The Humanoid Diaries

Dear Diary,

You will not believe what has just happened. Yesterday, I watched the news…another alert after Aereius’ death.

As usual the reporter rattled on about miscellaneous subjects such as weather, and sports (although sports never existed in New Babylon) then in an instant, she began to reveal the breaking news.

“A new ruler has taken her place on the Babylonian throne. She is beautiful, wise, and ambitious and has wonderful plans for our beloved New Babylon, and the entire world. She has sworn to uphold the will of the people over her own agenda…she has promised a pure democracy…although monarchy has been present in our city. She insures representation for all people. She assures freedom!”

The reporter grew more excited as she read the teleprompter. Her speech was more rapid.

“All Hail Queen Phoenix, may she reign forevermore!”

My mouth dropped. Phoenix? Queen? How could this be? As soon as those questions crossed my mind, there was footage on the television of Phoenix being crowned. She made her way before the throne and turned facing the crowd. The crowd erupted into mania…cheering and chanting her name with such fervor and tenacity. They loved her. She in that moment had become the darling of the entire world, and rightfully so. Phoenix simply smiled and waved. Her grey eyes flashing happiness…her hair much shorter than I had remembered…was no longer white…but a rose color with the occasional black streak. Her skin was a golden hue…and seemed to sparkle like jewels as the sunlight hit her…she radiated. She was beautiful. A foreign beauty. She could not be of this world…she had to have come from Heaven. The news reported ended (to my disappointment) and I turned off the television. I lay down on my bed…staring at the ceiling…pondering.

There she was…Phoenix…I must admit that I was glad to see her again. In reality, outside of my dreams. Yes, I have dreamed of her many times….ever since that first meeting…she has become a quiet obsession. Every dream I had of her was the same. She would whisper my name…over and over again…Reaching her long slender arms out to me beckoning me nearer. I would then fall into her arms…inhaling her sweet scent of vanilla. She would lightly run her fingers through my hair. I would touch her cheek. I could hear the deafening sound of heartbeats…and faint sound of breaths…we would embrace each other…forcefully…our lips pressed together…then there was the ripping and tearing of clothes…skin to skin contact…heat from fire…burning wildly….Passion! Fear! Uncertainty! Would rush between us…yet…the dream would end there…it never ended in sex…I had always woke up when it had gotten to that point.

I would sit in bed in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. Ashamed of my thoughts…guilty of such a dream that I would have for her. Why would I think of her in such a way? Yet…a part of me desired her. I wanted her…but I could not have her.

Aside from my lustful imaginations, a lot of questions have been surfacing in my mind. One being, is where do I go from here? I am free…free to do anything….

Yes…anything.

But what?

What am I now?

I know what I am not…and that is a savior.

I will write again momentarily.

Until Then,



The pain of love will last forever…promise me…promise me…

Bill.