Baby Give Me A Break

Finally, around the corner, I get full view of… Nothing? I could have sworn that there was some sort of struggle in the den. But I see nothing, nothing at all. Not even Brendon or Ryan. I did a spy move, I had seen done in movies, and returned to the bewildered Miranda. She is still gaping at the dagger in her hand and blinking rapidly. I shake her out of her trance, now that she is fully facing me; I see a look new to me, something that is terrifying. Her beautiful blue eyes are full of unfallen tears, her face is distorted in a way that makes it hard to recognize her, and her perfectly formed nostrils are about as flared out as they can go. So of course, I’m bewildered, my best friend is having a complete panic attack over a dagger and I have this strange feeling that I missed something either really important or really obvious. I’m in the act of picking up all of her brain pieces when I hear that same god-awful scream but this time I have a feeling that it’s just in my head. I turn around and see Pete Wentz in a bear outfit doing the chicken dance with Opra. Then everything goes fuzzy like in the movies when the main character is waking up from a dream. The next thing I know Brendon is in my lap screaming like a little girl.

“What the hell!?” I yell over Brendon’s shillish girl screams. Completely confused from the rapid change of scene. More and more startled from sleep I start to become more and more aware of my surroundings.

“SPIDER!!” Brendon is screaming at the top of his beautiful singing lungs.

“Brendon, BRENDON!” I yell. As I finally get Brendon’s attention. “You have a beautiful voice, but please save it for singing, your screaming sucks! Now what the hell are you doing up at this hour?” I said as I noticed it was only 4:00 a.m.

“There is a sp-sp-spider on me!” he shrieks again.

“Where? Let me beat the shit out of it for waking me up.” I said. I soon located the fucking arachnid and fell back asleep. This time I dreamt nothing at all.