We'll Love Again, We'll Laugh Again, We'll Cry Again, and We'll Dance Again
Searchlights Find Us Drinking By The Mausoleum.
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Oh this is wrong.
Oh so very wrong.
The kissing.
The touching.
One thing can lead to another.
Things can't be this way.
I'm not this kind of person.
Yes you are.
Shut up, no I'm not.
Then why are you arguing with your thoughts while making out with this chick, again?
Good question.
Things led to another, like I predicted, and on that cold night, in a cemetery, I listened to her moans in my ear as I was thinking about the consequences if anyone found out.
I can hardly bare with myself already, let alone my actions.
Things would never be the same if anyone knew.
Your probably thinking how much of a prick I am.
Or how could I do this to someone.
Truly, that's also my question.
I have the perfect girlfriend, yet it's not satisfying.
Maybe I'm one of those guys who just want sex.
One of those pigs.
Who knows.
My parents once wanted me to go to a psychiatrist, when I was little.
They thought that my occurrence of nightmares is from when I discovered a dead body in a park at the age of 4.
But, I hardly remember any of that.
Nor do I ever want to remember.
Maybe I have a disease of some sort, like my sister.
Seems like a pretty fucked up family don't it?
Aren't we all.
Damned from the start.
Thrown into the darkness where we feel like choking on it all.
That night, I walked home to find the car gone and the house dark and empty.
Dad was probably out drinking the night away, while Miranda was probably at Marie's house.
I barely even slithered up the steps when I felt the slosh in my stomach rising in my throat.
At that point, I was running up the stairs to get to the toilet.
Almost missing it, I puked up the contents of my stomach from the night.
With minty fresh breath from my toothpaste, I laid in bed.
That oh so cold, hard bed, that I wish wasn't in.
I made myself into a little ball, ignoring that I even had blankets under me, and let myself freeze, while trying to sleep.
Everyone hates going to sleep cold, for unknown reasons to myself, but I don't.
This is just the beginning of what I don't mind, that society minds.
God, I pray to thee that I don't remember this.
Please let me forget what sins I have made on this fateful night.
Everyone will know how much of a perfect boy I am.
Not the fuck up deep down inside, ready to explode through out me.
God, I pray to thee that I don't remember this.
I can hear the echos of my sister's voice scolding me for doing this to her best friend.
I can hear the echos of my father's booming voice disowning me.
I can hear the echos of Kory's voice reminding me how much of a fuck up I am.
I can hear the echos of Marie's sobs, when she finds out I'm just a pig.
I believe in you, do you believe in me?
Please keep me sane.
I love you, do you love me?
Please keep me sane.
♠ ♠ ♠
I know it's been a while.I know what I want with this story [as with my others] but it takes forever to write it out.
Some of you may know that feeling.
I'm going to start writing the next chapter.
But I doubt it'll be out soon.
Maybe when, or before school gets out, June 6th.
Comments would be lovely, but, I can't make you ^_^.
LGFUAD, JJ<3.