Going Alone

“Hey Jack?” I asked, “Is Alex talking to you?”

He put down the candy bar he was eating, “Kinda, why?”

“Well it’s just weird not talking to him, you know?” I sipped on my Starbucks Italian soda.

He studied me for a moment before wrapping his candy up. The Starbucks was unusually loud and busy for a Thursday morning. Jack drummed his fingers on the table for a few seconds, then sighed. Nervously, I sipped my soda.

“He asked about you yesterday.”

I played it cool, “Oh, what’d he say?”

“Well, it was the first time he’s talked to me in like a week. He asked if you were a good fuck, since ‘it’s so obvious’ that we get it on.” He air-quoted.

“Oh.” I stirred the whip cream into the pink liquid.

“I said that it doesn’t matter.” He shrugged, quickly pressing his extra-foam, no-whip, venti gingerbread latte to his lips.

I let out a cynical chuckle, “I does to him. Doesn’t he get some like everyday.”

“Four days a week.” Jack mumbled, looking out the window.

“Don’t date me.” I quickly said, “Don’t even ask me out.”

“What?”

“Don’t ask me out. I don’t want to date you.” I replied, “You're going to get too attached.”

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Push forward, pull back. Push forward, twist to the left and pull back. The vacuum lines left in my plush carpet soothed my need to clean. I danced around to Fall Out Boy’s “A Little Less Like Sixteen Candles…” as I picked up Bagel’s hair and other debris. I got out the hose attachment, then shoved the corner piece on that, and started sucking up the dirt that as accumulated in the corners of my living room. I had 7 weeks left to get this house baby-proof and spotless.

“Mae!” Jack pounded on my door.

“It’s open!” I called back, sucking up a spider carcass.

“Why are you cleaning?” He asked, plopping onto my couch.

“I have 7 weeks left.”

“Shit son, that’s so close!”

I stopped my task and turned around to him, “I know.”

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“Can you at least talk to him?” I whined, “He needs to know!”

“No.” Jack said simply, slipping on his coat.

“Please?” I whined again, “Just do this one thing for me?”

“Mae, no. Alex will get super mad, okay? He’s finally started talking to me again.”

We were fighting about whether or not to tell Alex about my birthing plan. I think that Alex should at least be told the information, so he can decide if he wants to show up or not. Jack, on the other hand, thinks that if he brings it up, Alex would somehow freak out and go into hiding. Right.

“Can you give him a note then?”

“Why don’t you just mail it to my house?”

“Ugh, fine. Goodbye Jack.” I said monotonously.

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Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

“Good! Now let’s move into Warrior II pose.”

I carefully watched my yoga instructor transition into the pose and mimicked her. Left foot in front, arms up. My mat was sticking to my bare, sore feet.

“Breathe.” The instructor calmed us.

I looked around the room. Half of the women were very pregnant, while the other half were just barely showing. Most of them were wearing thick sweatpants and a pull over hoodie, trying to beat the January cold. I stripped down my tank-top half an hour ago. Yoga was kicking my ass.

“Okay, last pose before meditation. Let’s get into cat and cow.”

Slowly, I lowered myself down to my knees and then planted my hands on my mat. I spread my knees apart and began arching my back up, then inverting it as far as I could. I was undoubtedly the youngest person in here. The first time I got here, everyone looked at me as if I had the wrong Saturday yoga class, then they noticed my stomach. Funny, discrimination doesn’t change no matter where you go.

“Okay, let’s meditate!”

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“Oh my god.” Jack breathed, I could tell he was running.

“What?” I asked, trying to put my yoga mat into my car without dropping the phone or my water bottle.

“Alex just got your letter.”

“Wow, the postal service here is fast, it only took two days to get there.” I commented, “Wait, why are you running?”

“Alex is super pissed. Like I said.” If he wasn’t running, he’d be bragging.

“Why?”

“Well, his sex toy saw the letter before they got it on and she left, so Alex has a major case of blue balls. Second, I laughed my ass off when I found out. Third…” He gasped for air, “If he finds me, I am so dead.”