Under Jersey Skies

Gerard's POV

I hadn’t moved from my bed since I’d gotten home on Saturday night. I was too miserable to do anything, Jessica was gone, and if she’d just left town, I would have gotten over it. But this was different, she was dead.

I knew the school was having a service today to pay their respects to her, and I would have gone, but nothing could motivate me to get out of bed today. My mind still hadn’t come to terms with the whole thing. But I knew that never again would I see Jessica smile, never again would I hold her in my arms, never again would I kiss her. It was killing me.

It seemed like life was throwing every ounce of bad luck my way, pissing on me and laughing. Seeing how far it could push me before I totally lost it. My Dad beating me, my breakup with Jessica, Jackie being swiped by Frank before I’d gotten a chance to tell her how I felt, and now, Jessica’s death. I growled to myself when I felt a wet trail of tears down my cheek.

Fine.

If life wanted to see how much it could throw at me before I snapped, let it have it’s stupid way.

I got up from my bed, and went into my bathroom, rummaging through the back of the cupboard behind the mirror until I found what I was looking for. That single tiny piece of metal that could ease the pain a little. I snatched it up, and sat down on the floor. I turned it over in my hands a few times, thinking it over.

Fuck it.

I pressed the blade to my wrist, and silently cursed myself for whimpering at the pain as I slowly drew it across. A small trail of blood began to ooze from the cut, but I just let it go. I breathed in deeply, feeling a kind of peace, as if my worries were leaving me with the blood.

I sat there watching it for a little while, before getting up and cleaning the wound, and wrapping a bandage around my wrist. That was just what I’d needed, a release, my own private way of controlling my pain…