Living with a Heartache

Alex’s POV

“Alex?” I heard Brian’s whisper; I knew he could see me sitting up. I knew he could probably hear me if I cried. I wanted to tear my face away, rid myself of all human emotions. My heart was scorching, my blood cold. I never could forget the iciness of Mum’s voice as she questioned my father. It was so cold, it hurt to hear it. And I could never forget the lack of emotion that Dad’s words contained as he said he wanted the divorce.

But I couldn’t cry. I didn’t want too. I couldn’t cry. I know crying would just make things worse for Mum. She’s been through a lot, all the emotional turmoil bubbling inside her. I know crying would make it worse for her, I had to man up! But there was no escape from the immense sense of tragedy that engulfed me.

I didn’t know what to do, so I just lay back down and buried myself under the covers and watched the rays of sunlight gradually seep in through the curtain holes.

Brian's POV

I didn’t get a wink of sleep yesterday. In fact I was looking forward when the sun started rising. I couldn’t fall asleep in such bad vibes. I knew everybody would be in a bad mood in the morning; there would be awkward silences, few words, and maybe less music? I wasn’t sure how Alex’s family dealt with these things, but with my mum and dad. It usually consists of Mum banging the kitchen tables a lot, Dad suddenly disappearing in the garden to play golf.

In short, I was dreading the morning. But I hated staying awake in the dark. But most of all, my heart went out to Alex because there were no tears and no signs of grief. I knew she was keeping it in, and it would slowly eat her from the inside. Why did I have to end up living with such a heartache?

Alex's POV

I fell asleep eventually, only to wake up an hour later. When I pried my eyes open, I expected to see Brian still snoozing in bed, but surprisingly he was up and about. I got up, and half walked half groped myself to the toilet. Only I couldn’t see very clearly and ended up walking straight into Brian who happened to walk out from the guest toilet in the other side of the floor. I let out a loud ‘oof’ and almost fell flat on the floor if Brian didn’t reach out halfway and grabbed my arm.

I stared at him dazed, as groggy images cleared up and I saw him with a worried look on his face, his hair still wet as he looked at me. I immediately straightened up and whacked his hand away.

“Sorry, tired that’s all,” I mumbled, half hoping he wouldn’t bring anything from yesterday up.

“It’s okay,” he grinned (a nice grin needless to say).

Slightly awakened I made my way to the bath room, feeling a little out of place. I wonder where the sound of Dad’s singing was. Then it dawned on me, he was probably gone. I still couldn’t believe it. Not that I wanted too.

I decided to shake away the thoughts with my daily morning routine. I brushed my teeth, took a shower and threw on a purple shirt with a chrome cube printed on it and re-wore my jeans from yesterday (hey, it’s time we started saving the Earth). With that I clomped downstairs. Before I entered the kitchen I heard Mum talking to Brian who was already polishing off his breakfast.

“Brian honey, what you hear last night, I’m truly sorry,”

“What? What happened last night?”

“Y…You mean you didn’t hear anything?”

“I’m a pretty sound sleeper Mam”

I smiled to myself, grateful toward Brian for playing a fool. I shouldered my bag and walked into the kitchen.

“Be back for dinner okay Alex?” asked Mum, I was shocked at how everything seemed to regain back to its original state, even though Mum’s eyes seemed to quiver ever so slightly. I nodded and walked out of the house with Brian trailing next to me.