Guilty Feet Have Got No Rhythm

I am not a good person. I am not innocent. I lied. I cheated. I hurt people. I hurt myself. I destroyed relationships. I stole money from my mother. I put both hers and my reputation in danger. I broke the law. I was horrible. But I changed.

I turned my life around, actually going to college and spending my days studying and preparing for the future. I made friends, and I steered clear of boys and Massachusetts completely, as well as Maryland. I changed all my numbers, emails, everything. I cut myself off from anything that resembled that summer, keeping it all locked in a box that now lived in my mother’s attic. I forced myself to become a better person, maybe in just the hopes of righting the wrongs of the past.

So when Claudia called me at two o’clock in the morning, sounding as though the Summer of Hamilton had never happened, I was floored.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you up? I completely forgot about the time change!” she apologized, her voice chipper.

“Claudia? Is…” I gulped, licking my dry lips before continuing, “Is that really you?”

“Of course! Were you expecting someone else?”

“I haven’t talked to you since…what, senior year?” I prompted in a whisper, climbing from my bed and tiptoeing past Dakota’s side.

“It’s been forever, sure. Look, I was wondering…how do you feel about coming out here.”

“What? You mean, me coming out to L.A.?” I stumbled into the kitchen and turning on the light switch, glaring at the brightness.

“Well…yeah, L.A. Do you think you can make it?”

“Now? Claudia, this is like, really short notice…I mean, how long do you need me—L.A.? Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious! Look, I really need you out here and I need you out here by Friday, if you can make it. This is important to me, and I’m going to fill you in later because I have to go; a shipment just came in. Just…do me a favor and come out here, alright?”

“I’m not just going to clear my schedule for you! I have work, and I have friends, and I can’t just pack up and leave everything for a favor you ask me out of nowhere! I need to know more than just ‘come out here by Friday’! I mean, that’s in two days!”

“Jesus Christ, just…hang on for a few and I’ll tell you everything you need to know, alright?”

I could hear mute voices as I sat down at our kitchen table, tugging on of Leroy’s jackets on over my shoulders. Yawning loudly, I dropped my head to my arms, closing my tired eyes. Lifting back up my heavy head, I moved towards the cabinet and grabbed a box of tea. Five minutes later, I had myself a mug of peach tea and an ex friend of mine calling me back to life.

“Yeah, Claudia, I’m here,” I yawned, moving from the kitchen to the balcony in the hopes that cold air would wake me up.

“You do you know what Warped Tour is, right? Well, it’s this giant summer festival-slash-concert thing that my boyfriend and his band are on. Anyways, he convinced me to create and shit-load of band merch to sell and to promote my own designs, which I did. And now I’m realizing that I’m this Hollywood nobody hoping to make it big in a cross-country tour where no one gives a shit about color scheme or how freaking hard I worked for this, okay? So I’m pulling the famous friend card.”

“A festival? Those only last like, two days, right? I can do that, yeah, two days is totally cool with me.”

“Here’s the deal…I’m going to need you for the entire summer. That’s how long it lasts: May 27th to August 20th. And I’m selling for the entire tour.”

“Shit Claudia, that’s…that’s all summer! I mean, Jesus that’s…”

“You know what? Forget I asked. Seriously, I’m just…I’m so tired and I just…never mind, it’s way to much to ask, I’m sorry. Also, sorry I woke you up.”

“Hey, don’t let the next time I hear from you be four years in the future,” I teased. “Look, good luck with this summer, and I wish I could help, but—”

“Just forget about it, it’s fine,” she sighed. “Thanks anyways.”

Without another word, she hung up, leaving me listening to the empty repetition of dial tone. Groaning, I plopped down in one of the lawn chairs placed on our balcony, staring out into the darkened city. The lights lit up the sky, creating a false sense of daylight, while cars blurred across the black streets. New York really was gorgeous, I thought.

Sipping my tea absentmindedly, I curled up against the chair, watching the world wake up and waiting for my decision.

[&cut]

I was out of my apartment by six, having spent the entire night thinking. I left a haphazard note for the girls, quickly changed into a pair of shorts and an old tee-shirt, and was out of the apartment like the hounds of hell were chasing after me.

I spent hours walking around the city, gathering throngs of paparazzi and tourists eager to meet their first celebrity. I signed autographs, took group photos, and had to wave to countless video cameras. All while suffering through the attention, all I could think of was how perfect the Summer of Hamilton was.

I was alone, with no one but my friends and a half-washed reputation infamous for me being me, for me being the one girl Alex couldn’t woo. I was just plain old Holly—or Henry—and I actually found myself missing that.

When the cameras were gone and the crowds disintegrated, I headed back to the apartment, pulling my phone from my pocket. Scrolling through my call list, I pressed talk and listened for her voice.

“Claudia, it’s me. I’ll be there.”