Under Jersey Skies

Jackie’s POV

The moment I’d received the phone call from Frank, I had dropped everything and run to the hospital. There was no doubt Gerard’s overdose had been because of the fight between him and Frank, and I felt personally responsible considering I was the reason they had fought.

I ran straight to the emergency waiting room, where I found Frank and Mikey slumped in their chairs, their expressions grim. They looked up as I approached, and I ran forward to throw my arms around Mikey, knowing he’d be the most upset of all of us, as it was his brother in hospital.

“Is he okay?” I asked as I pulled back.
“Mhm.” Mikey nodded.
“They had to pump his stomach, but he’s gonna be alright now.” Frank explained.
“Thank god.”
“He’s been asking for you.” said Mikey.

They led me through the doors into the ward, and took me into Gerard’s room. He was propped up against his pillows, his hair was drenched in sweat, which also covered most of his face, and he was extremely pale. He looked miserable, and didn’t seem too happy about having the drip needle in his hand.

I ran to his side, and took his hand, tearing his attention away from the gruesome sight of the needle. “How could you be so stupid?” I whimpered, and tears began to escape from my eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” He spoke quietly, with voice laced with shame.
“Gerard you stupid boy.” I sighed. “I’m just glad you’re alive.” I kissed his forehead, and stroked his hair.

The curtain that closed off Gerard’s hospital room was drawn back, and a very worried looking Donna Way appeared. Her hair was a mess, and she looked like she’d been crying. She came to join me beside Gerard, and he looked up at her, shame written all over his face. She gripped his shoulder, and forced a weak smile.

“You feeling better, sweetie?” she spoke softly.
“Yeah.” Gerard exhaled. “I’m sorry, Ma.”
Donna shook her head. “Don’t be, I’m not mad.”
Gerard mirrored his mother’s smile, and at that moment I noticed who he had inherited his smile from.
“You had me really worried, baby.”
“I can imagine.” He hung his head. “I’ve been a fucking idiot, and I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not an idiot, you just messed up.” She reassured him. “I have noticed you’ve been really down lately, and I know why.”
Gerard looked back up at her, and I knew by reading his expression that we were both thinking the same thing; Did Donna know that her husband was beating his son?
“It’s because of Jessica, isn’t it?”

So she still didn’t know.

Gerard looked behind his mother’s back to me, asking with his eyes what he should say, and I just mouthed; “Yes.”
“Yeah.” He sighed, and looked down at his hands, playing with the sheet covering him.
“Oh, sweetie.” Donna exhaled, and enveloped her son in a hug. “I know it’s hard, but it’ll get easier, I promise.” She kissed his hair. “I know I haven’t been around much lately, but I promise you now, I’m going to try and be around more often.” She cupped his face in her hands. “My baby boy needs me.” She smiled.
Gerard let out a breathy laugh. “More than you know, Ma.” His eyes darted to me for a moment, and I understood what he meant. He needed his mother around to protect him from his father.
Donna turned to Frank and Mikey. “Thank you boys so much for getting him here. And you.” She turned to me. “You’ve been so good to my baby; he’d be even more of a mess without you, thank you Jackie.”
“It’s okay, Mrs. Way.” I smiled.
“Please.” She chuckled. “Call me Donna.”

A nurse came in and explained everything the hospital had done for Gerard since he’d been brought in, and told her that they’d need to keep him in overnight for observation. So Mikey, Frank and I spent the next few hours trying to cheer Gerard up and keep his mind off feeling miserable, while Donna tended to Gerard’s needs, and made sure he ate and drank to get his strength back.

“We should get going.” Frank said when the clock hit 8pm.
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m not leaving him.”
“I should stay too.” Mikey spoke.
“No, Michael.” Donna cut in. “You need to go home and rest, you’ve done enough already. Come on, get your coat, I’ll drive you home.”
“Shouldn’t Jackie go home too then?” he protested.
“No.” Gerard spoke, grabbing my hand. “I… I want her to stay.”
“You heard your brother, come on.” Donna gave Mikey another nudge, and he reluctantly walked out of the room.
Frank kissed my forehead. “I’ll see you later.” He whispered, but as he pulled away, his expression was sad. “Gerard--” he started, but Gerard cut him off.
“Frank, it’s alright man, I forgive you.”
“Thank you.” He nodded, and turned to me. “Jackie, your life is yours to live…” he trailed off and gulped. “And I’m not gonna hold you back from what makes you happy.” He turned and left the room, and I knew that was his way of saying he accepted that it was over between us, and felt a stab of guilt, I hated that I’d hurt him.
Gerard saw my expression, and squeezed my hand, making me look back at him. “He’ll be okay, Jackie.”
“I know.” I sighed.
“And again, I’m sorry.”
“Oh, Gee.” I sniffled, and hugged him tight. “I really don’t care about what you did, just that you’re alive and breathing.” I sobbed.

I took over tending to Gerard, and at 11pm, a nurse came in and asked if I was going to stay in with him overnight, and after telling her I was, she said I was welcome to sleep on the other hospital bed next to Gerard’s if I needed to. I kept him occupied, trying to find any possible way to make him laugh, and not let the bad shit creep up on him and make him feel depressed again.

Sometime around midnight, Gerard finally fell asleep, and I passed out not long after, still sitting in the chair beside him, but with my head on his bed, and his hand in mine…