Under Jersey Skies

I’d left Gerard’s a few hours ago, after making him promise me that he would try to be strong, and show up at school tomorrow. At the present I was looking through some old photo albums, frozen snapshots from my youth. I feel like an old person explaining it like that, but it was true. Once my mother had left me the first time, part of my childhood had been ripped away, and nothing could undo the damage that had left upon me.

There was a photo of my mother and I at my grandfather’s ranch. She used to take me up there every second weekend to ride Grandpa’s horses. That had ended once he died. I never did find out what happened to that place after he passed, as my mother had her sights set on other things, and she had no other siblings to inherit it.

Christmas time, ten years of age. Me sitting there on my father’s lap; smiling at the camera. A photo beside it of my mother and I playing princesses and fairies with the dress ups she had bought me. Another shot of me asleep on her lap, donning a Santa hat.

My 12th birthday, a year before Mum left. Long gone were the dress ups and pigtails, they had been replaced by stylish tops and freshly dyed brown streaks. I could see a CD on the table; Hilary Duff – Metamorphosis. Oh how I had changed since then. You would never find Hilary in my CD collection anymore, unless it was covered in dust that is.

Yeah, we’d had a happy life when I was young. Mother, Father, Daughter, the whole “Happy Family” thing. But there was no way we could go back to that now. Mum had thrown that chance away when she’d left. Even with her sudden return, there was no way in hell I was going to forgive her, to pretend like it had never happened, that she hadn’t missed out on three of the most important years of my life.

I heard a knock at my bedroom door.

“Come in”
“Hey baby” my mother’s husky voice spoke.
“Could you not call me that? Please?”
“Sorry Jackie, I guess I’m just not used to you all…” she looked at me sadly for a moment. “Grown up”
“Yeah well, who’s fault’s that?” I smirked.
“Jackie…” she sighed, though didn’t retaliate.

She sat herself down on my bed, and noticed the old photo albums strewn across it. She flicked through a few, smiling at the classic memories, frozen in time.

“I remember that day” she smiled, stroking a photo of the three of us (Dad, Me and her) at the beach. “You got so badly sun burnt, you were like my little lobster girl” she chuckled.

I simply grunted in response.

“Oh god I miss that place” she smiled, staring at the photograph from the ranch. “Shame they had to close it down once your grandfather passed away” she sighed.
“You could have inherited it, then I might never have had to say goodbye to Storm” I growled.

Storm was a beautiful stallion, black in colour. There was no other horse quite like him in the ranch. He’d been a bit of trouble to begin with, wild and out of control, but I had persisted and managed to tame him, and he had become like my best friend. I wondered where he was now, if he was still alive or not.

“Why do you have to make things so difficult?” my mother sighed, answering my smart remark. “We used to be so close, I just want things to go back to how they were, but you’re making that very hard for me to do”
“Try all you like, Mum. Things will never be that way again. You should have thought about that before you left. I am never going to forgive you” I growled, I could see my words hurting her, but I didn’t care, I’d stopped caring the day she’d left me, the day she’d left both of us, me and my Dad.
“We’ll just have to wait and see” she frowned, and leaned forward to stroke my face (gaining quite the evil look from me) before leaving the room.

In a fit of anger, I gathered up all of the photo albums, and walked over to my wardrobe. Growling, I wrenched the bottom drawer open, threw them all in, and slammed it shut. I turned around, and let out another angry growl.

Then something caught my eye.

Sitting on my bedside table, in a pink frame made of material that had been stuffed to make it pillow like, was a photo of myself and Jessica. My life had been so hectic the last few months, that I must have forgotten to put it away after Jess and I had stopped speaking.

I seemed like a million years ago that Gerard, myself, and the guys had found her on Danica’s roof, when she had attacked me…

Jessica was balancing on the roof’s border, a bottle swinging from her hand.

“Jess!” gasped Gerard, running over and pulling her away from the edge by her waist.
“Let me go, let go of me!” squealed Jessica, kicking and punching him.

Gerard put her down, and went to hug her.

“FUCK OFF!” she snapped, hitting his arms and pushing him away.
“Jess, no, I’m just trying to help you”
“Bullshit!”
“Jessica, I am, I love you, I’m scared for you” pleaded Gerard.
“No you don’t!” Jessica wailed.
“Yes I do!” said Gerard, choking back tears.
“No you don’t! You don’t! You want Jackie! You don’t love me”
“What? Jess, no!”
“Yes you do! You nearly kissed her! Korey told me! He saw you guys in the street when you walked her home!” snapped Jessica.
“What?” I said.
“Fuck!” said Gerard, slapping his hand to his forehead. “That was Korey Sullivan’s street!”
“Who’s Korey Sullivan?” I asked.
“Don’t ask Jackie, now’s really not the time” said Ray.
“Sorry”
“I HATE YOU!” shrieked Jessica, throwing her bottle at me.

I screamed as it just barely missed and smashed at my feet. But it didn’t end there; Jessica got up, and lunged at me, kicking me, punching me, scratching me, pulling my hair.

“YOU. FILTHY. DIRTY. BOYFRIEND STEALING SLUT! I TRUSTED YOU! YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP JACKIE JAMES!” Jessica screamed with every blow.
“JESSICA! THAT’S ENOUGH!” yelled Bob, pulling her away from me.
“NO! LET ME GO! LET ME BE! LET ME GET HER! I’LL FUCKING KILL HER!” Jessica screamed and hollered as Bob and Mikey tried to hold her down.

We heard sirens and I looked over the roof’s edge to see police cars pulling up. The next few moments seemed to play in slow motion.

A couple of cops came upstairs, they cuffed Jessica’s hands, and we followed them downstairs and out of the house. Jessica was put in the back of a padi wagon. The doors closed, the car slowly drove away…

I was long over the hate I had felt towards her after that night. Too much had happened in the last few months for me to stay mad at her. But now she was dead, I had forgiven her completely. I wasn’t going to hold a grudge against someone who physically could not make up for their mistakes now that they had died.

I walked over to my bedroom window, and looked out at the sky.

Jessica, I don’t know where you are, whether you’re down below or up above. But wherever you are, preferably the latter, I hope you’re happy now, and that all the things that troubled you have now been put to rest. May your soul rest in peace, Jessica LaTovey. You were and always will be my best friend…