I'm Feeling Love Sick But I Don't Mind

At the end of the day, Joe gave me a ride home from school with Nick and Macy. Joe got in the drivers and I got the passangers, Nick and Macy in the back. I still felt a little unsure about all the people being on my bad side now, but the better part of me kept saying to not worry about it, and that it'll all get better when it's farther into the week.
"Everyone, Joe is driving. We're all risking our life here, so brace yourself," Nick said, mostly to Macy and I. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh, shut up Nick," Joe said, starting the car, and taking my hand with his free one. We dropped Macy off first, then me. I gave Joe a kiss, got out, and went inside. Jeez, it's the first time I've had homework in a long time. Well, better get started.

About two weeks later, I was truly hated by a lot of people. Joe didn't seem to mind, he just ignored it since none of the guys were bugging him, but girls were still giving him and me a hard time. But the pressure was more on me. I try to ignore it, to say that I was in love with Joe, and nothing will mess that up. But it was getting harder and harder to say that. I was even in the media! Can you believe that?! Someone saw me and Joe in his car when he was driving me home, and now it's in People Magazine. I'm Joe "mystery girl". Another one came out of us at the mall together shopping. Now, it was getting out of hand. Random people are even telling me they hate me. It's crazy.
I know I'm just not used to this, but I don't know if I can deal with this anymore. On Friday, Joe noticed I wasn't really acting like myself when he was driving me home. So, he dropped off Macy at her house, and Nick at home so he could talk to me alone. When Nick was inside, he turned to me.
"How about we go on a little date tomorrow night?" He asked, smiling behind his white Ray Ban's.
"I don't know, Joe," I said simply, looking down at my Converse I was wearing.
"Why not?" I heard the smile in his voice go away.
"Because...I don't know if I can do this anymore Joe," I explained, sighing.
"Do what?" He asked, confused.
"This. Me and you. It's...it's getting harder than I thought."
"What? Is it all the people being mean to you? You just have to ignore it, Abby," He said, getting upset now.
"What do you think I've been doing all this time?! It's getting harder to ignore now!"
"Abby, you can't break up with me. I love you."
"I love you, too. But..."
"Then there's no buts! If you love me, we'll find a way to get through this," Joe said, calming down a little.
I sighed, and stayed quiet.
"Fine. Break up with me then." And then the calm went away, and he was just angry now.
"Joe, I don't want to break up with you!"
"Then what are we doing?!"
"I don't even know anymore!" I exclaimed, getting out and slamming the door. Next thing I knew I heard the window roll down.
"Call me when you figure it out!" Joe shouted back.

This all felt too familiar. Feeling annoyed and like I hate Joe. It was an old feeling, and I haven't felt it in a long time. But this isn't what I wanted to happen. All I wanted was to have a calm, explaining conversation with him on what we were going to do about all of this going on. And please, God, don't have someone see us arguing and have it end up in People Magazine again.
But I stomped inside anyway, thankful no one was home because I could feel brand new tears perch on my eyes as I slammed the front door shut behind me. They were about to make their way down my cheeks when I was jogging up the stairs and into my room while I threw my backpack onto the floor. Now, they were ready. And I started crying, too. I took off my shoes and laid on my bed to bury my face into my pillow.
I cried for a while until I brought myself up to do my homework and at least try to act normal.

I went the whole weekend without talking to Joe. And it was torture. I could barely go an hour without talking to Joe, what makes him think I can go a whole two days without hime?! It was horrible. I was even confused if we were still together or not. He wouldn't answer my texts, and all I did was talk to Macy on Saturday and stay at home with Mom while Dad went to a friends house to work on some car. Whatever.
On Sunday, I thought about going to Church to get a way for Joe to talk to me, but I decided that was pretty wrong. So I stayed home again that day and moped. It practically drove me crazy!

On Monday, I got ready for school in a hopeful mood. Maybe today things will get better. Gosh, I hope so. I got my clothes on, got ready, and went to school. Like normal, Macy was there and a few other people.
"Hey," I smiled, sitting across from her.
"Hey. Are you okay?" She asked.
"Yeah, fine," I nodded. "Are the guys here?"
"Yeah, I saw them, they went to the lockers again," She explained. "But...Joe didn't even look at me."
I sighed, we'll see about that...hopefully... I thought. Then, I heard voices coming our way. They were Nick and Joe's voices. I turned around and saw them coming to Macy and I.
"Joe, can--" I started, but him and Nick walked right past me as if we didn't even exsist and carried on with their conversation. Well, Nick looked at me, and I think his eyes were pleading, but then he looked at Macy.
"Hey, Macy," He smiled weakly.
"Hi Nick!" She eagerly said, waving.
I was just shocked, and dumbfounded.
When they were gone, I looked back at Macy. "He didn't even look at me..."
"I'm sorry, Abby. Maybe it'll get better. If it doesn't, it's not the end of the world," She tried to coax.
"But I love him..." I sighed.
"Don't worry about it, Abby," She said.
I shrugged, and looked around at the people coming in. All the same people, and when they saw me, I could tell they felt their day was getting better because I wasn't with Joe. Ugh, it made me sick.
When the bell rang, I went to first period alone. People kept asking me if Joe and I broke up, but I ignored them. One, because I didn't know the answer. And two, because it bugged the heck out of me.
In second period, I waited for Joe to come. When he did, he was with Jacob. Good, maybe he put in a good word for me. Jacob came to his regular seat in front of me, and Joe ignored me again and went to his seat. Ugh! When the bell rang for class to start, I had a hard time concentrating again. I would look over at Joe, and feel sad that he was acting like I was kicked out of his life.

I went to P.E. with Macy, but felt sad. I changed into my dress out clothes, and went out to bleachers for class to start. Then, I saw Joe walk out of guys dressing room. He was wearing a white beater and some basketball shorts, and it looked so hot on him. While I was watching him, he walked right past me. Okay, that's it.
"Joe!" I yelled, getting up front the bleachers and stomping over to him. He acted like he didn't even hear me. "Joseph Adam Jonas!" I yelled again and grabbed his arm. I almost had a whiplash when he spun around to me and stood over me.
"What." He said sternly, it wasn't a question. And frankly, the way he looked kind of scared me.