Welcome To My World, Stranger
Hospital
I really like taxis, especially the yellow ones.
But I don’t like taxi drivers;
Most taxi drivers remind me of Jack and Rhiannon when they were…
Yuck.
Well, Jack and Rhiannon are still kind of yuck.
I mean, Rhiannon still hits me occasionally, and Jack swears at me sometimes, too.
Nobody can be perfect.
Anyway, back to the subject of taxi drivers:
I don’t like taxi drivers who smoke, make small talk, pick their noses, talk to people called Jude on their mobile phones, or sing along to ‘80s classics on the radio.
GHEY I tell you.
I suppose you’re thinking: “Wtf is Christopher going on about?”
But who am I to ask you when obviously I’m supposed to be telling this story instead of asking silly questions about what you’re thinking about?
Well, just so you’re not confused, I think you should know that I’m now sitting in the back of a taxi squished between Zaccheus and the car window.
Zaccheus called for a taxi to take us to the hospital so that we can get Jane’s arm plastered.
I have 4 words to say to Zacc;
CRACK IS WHACK. BITCH.
Heh heh.
Jane is crying again; and the taxi driver is smoking and making small talk.
So far he’s asked why we’re not in school and if we like The OC.
He’s also asked for our names.
According to Zacc, I’m Mr. Happy Pants, Jane is Polly and he is Captain Domination.
This taxi driver is so damn gullible.
And my headache is coming back. Not to mention I need to go to the toilet, now.
GAH.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Zaccheus leans over to me and puts his mouth close to my ear;
“Christopher, I don’t have any money to pay this taxi guy, so we’ll have to make a quick getaway –”
Quite frankly, I am horrified.
But his voice does sound nice, especially in that low tone…
“– you get out first and I’ll stall while you get your skateboard and bag out of the boot. Then Jane will get out and I’ll quickly follow after she’s with you. We can then quickly run inside the hospital.”
He leans back and whispers the message to Jane who is now whimpering.
Zacc then sits back up, looks at me and murmurs:
“Don’t fuck this up.”
I groan and press my forehead onto the cool glass.
Why is it that I am suddenly getting headaches and vomiting?
OMFG.
It’s Zaccheus.
He’s the devil’s child.
And is making me sick.
Uh oh; the hospital is in sight…
I hope I get this right, even though I will feel terrible for the rest of my life.
Hmm. I wonder if it’s a good time to become Catholic.
The taxi slows to a stop and the driver turns around and announces in his thick accent how much we need to pay.
I will tell you now, we owe a lot of money.
Zaccheus nudges me in the ribs, hard.
I tumble out of the taxi and go around to the boot; I get my skateboard and my bag out and stand on the cracked footpath leading to the hospital emergency entrance.
Jane hops out of the car, shortly followed by Zaccheus.
I take Jane by her good hand and drag her towards the hospital entrance; I hear Zaccheus’ footsteps close behind along with yelling.
Heh; this taxi driver really knows his swear words.
As we tumble into the hospital, Zaccheus slides to the front desk;
“Please, help us; there’s a taxi driver outside which was trying to abduct us!
He also snapped my sister’s arm…”
Pathetic excuse, Zacc;
Only idiots listen to idiots like you.
I roll my eyes and sit Jane down on one of the waiting benches.
To my surprise, the lady at the front desk calls security, then the police.
“It’ll be alright, loves;
The police are on their way.
Please, come through and we’ll fix your little sister up.”
Is it just me or is this town full of credulous, stupid people?
But I don’t like taxi drivers;
Most taxi drivers remind me of Jack and Rhiannon when they were…
Yuck.
Well, Jack and Rhiannon are still kind of yuck.
I mean, Rhiannon still hits me occasionally, and Jack swears at me sometimes, too.
Nobody can be perfect.
Anyway, back to the subject of taxi drivers:
I don’t like taxi drivers who smoke, make small talk, pick their noses, talk to people called Jude on their mobile phones, or sing along to ‘80s classics on the radio.
GHEY I tell you.
I suppose you’re thinking: “Wtf is Christopher going on about?”
But who am I to ask you when obviously I’m supposed to be telling this story instead of asking silly questions about what you’re thinking about?
Well, just so you’re not confused, I think you should know that I’m now sitting in the back of a taxi squished between Zaccheus and the car window.
Zaccheus called for a taxi to take us to the hospital so that we can get Jane’s arm plastered.
I have 4 words to say to Zacc;
CRACK IS WHACK. BITCH.
Heh heh.
Jane is crying again; and the taxi driver is smoking and making small talk.
So far he’s asked why we’re not in school and if we like The OC.
He’s also asked for our names.
According to Zacc, I’m Mr. Happy Pants, Jane is Polly and he is Captain Domination.
This taxi driver is so damn gullible.
And my headache is coming back. Not to mention I need to go to the toilet, now.
GAH.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Zaccheus leans over to me and puts his mouth close to my ear;
“Christopher, I don’t have any money to pay this taxi guy, so we’ll have to make a quick getaway –”
Quite frankly, I am horrified.
But his voice does sound nice, especially in that low tone…
“– you get out first and I’ll stall while you get your skateboard and bag out of the boot. Then Jane will get out and I’ll quickly follow after she’s with you. We can then quickly run inside the hospital.”
He leans back and whispers the message to Jane who is now whimpering.
Zacc then sits back up, looks at me and murmurs:
“Don’t fuck this up.”
I groan and press my forehead onto the cool glass.
Why is it that I am suddenly getting headaches and vomiting?
OMFG.
It’s Zaccheus.
He’s the devil’s child.
And is making me sick.
Uh oh; the hospital is in sight…
I hope I get this right, even though I will feel terrible for the rest of my life.
Hmm. I wonder if it’s a good time to become Catholic.
The taxi slows to a stop and the driver turns around and announces in his thick accent how much we need to pay.
I will tell you now, we owe a lot of money.
Zaccheus nudges me in the ribs, hard.
I tumble out of the taxi and go around to the boot; I get my skateboard and my bag out and stand on the cracked footpath leading to the hospital emergency entrance.
Jane hops out of the car, shortly followed by Zaccheus.
I take Jane by her good hand and drag her towards the hospital entrance; I hear Zaccheus’ footsteps close behind along with yelling.
Heh; this taxi driver really knows his swear words.
As we tumble into the hospital, Zaccheus slides to the front desk;
“Please, help us; there’s a taxi driver outside which was trying to abduct us!
He also snapped my sister’s arm…”
Pathetic excuse, Zacc;
Only idiots listen to idiots like you.
I roll my eyes and sit Jane down on one of the waiting benches.
To my surprise, the lady at the front desk calls security, then the police.
“It’ll be alright, loves;
The police are on their way.
Please, come through and we’ll fix your little sister up.”
Is it just me or is this town full of credulous, stupid people?