Status: Finished
But It's Better If You Swear to Shake It Up.
You're scared, aren't you?
Spencer's P.O.V.
Hearing another scream come out of the hospital room we had checked Kara into, I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath.
“Spencer, dude, you gotta go in there.” I looked up to see Ryan standing before me.
“I-I don't think I can, Ry,” I said shaking my head.
“Why? You guys have been waiting for this for months? You're choosing now to freak out?” he asked me and I didn't respond. I heard him huff and walk back down the hallway into the waiting room. About a minute later, I heard more footsteps coming down the hall. Figuring it was Brendon, I didn't look up at them.
“Hey, man. What are you doing out here?” Jon asked, sitting down next to me.
“I don't know,” I said.
“You're scared, aren't you?”
“Yeah.. I mean, I thought I was prepared for this, but it's like I just realized this is happening for real. I'm really going to be a dad. I want to go in there, but now I have all these thoughts racing through my head. Like whether or not I'll be a good enough dad for her. Whether or not she's going to like me. She probably won't even know me because we're on tour so much. I just want the best for her, and what if that's not me?” I asked, looking up at him.
“Spence, I know how you feel. I went through this a lot when Angie was pregnant with Jacob. But, like you said, you've spent months planning. You're ready, even if you don't think you are. And you'll know as soon as you hold that little girl in your arms. It's an amazing feeling, Spencer. To hold your own baby.”
“I think you're right,” I nodded slightly, looking up at him.
“I am. Now get in there! Kara needs you! I'm pretty sure she'd have more to say to you than Cali right now,” he told me and I laughed.
“I'm going in,” I said standing up. “Thanks Jon.” I reached out for a hug, which he happily returned.
“It's no problem. Now fucking go meet your daughter!” he told me before turning and walking back towards the waiting room. I turned the handle for the door, walking inside to see Kara lying on her side in the bed.
“Where the fuck have you been?” she snapped as soon as she saw me. Cali just looked up from the chair she was sitting in before looking back down at her phone.
“I was trying to find you those peanut butter cups,” I told her and she rolled her eyes before rolling over and sitting up.
“Bull shit. It did not take you that long to find two fucking peanut butter cups,” she told me.
“I had to really look around, babe.”
“Don't fucking lie to me, Spencer!” I think she would have continued if she wasn't hit by another contraction.
“Your last one was like a minute ago. I think she's coming,” Cali said standing up.
“Well then get the god damn nurse!” Kara told her and she sighed before pressing the calling button. The nurse appeared a couple seconds later to check on Kara.
“Well, I'm going to call the doctor in now, it looks like you're fully dilated and ready to go,” she told Kara before walking out. I walked towards Kara and kissed her forehead while holding her hand.
“This fucking hurts,” she told me and I nodded.
“I know, baby,” I told her and she shook her head.
“No, you don't.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Okay, Kara, let's get rolling,” the doctor stated as she walked in and helped Kara position her feet in the stirrups. She squeezed my hand as another contraction hit and the doctor told her to push. She pushed, letting out another screaming curse.
“Come on, baby, just keep pushing!” I told her and turned to look at me angrily.
“I am fucking pushing! You want to do this? You push dammit!” she told me and I shut up.
“Oh my fucking God, I'm going to kill you Spencer Smith! I swear to god, I will castrate you,” she threatened and I still remained silent.
“Okay, she's crowning now. Give me one more big push, Kara,” the doctor commanded and she did so. “Now stop pushing!”
Suddenly the sound of a baby crying filled the room. I watched as the doctor walked over and set our newborn daughter in Kara's arms. I smiled over at Kara, noting that she had tears falling down her cheeks as she looked at the tiny little baby.
“She's beautiful, Kara,” I told her after the doctor had cleaned her up and placed a small diaper on her. She was now wrapped in a soft pink receiving blanket Kara had brought from home.
“She looks just like you,” she told me.
“No, she has your nose,” I told her.
“She has your eyes,” she told me. “And your cheeks.”
“I still think she's just beautiful,” I claimed and she nodded.
“She definitely is.”
Hearing another scream come out of the hospital room we had checked Kara into, I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath.
“Spencer, dude, you gotta go in there.” I looked up to see Ryan standing before me.
“I-I don't think I can, Ry,” I said shaking my head.
“Why? You guys have been waiting for this for months? You're choosing now to freak out?” he asked me and I didn't respond. I heard him huff and walk back down the hallway into the waiting room. About a minute later, I heard more footsteps coming down the hall. Figuring it was Brendon, I didn't look up at them.
“Hey, man. What are you doing out here?” Jon asked, sitting down next to me.
“I don't know,” I said.
“You're scared, aren't you?”
“Yeah.. I mean, I thought I was prepared for this, but it's like I just realized this is happening for real. I'm really going to be a dad. I want to go in there, but now I have all these thoughts racing through my head. Like whether or not I'll be a good enough dad for her. Whether or not she's going to like me. She probably won't even know me because we're on tour so much. I just want the best for her, and what if that's not me?” I asked, looking up at him.
“Spence, I know how you feel. I went through this a lot when Angie was pregnant with Jacob. But, like you said, you've spent months planning. You're ready, even if you don't think you are. And you'll know as soon as you hold that little girl in your arms. It's an amazing feeling, Spencer. To hold your own baby.”
“I think you're right,” I nodded slightly, looking up at him.
“I am. Now get in there! Kara needs you! I'm pretty sure she'd have more to say to you than Cali right now,” he told me and I laughed.
“I'm going in,” I said standing up. “Thanks Jon.” I reached out for a hug, which he happily returned.
“It's no problem. Now fucking go meet your daughter!” he told me before turning and walking back towards the waiting room. I turned the handle for the door, walking inside to see Kara lying on her side in the bed.
“Where the fuck have you been?” she snapped as soon as she saw me. Cali just looked up from the chair she was sitting in before looking back down at her phone.
“I was trying to find you those peanut butter cups,” I told her and she rolled her eyes before rolling over and sitting up.
“Bull shit. It did not take you that long to find two fucking peanut butter cups,” she told me.
“I had to really look around, babe.”
“Don't fucking lie to me, Spencer!” I think she would have continued if she wasn't hit by another contraction.
“Your last one was like a minute ago. I think she's coming,” Cali said standing up.
“Well then get the god damn nurse!” Kara told her and she sighed before pressing the calling button. The nurse appeared a couple seconds later to check on Kara.
“Well, I'm going to call the doctor in now, it looks like you're fully dilated and ready to go,” she told Kara before walking out. I walked towards Kara and kissed her forehead while holding her hand.
“This fucking hurts,” she told me and I nodded.
“I know, baby,” I told her and she shook her head.
“No, you don't.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Okay, Kara, let's get rolling,” the doctor stated as she walked in and helped Kara position her feet in the stirrups. She squeezed my hand as another contraction hit and the doctor told her to push. She pushed, letting out another screaming curse.
“Come on, baby, just keep pushing!” I told her and turned to look at me angrily.
“I am fucking pushing! You want to do this? You push dammit!” she told me and I shut up.
“Oh my fucking God, I'm going to kill you Spencer Smith! I swear to god, I will castrate you,” she threatened and I still remained silent.
“Okay, she's crowning now. Give me one more big push, Kara,” the doctor commanded and she did so. “Now stop pushing!”
Suddenly the sound of a baby crying filled the room. I watched as the doctor walked over and set our newborn daughter in Kara's arms. I smiled over at Kara, noting that she had tears falling down her cheeks as she looked at the tiny little baby.
“She's beautiful, Kara,” I told her after the doctor had cleaned her up and placed a small diaper on her. She was now wrapped in a soft pink receiving blanket Kara had brought from home.
“She looks just like you,” she told me.
“No, she has your nose,” I told her.
“She has your eyes,” she told me. “And your cheeks.”
“I still think she's just beautiful,” I claimed and she nodded.
“She definitely is.”