Living with a Heartache

Brian’s POV

“What did I tell you man?” said Sam as he spun his pen and kicked up his leg.

I didn’t reply him for a moment because I was thinking and wondering, was Alex the one who really sang that cover of ‘How you love me now’ by Hey Monday? She sounded unlike her own no-care attitude. She sounded more than that usual bland person I thought of her to be, she seemed to be genuinely at home, comfortable and thus delivering the song with much gusto. Her voice sounded relaxed, without a worry in the world- but it also brought out the cheekiness that resided in her. Apart from her voice, the guitar and the drums were spot-on, and everyone sounded like they were having fun.

Of course it drew people in, there were about 15 people pressing their ears against the wall, whispering to each other, smiling and dancing a little. Apart from these people, when the song processed, people in the nearby classes stopped in what they were doing at listened to them. Their music was like honey to this music-starved school, attracting throngs of people to savor their originality and fun loving side.

“Brian?” asked Sam uncertainly as he thumped my head.

“Oh sorry, yeah. You were right, they do sound awesome,”

“No, I was talking about the audience. But yeah. They are good. Wonder who’s the crooner,” he replied.

“Isn’t it Alex from your literary class?” I answered him, significantly remembered that both of them reenacted a mediocre scene from Shakespeare’s Macbeth.

“Really? Oh okay,” murmured Sam as he continued his work. Then, we fell into silence again.

Suddenly, I heard a crash of the cymbal from the practice room and the pushing of the door.

“Hey, Pat. I’m going to get a drink,”

“Yeah, get me a coke too okay?”

The door swung open and stood ajar while Alex turned to talk to Patrick. Immediately, the crowd dispersed like a flock of birds, leaving the walkway and everywhere in silence. It was as if no one ever danced or sang along to their music, everything was just the same- the habitual routine that went on after school every day. As Alex stepped out, I suddenly had a urge to talk to her. I don’t know exactly what spurred this urge, but it just flickered in me. As she headed to the canteen, I excused myself from Sam who was doing his work.

I trailed after her, noticing that she always kept her head downcast on the ground, only looking up when she needed to say hi to someone. Till she got to the vending machine and she inserted her coins inside and got 2 cokes was when I finally got the chance to catch up and talk to her. Boy was she a fast walker.

“Hey,” I breathed.

“Why are you talking like that?” Alex looked at me. I couldn’t help notice that there was a hint of amusement in her eyes when she saw me. Awkwardly, I cleared my throat and continued.

“You done with your band practice?”

“Well, we still have some songs to patch up, maybe half an hour more?” she answered. Not making any eye contact with me. Then again, she rarely made eye contact with guys.

“Oh, damn. Half an hour of that racket, I won’t be able to last that long!” I joked. When inside I was going: Yes! More songs!

She looked at me accusingly and pulled my ear. I’m tall, so for her to be able to pull my ear, she had to reach up quite a bit.

“Hey, I didn’t make you come,” she snapped.

“Okay okay. Can’t you take a joke? Anyway, while you were playing your first song, you had quite an audience,” I tried to change the topic. She’s so physical, sometimes, I can’t stand it. I leaned back and walked along with her, matching her strides with mine. She turned to me in disbelief as she rolled her eyes and snorted at my comment.

“Audience? Nice work there Brian, but I’m not falling for your crap anytime soon,” she scoffed as she managed a little smile on her face. I found myself smiling back, as I shrugged and told her that if she didn’t believe me, it wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t understand why she was so, so not confident of herself? She had a great voice! A great band that produced great music, why was she always so insecure?

We walked in silence for a moment or so. When she suddenly sighed and looked at me.

“Sorry for being a bitch,” she confided. I was initially shocked, I didn’t know she was that insecure.

“What?” was all I could manage then.

“Look, I take a long time to warm up against people. Especially guys, so I can’t help it if I sound mean and rude. And especially if you’re you know, staying with me now,” she hushed her voice at the last part into a small whisper. I was still recovering from the mild aftershock of her first statement.

“Well, I see the tough girl does have a soft side after all,” I chuckled. She was about to smack my arm when she rethought her actions and seemed to hesitate a while.

“You know, you don’t have to man up to me,” I jokingly added. She smiled a sarcastic smile at me and then proceeded to smack me on my right arm. I winced as the smack left my arm stinging, but she had a good laugh at it. We shot comments back and forth until we reached the practice room. She stopped outside the classroom as I walked in.

“Wait a little longer Brian, or if you’re afraid of your ears bursting, you can leave,” she called out. I turned back to her and grinned. She smiled back, then her smile fell short as she hastily turned around and left the class. I wonder what that was about. Then, I turned back to face Sam, who had somehow managed to accomplish his homework in that period of time. He was staring at the doorway, right at the spot which Alex had walked out on.

“So, Alex huh,”

“Shut up man, you know nothing. We were just talking,” Sam gave me a skeptic look, and smiled one of his famous smirks and leaned in to help me with my work.