Interviews From Hell

Xenophobe: "Ryro!"

Ryan Ross stands in the doorway. "What's going on?"

Xenophobe: "No, what are you doing here?"

Ryan: "Where's Cassadee?"

Xenophobe: "I knocked her out. Hence, I'm standing on the table, bleeding like a maniac. Patrick, why are you crying?"

Patrick: "I'm not the only one, okay? William's crying too!"

William: "Why is everyone so violent?"

Oliver Sykes from Bring Me the Horizon walks in. "Hey, I forgot my comb."

Xenophobe: "GO AWAY!"

Joe Jonas climbs out of the closet. "Hero! Micky! Stop hurting Jake!"

Zygote: "Joe--"

Fall Out Boy Joe stands. "There can only be ONE Joe!" he pounces on the Jonas brother.

Xenophobe: "Be careful, JoeTroh! He's armed!"

Patrick: "Xena, get down from the table!"

Xenophobe: "The floor is made of lava!"

Alex G. and Alex L. jump onto the table.

Gabe and William jump onto the table.

Pete and Andy jump onto the table.

Gerard Way falls from the ceiling, onto the table.

The table collapses.

Patrick: "That's IT, Xena! We're going home!"

Xenophobe: "Patrick! What is the matter?!"

Patrick: "I have a confession, Xena..."

The rest of DBSK walk in.

Xiah: "FALL OUT BOY!"

The four musicians look at the doorway to find Max and Xiah standing.

Xiah: "We have bones to pick with you."

Joe stands up. "Bring it on!"

Patrick: "No!"

William takes Patrick's shoulder. "It's okay. I'll take care of her."

Patrick punches William in the face. "No you will NOT!"

Gabe pulls William away. "Hey, Patrick! Don't you dare!"

Patrick: "I already DID!"

Andy pounces on Xiah.

Patrick: "Nooo!"

Pete jumps on Max's back. "Take back what you said!"

Max falls backwards.

Xenophobe: "I'm tired. Gabe, am I bleeding?"

Gerard: "Holy shit. Xena, there is blood squirting from your neck."

Joe: "You should get that checked out."

William faces Hero. "We meet again... Asian Twin."

Hero: "Bring it on... White Twin."

Skellington: "Oh my gahhh! William and Hero are twins! Do you see this, Xena?"

Xenophobe hugs them both. "You guys are adorable! Aw, guys--"

Bill: "YOU GUYS! WHAT ARE WE DOING?!" he shouts.

The room freezes.

Bill: "I thought we were supposed to be about togetherness. What is wrong with us? I thought we were all friends. Can't we all just get along? Can't we-- Skellington, you bastard, you stole my wallet!"

Skellington runs around the room, and Bill starts to chase him.

Hero and Micky join in.

Max and Pete cuddle on the floor.

Max: "What will Ashlee say?"

Pete: "Shh. Ash isn't here right now."

Xenophobe's eyes are half-shut, she is pale and faint. "Bill's right, guys." she leans on Gerard.

Gerard pushes her off.

Xenophobe: "We need to help each other out. Pete's got the right idea. U-Know's got the right idea. Even the Alexes have the right idea. Lez be frienz." she attempts to lean on the table, but forgets it has collapsed, so she falls.

The Alexes come to her rescue. "Xena, get up."

Xenophobe: "I see Lady Gaga. Lady!... C'mere!"

Lady Gaga stands in front of her. "You look wonderful, honey!"

Gabe pulls Xenophobe from the floor. "You're going to the hospital."

Ryan Ross: "No one helped Cassadee."

Gabe: "Honestly, Ryro, I forgot you were here."

Ryan: "I did too."

William and Hero hug.

William: "I'm sorry, Hero. You'll always be a part of me."

Hero: "I love you, man. Let's never fight again. But you, Stump,"

Patrick: "Bring it on, Hero!"

Xenophobe leans on Patrick. "Patrick, no. Patrick... no."

Patrick: "Xena, I love you. But you need to stay out of this."

Xenophobe: "Since when do you love me?!"

William: "Since when do you love her?"

Gabe: "Yeah!"

Hero: "Elaborate!"

Ryan: "Explain!"

Brendon: "Justify your statement!"

Patrick: "Fine, Xena. I am Patrick..." he removes his hat. "...But I'm also your boss!"

Xenophobe stops bleeding. "Really?"

Skellington: "Patrick, you'd better be lying."

Patrick: "...No!"

A fountain of blood squirts from Xenophobe's neck and she collapses.

Skellington: "Xena!"

Bill: "Skellington!"

Gabe: "William!"

William: "Hero!"

Hero: "Ryro!"

Ryan: "Brendon!"

Brendon: "Tyra!"

Tyra Banks: "Me!"

Tyranny and U-Know put their clothes back on.

Tyranny: "What'd we miss?"

Skellington: "Anyone else in the mood for greasy Chinese food?"

William: "Why not."