But It's Better If You Swear to Shake It Up.

Ryan's P.O.V.

I slid back down into the pool after Pete had finished, hising at the sting of the cold water on my flushed body.

"You wanna go inside now, it is pretty cold out here." Pete said grabbing my hand and not even waiting for me to answer. I slipped my shorts up a little more when I felt wind where I knew I shouldn't. I let Pete lead me into Brendon and Cali's kitchen where we found Cali and Kara sitting down at the table and eating some form of ice cream out of a carton. Pete quickly let go of my hand.

"Hey. What were you guys doing out there so late?" Kara asked, her brown eyes dancing as if she had just been laughing at something hysterical.

"N-nothing." I squeaked feeling a pink tint rise on my cheeks as the thought of them possibly seeing us outside popped into my head.

"Really?" She asked giving me a weird look.

"We just wanted to go swimming for a little bit longer. Is that okay with you?" Pete stepped into the conversation and saving me from embarrassing myself.

"Fine with me, but it's not my pool. Ask Cali." Kara told him shrugging and sticking her spoon back into the cartoon and bringing out a spoonful of chocolate ice cream with swirls of a light shade of brown, peanut butter I believe.

"Is that okay with you?" He asked turning to Cali.

"As long as you want, baby. Just don't cum in my pool." She told him before getting up putting her spoon in the sink. "Ry, can I talk to you?"

She turned to me and I knew at that moment that I was busted. She knew. "Um, uh, sure. I guess." I said getting up and following her into the guest bedroom by the stairs.

"Why the pool?" She asked and cracked a grin.

"I, uhm....." I started but didn't finsih.

"Ryan, don't be so nervous. It's okay, seriously. It was just a bit shocking to find out by looking out my window." She told me and my face flushed even darker.

"I didn't wanna come out this way." I told her staring at my feet.

"Well, technically, you didn't. Kara and I were the only ones that saw you two. Brendon, Patrick, and Spencer are all downstairs goofing around with the band stuff."

"Well that's a little comforting." I said glad that my friends didn't have to find out like that. Brendon would never let me hear the end of that.

"So, how long?" She asked sitting down on the bed and pulling me with her.

"Have we been together, or how long have I been gay?" I asked.

"Both. But start with the second one."

"Well, I guess I knew since I was in junior high, actually, but I just didn't want to admit it to myself. My parents raised me Catholic, so it felt wrong. I thought there was something wrong with me, like I had some kind of disease or something." I told her and she nodded.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. When did you actually realize it though?" She asked and I wasn't sure if I should tell her.

"Well, if I tell you, you can't tell him. Okay?" I told her.

"Uh huh. Now tell me. I wanna know." She said and a sighed before continuing.

"I finally realized and accepted it when I was seventeen. About the time I met Brendon." I told her.

Her face was blank for a second and then her eyes opened wide and her jaw dropped.

"Oh my god! You liked Brendon! My boyfriend was your first man crush?" She asked laughing.

"Yeah, but don't tell him. He doesn't know and it was a long time ago. I'm over it now." I told her.

"I won't, but that's funny. Holy shit, Rydon does exist." She said and I groaned.

"Don't even start with that shit." I told her and she just giggled more.

"I always knew there was something there. So how long did you like him?"

"About a year. Until we met Pete and got signed."

"Pete Wentz, eh?" She asked and I actually laughed this time.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I don't know how you picked him over Brendon, but whatever. So what's going on there?"

"Brendon's not gay. And Pete's bi. It just worked that way. Well for the last about year, we've gone through this cycle where he would come out and visit me when he felt lonely, and then you know what would happen. I guess he liked the friendship with benefits thing. And I did too, well for a while anyway. But it just started becoming too much for me." I told her and thought back to our talk the other night.

"So, what? Are you still his one night stand with no regrets?"

"No, I told him I was done playing those games. I said he would either have to choose to be with me, or not to have me at all."

"And he chose to be with you?"

"Yupp. So there you go." I said.

"Okay. Just wanted to know. But you still gotta tell the guys." She said.

"I know, I will. Just not tonight. I'll pick a time when they are less likely to freak out."

"They're not gonna freak out. Your friends are some of the most supportive people. They'll be there for you no matter what."

"Yeah, but....I just don't know. I'm just worried they'll feel weird around me. Especially Brendon. That's why I don't want you to tell him about me liking him. It would be weird for even me." I told her.

"If there's one thing I can promise you, it's that Brendon will not hate you for crushing on him when you guys were teenagers. He's a sweet heart, and definitely not a homophobe. You're his best friend. He won't let that shit in his way. He's not stupid."

"But still." I tried to argue to her, but she shut me up.

"But still nothing. Even if it goes wrong with the guys, I'll always be here for you." She said and I smiled.

"Thanks, honey." I said hugging her tightly and feeling her arms back around me.

Just then the door burst open and I heard Brendon shouting. "I knew it!" He yelled.

"What?" Cali asked him breaking away from me and looking at him.

"That the pillow I searched up and down for was in here. I told you!" He said and she rolled her eyes and grabbed it before throwing it at him. She gave me a look and I laughed.

"So what are you guys doing?" He asked throwing the pillow on the floor and walking over to sit on the bed between Cali and I.

"Talking." She told him.

"Talking about what?" He asked.

"How much of a dumbass you are." I told him and he gave me one of his famous grins.

"I'd rather be a dumbass then an ass hole, Georgie Poo!" He said sticking his tongue out at me and I glared back at him for calling me by my first name.

"Stick it in yours, Brendon Boyd." I told him and he sneered.

"That wasn't very good." He told me and I rolled my eyes.

"I'll tell you where you both can stick it." Cali said and Brendon turned to her.

"Don't start. Some of us need love tonight." He told her and she giggled before he landed a perfectly soft kiss on her lips. I felt a slight yearning for those lips on mine. And then I remembered Pete. I knew I couldn't do that to him. I never wanted to hurt him. And I wouldn't hurt Cali either. I had already lied to her. But how could I tell her I still had feelings for the man who happens to be her boyfriend? I don't. Right?