But It's Better If You Swear to Shake It Up.

Brendon's P.O.V.

"Ryan come on," I said standing outside his open car door. He made no sign of moving and I sighed. "Ryan, we need to go inside, you can't sit out here. It's getting cold and you're gonna get sick."

"I'm not cold. You go," He told me quietly and I shut my eyes for a minute, thinking.

"You're gonna make me carry you, aren't you?" I asked him and he shrugged. "Fine," I said moving towards him and he tried to scoot away from me, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him closer. I pushed my arm under his knees and lifted them, then put my other arm behind his back and lifted him up bridal style out of the car. He put his arms around my neck and buried his head close to me, just like a sleeping little kid would when being carried up to bed. I got to the door and struggled to get the key into the key hole at the door and unlocked it to open the door and carried him over to the couch. I set him down and he curled up with his knees to his chest, looking the opposite way away from my stares. "I understand you're upset, Ry, but why are you acting so mad at me?"

He turned his head so he was facing me again and looked at me with sad eyes, and I watched tears reform in them as he began to speak. "I'm not mad at you, Bren."

"Then what's the matter?" I asked and he looked away again.

"Nothing. Just, never mind," He said suddenly and I brought his hand up to touch his arm, but he shrugged me away.

"There, you're doing it again. Why don't you want me to touch you?" I asked and he sighed.

"Look, Bren...it's not that I don't want you to touch me, it's just..." He started but stopped, looking at me.

"Shit Ryan, I thought we were over that," I told him and he looked down again.

"We are, but..." He stopped again and I put my head in my hands. "Brendon, I'm sorry. I didn't even want to say anything. It doesn't matter," He tried to tell me but I looked up after he stopped talking.

"It doesn't matter? Ryan, would you really be acting like this if it didn't matter?" I told him.

"That's not what I meant. I meant it doesn't matter because I know you don't feel like that for me anymore."

"Well how could you expect me too? You were the one who broke up with me to try and save your ass with some girl you didn't even care about!" I told him and he nodded. "And what about Pete?"

"I told you I was sorry about Keltie. I was stupid to leave you for her, especially since you sacrificed your relationship with Audrey to be with me. And as for Pete, I don't know. I'm really hurt and upset with him. Who knows what's going to happen there," He told me and I shook my head.

"Don't even say that, you need to talk to him before you make any decision about breaking up with him. He seemed just as upset as you are," I told him.

"No, he isn't. There's no way for him to be even half as hurt as I am since he was the one who cheated on me."

"You still need to talk to him," I told him and he shrugged.

"I guess so," He said and we were silent for a minute.

"I'm sorry, Brend. I didn't mean to make you-" He said but I shook my head.

"Don't talk about it, okay?" I said and he nodded, and the almost unbroken silence continued. I was confused. I knew I loved Cali, but I liked Ryan, too. There was a time before I met Cali where Ryan was my world. My addiction. That was the first time I ever really felt in love. But he had also been the first to break my heart. And now I had Cali, and I loved her more than I had loved him. I couldn't live without her. That I knew for sure. What was I supposed to do?

"Bren?" Ryan said a minute later breaking my thoughts and I looked at him.

"What?" I asked.

"Either your phone is ringing and vibrating against my leg, or your dick has gotten really excited and found a new magical talent," He said and I felt a vibration in my pocket. I pulled my sidekick out and answered it.

"Hello?" I asked into it and was met by Cali's voice.

"Hey. How is he?" She asked and I looked over at Ryan who was looking down examining chewing on his fingernails.

"He's a little better. Still kind of upset," I told her and he looked up at me.

"At least he's getting better. Pete's really upset. He won't talk to anyone, but he keeps asking me about Ryan. I think he really needs to talk to him, and I think Ryan should really listen to what he has to say," She told me and I put the phone on speaker.

"Ry, will you just give him a chance?" I asked him and he sighed, neither nodding nor shaking his head.

"Ryan?" Came Pete's voice over the phone. Instead of answering him, Ryan sat looking at the phone as if it was a ticking time bomb ready to go off at any minute.

"He's here Pete. Just keep going," I told him and Ryan looked back up to me frowning as if silently asking me why I had answered Pete.

"I'm really sorry, and I know this isn't going to make any sense. But I don't really remember anything that happened. I know I-" At this point he paused and I'm sure he swallowed hard before continuing. "I know I slept with Izey, but that's all I know. I don't remember. The last thing I can honestly remember is us dancing and then walking back to the table. I think there was something in my drink."

"The one Patrick and I both told you not to drink?" Ryan asked him suddenly speaking. Pete was silent for a minute before answering.

"Yeah," He said softly and I saw Ryan roll his eyes.

"Maybe you should have listened to us then," Ryan said beginning to get up but I grabbed his arm and dragged him back down.

"He's trying to apologize!" I whispered to him.

"I don't care. That doesn't change what he did. And how am I supposed to believe him anyway? Even if he is telling the truth, he should have listened to me in the first place and not drank that beer that had been sitting there. He shouldn't have been drinking at all because he knew I didn't want him to! And don't be so stupid, Bren, you know he can hear us, so stop whispering and grabbing me. I don't want to talk to that cheating motherfucking ass hole!" Ryan yelled at me as he tugged his arm out of my grip. He got up off that couch and stormed up the stairs into his room.

"Shit," I said picking the phone up and taking it over speaker phone. "Of course you heard that, right?"

"Unfortunately, every word of it," Cali told me and I didn't hear Pete talking anymore. But I did hear a whimper and then a sniffle.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I have to make sure he's okay," I told her listening to hear if there were any noises coming from upstairs.

"Okay. I love you, Brendon," She said told me.

"I love you, too," I told her flipping the phone shut and running up the stairs. I got to Ryan's room and heard a stifled sob come through the solid wood. I tried to turn the handle on the door, but it was locked. "Ryan, open the door!"

"No! Just leave me alone! I don't want to talk to you and I don't want to talk to anybody else!" He yelled back at me.

"You don't have to talk to me, just please unlock this door," I begged with him, trying to shake the handle again, turning it the opposite way but it wouldn't budge.

"Why should I?" He asked and his voice was closer this time. I knew he was a couple feet away from the door and all I needed to do was coax him into opening it for me.

"Because I want to know you're alright. I need to see that my Ryro's okay," I told him leaning on the door and I heard him sniff lightly.

"What does it matter to you if I'm okay? Why do you care so much about me?"

"I care so much about you because you're my best friend. I love you, Ryan," I told him and I heard his feet shuffle closer.

"No, you don't," He said and I heard the hint of love sickness in his voice and I felt a tear run down my own cheek.

"Ryan, I do love you. But it's not in the way that you think you want me to. Ryan, I've grown so close to you over these years, you're like a brother. Hell, I'm closer to you then I am to all three of my brothers. We practically live together on odd months of the year, and even when we're not on tour, we're together. I don't think we'd be this close if we hadn't been together emotionally and physically, and we're lucky to still be this close after that break up. Don't you understand, Ryan, you hurt me just like Pete hurt you tonight. I know the pain you're feeling, I went through it," I stopped for a minute and listened to the noise on the other side of the door. It was silent, and I knew he was thinking over everything I had just told him.

"B-Bren, I'm sorry," He told me and I noticed how shaky his words are and knew he was crying.

"Shh, don't cry. It's okay now, I got over it. And you will, too. With or without Pete. Although I hope you're still with Pete. But listen, I don't think I could love you as much as I used to. Cali's in my life now, you know that. And I love her, Ry, god do I love her. And you love Pete like that, too. If you didn't, then you wouldn't be sitting here crying like this. And I can see it. You smile all the time you're around him. And they aren't those little faked friendly smiles, they're these big goofy ones that take up your whole face. You're blushing a lot also. I never saw you blush so much before you were with Pete. You always seemed so sure of yourself and not easily embarrassed, but now you blush all the time, and Pete loves it. He's told me numerous times how cute your blush is. Your writing is different, too. I mean, you're actually writing love songs. Ryan, we both know that you love him. And I know that deep down, you don't really love me. You're in love with your memories with me. I know because I went through that phase right after we broke up too. And it's okay to hold onto those memories and cherish them, but you have to move on. Pete loves you, he tried to apologize to you, I really think he is sorry. And maybe he is telling the truth. Face it, Ry, even if you don't wanna be right now, you're hopelessly in love with him too. So maybe he deserves just one more chance," I finished and I heard the lock on the door click. I opened it to see Ryan standing there with tears running down his cheeks, but also a huge smile spread across his face.

"Thank you," He told me and I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. He held tight to me and I felt the liquid tears hit my shoulder. I lifted my head up and looked at him with tears still falling down, and I brought my hand up and wiped them from his eyes.

"Your welcome. I told you I care," I said and he laughed. He pulled out of the hug and sat down on the bed, dragging me down to sit next to him. Hobo ran over from where she had been laying by Ryan's pillow and sat in my lap, licking up the salty tears that still remained on my own cheeks,

"Hobo, stop," Ryan giggled pulling her away from me and setting her on the floor. She ran out of the room and a minute later there was a loud crash out in the hallway and Hemingway started barking from downstairs. "Damn dogs!" He muttered and I laughed and Pogo came running in the room. "And cat."

"So are you okay now?" I asked him.

"As close as I'm ever going to get. I think I need to talk to Pete again, maybe next time I won't freak out on him and actually listen to what he has to say," He said and I nodded.

"That might be a good idea," I told him chuckling. "So, every things okay between you and me, right?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, we're cool. You were right," He said.

"So you don't love me anymore?" I asked and he smiled.

"Like a brother. Anyway, if we ended up dating again, we'd probably find a way to fuck it up and screw the band up. We both seem to have shitty luck in relationships."

"Yeah, but my luck has seemed to taken a bit of a turn. So has yours," I told him.

"Yeah. Cali is amazing. And no mine hasn't, I'm right back to where I started."

"It doesn't have to stay that way," I told him and he nodded.

"God, I just realized how tired I am," He said yawning suddenly and I nodded.

"I know, and it's like three-thirty in the morning. I think it's beddy by time, Ryry," I told him getting up and stripping out of my shirt and jeans.

"Where are you sleeping?" He asked me and I shrugged.

"I was gonna sleep in here, but if you want me to, I can sleep on the couch," I said grabbing my clothes up and getting ready to leave.

"No, it's fine. You can stay. I just thought maybe you'd be uncomfortable since-"

"No, I'm not gonna be uncomfortable. Are you?" I asked and he shook his head. "Then let's go to bed."

He giggled as we crawled into the warm bed. He moved his body close to mine and snuggled into my arms.

"Are you still comfortable? Or do you want me to move?" He asked.

"Ryan, quit being paranoid and go to sleep. I'm fine," I told him and I felt him relax.

"'Night, Bren."

"Good night, Ryan. I love you," I told him and he giggled.

"I love you, too."