questioned, her sparkling eyes piercing right through me.
“I’ve just been busy, I guess…” I replied, sheepishly.
“Huh,” She snickered, obviously unimpressed with my answer. “So, do you have a girlfriend?!” A smile grew upon her face as she tried to jump right into a deep conversation.
“No,” Another simple answer. She stared at me as if she were expecting some big story about why I didn’t or something along the lines, but I had no juicy gossip to spill to her.

The silence grew between us again, driving me insane.
“Why are you still going out with him?” I asked, not entirely thinking through what I had just said until it had escaped from my mouth. Her eyes grew wide with shock for a moment but then she sighed and sunk down into the cushions of the couch.
“I don’t know, I really don’t.” Her skin was turning red and her eyes were turning glossy. Maybe it was a bad time to bring up the subject, but it at least started the conversation.

“I saw what he did to you,” My mind was no longer under my control, it now belonged to my monster. He whispered to me to trust him, if things went as he planned, he would be able to feast tonight.
Tears were now slowly falling from her eyes and dropping down onto the collar of her shirt, turning it a darker shade of red.
“You shouldn’t be with him, he doesn’t treat you right.” I prodded, only making things worse and worse. “You should be with someone who can treat you right, someone like…” I paused and knew what was coming but was trying to refrain from saying it.
She looked at me, sniffling and waiting for me to say it.

“Someone like… me.” I blurted it out and quickly decided that I wanted to disappear. I wanted to sink into the cushions and disappear; I wanted to go back in time and smack myself.
‘What did I just do?’

Her face went blank and I pleaded that she would just shrug it off. I waited for anything to happen but nothing did and it was killing me.
Then, something happened. Something I can’t explain…
Our lips collided and our bodies pressed together…