Cold As You

When I woke up in the morning I was considerably confused by the events of last night, but decided a shower could do nothing but help. Hopping out of bed, I grabbed the baggy clothes I wore around the house and then made my way to my bathroom. After washing away a bit of my troubles, I felt better and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a blue fluffy towel around my body and slowly walking towards the sink. Just as I was about to put the toothbrush in my mouth however, I heard some shuffling from outside the door.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I cracked the door open up a bit and stuck my head outside only to see a mop of brown curls rustling through my cabinets in the kitchen adjacent from my bathroom. He must have heard me because he turned around and smiled widely, holding a box of Lucky Charms in his hand.

"You have better breakfast than me," he said in a child like manner.

I shut my door and continued to brush my teeth and get dressed. Once my hair was brushed and I was ready, I left the bathroom and walked to the kitchen where Sidney was now sitting at the small table and eating his bowl of ceral. "It's a shame you got dressed," he said, milk dripping from the sides of his mouth. I grimaced and rolled my eyes simultaneously, he looked too ridiculous not to.

"Do you knock anymore?" I asked him, grabbing an apple and a knife to cut it up.

"Not since you gave me a key," he smiled widely. I laughed lightly this time, carefully cutting the granny smith apple into eight slices.

"So what's up?" I asked, turning around once I had finished chopping the apple. Leaning my back against the counter I stuck a slice into my mouth, taking a small bite and chewing as I waited for an answer.

"Wanna be in the parade with me?" Sidney asked me, nonchalantly. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him incredulously.

"What?" I asked as soon as I had swallowed the apple.

"You know, sit in the back of the car with me and Flower. Vero will be there too," he said, referring to Marc-Andre Flurey's girlfriend.

"I know what you mean," I clarified with a slight eye roll. "I just don't understand why."

"Maybe because you're my best friend...?"

"I guess I'd have to think about it," I shrugged awkwardly.

"It's not that big of a deal," Sidney assured me. "You just have to sit there with Vero and look pretty like you always do," he smiled. I looked down at what I was wearing- a pair of Sidney's old (huge) tattered sweat pants, and one of my brother's college lacrosse tee-shirts. "You don't look bad," he insisted, because though I had said nothing he knew exactly what I was thinking. I snorted and shook my head.

"I don't know Sidney," I mumbled, taking a bite of another piece of apple. I chewed it silently and gazed out into space.

"Why? It's seriously not a big deal at all," he persisted. I laughed to myself at this one.

Sidney always had a way of making the things he did seem like not such a big deal. He was always so nonchalant about things that it drove me up the wall most of the time. Him asking me to be in the parade with him may not have seemed like such a big deal (to him at least), but I knew for a fact that the other guys who were bringing guests were bringing their parents or their wives, girlfriends, or kids. Now you tell me where I would fit in that group.

I mean, how awkward would that be when people asked who I was? I’m sure people would automatically assume I was his girlfriend and then I’d have to listen to my heart go through a blender every time he explained we were just friends. Oh yes, the very best of friends since we were kids! How adorable we were? Oh and guess what?! Our fathers are best friends too? Now isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever heard?!

Seriously, I’d rather do anything than have to listen to the story of mypathetic unrequited love story friendship with the hockey phenomenon for hours on end. Being in that parade with him would only take me a step closer to just completely ending up life. Okay, maybe that’s a little extreme, but you get the idea.

"You don't think that's awkward?" I asked him finally, deciding that it was an appropriate enough question. Because we had known each other forever, we didn't keep secrets from each other. Oh, besides the one about me being in love with him. But you know, whatever.

"How so?" He asked, placing his spoon in his now empty bowl.

"The rest of the teams bringing their families and girlfriends and shit," I shrugged. "I don't exactly fit that description now do I?"

As much as I yearned to be Sidney's girlfriend, I had come to accept it was never going to happen. Him asking me something like this just made it worse; It made it sting more to know he would never be mine.

Sidney laughed at this, "Please, I've been single for four years now, you're the closest to a girlfriend I have," he told me, catching me completely off guard. "My Mom and Dad are gonna be there too, they're just not riding in the truck with me. Come on, you know Vero would love having you there," he added, just to make me feel bad. I bit my lip and weighed my options though I already knew what I was going to say. I was going to that stupid parade and I would sit on that back of that goddamn truck like he wanted me to because I knew it would make him happy. And I wouldn't be responsible for making him upset.

Because no matter how many times Sidney Crosby inadvertently broke my heart, I would never break his.