Welcome To My World, Stranger
My First 'Real' Enemy
It was a gloomy sort of day at school. Actually, it was a Thursday: the day that I abhor. I usually skip Thursdays, as they are a bringer of misfortune and bad luck. But on this particular Thursday, I went to school; poor me.
I was keeping to myself in the yard, when I really needed to pee. And I mean, I really, really needed to pee. So, I made my way clumsily to the boys’ toilets.
Guess who was there, blocking the door.
No, not Arden.
But Mr. Pritchard; another one of my despised people. His thick-rimmed glasses make his eyes look huge, his nose is longer than normal, and he is tall and scrawny, like me.
Actually, he reminds me of an owl.
Personally, I feel sorry for the owls.
I tried to push past him, but he flung out one of his skinny little arms to stop me. By this time, I was getting desperate.
“What?” I had hissed, trying not to dance around too much.
Mr. Pritchard just sneered and indicated to a sign next to the door with his thumb.
The writing on the sign was wonky, smudged and didn’t really make sense due to the many spelling and grammar errors.
It read:
If yu want to go to da tolet, ya hav to pay a fee of $2.00.
Oderwize go pee in da bushes.
I knew the pay for teachers was bad, but not that bad…
“Ya have ter pay ter use the lavatory, Christopher.”
How I hate his voice. All high-pitched and squeaky. I’ll be damned if his voice hasn’t broken, yet.
I searched my pockets for any spare coins, but unfortunately, my pockets were empty except for Chas, a piece of chewed gum, some bandaids and a bent paper clip.
I bounced up and down in frustration; there was no way Mr. Pritchard was going to let me in without paying.
Hewas is such a prick.
I had to think quick; otherwise it would’ve been too late.
As I ran from the toilet block, I scowled at anyone that looked in my direction. I scampered to the furthest bush in the yard and began to pee.
I can tell you now, it was such a relief.
Until I heard the bush cry out in surprise.
That was not such a relief.
Normally talking bushes were the man-eating ones!
I had quickly abandoned my peeing-post and ran to the principal’s office.
“Mrs. Dately!” I shouted, bursting into her office. My head swung left, then right.
Where was she?
My breathing had quickened and I went in to a panic attack mode. I pulled at my hair and stood there, panting like a maniac.
Suddenly, a hand groped the edge of the big, wooden desk on the opposite side of the room; someone was behind it...
Minutes later, it seemed, I saw a dishevelled bun of a mousy-brown colour and two dusty blue eyes framed by small, square glasses emerge from behind the messy desk. Mrs. Dately’s eyes had darted around the room before coming to a halt on me.
Quickly, she had straightened up, adjusted her glasses and smoothed out her violet skirt.
“Mrs. Dately!” I had screamed again, “There is a man-eating plant in the yard; you should really think about… exterminating it before it eats someone!”
Before Mrs. Dately had even opened her mouth to speak, someone thundered in, wheezing and smelling really bad.
I had scrunched up my face and remarked, “Poh, what smells? Did someone step in dog crap?”
Bad move.
“Oi, you; Emo Kid.” A voice rumbled next to my ear. I turned my head to the left; and there was a big, ugly, pudgy, wet face staring at me.
That’s when I met Arden.
From that point, our relationship went downhill.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I was keeping to myself in the yard, when I really needed to pee. And I mean, I really, really needed to pee. So, I made my way clumsily to the boys’ toilets.
Guess who was there, blocking the door.
No, not Arden.
But Mr. Pritchard; another one of my despised people. His thick-rimmed glasses make his eyes look huge, his nose is longer than normal, and he is tall and scrawny, like me.
Actually, he reminds me of an owl.
Personally, I feel sorry for the owls.
I tried to push past him, but he flung out one of his skinny little arms to stop me. By this time, I was getting desperate.
“What?” I had hissed, trying not to dance around too much.
Mr. Pritchard just sneered and indicated to a sign next to the door with his thumb.
The writing on the sign was wonky, smudged and didn’t really make sense due to the many spelling and grammar errors.
It read:
If yu want to go to da tolet, ya hav to pay a fee of $2.00.
Oderwize go pee in da bushes.
I knew the pay for teachers was bad, but not that bad…
“Ya have ter pay ter use the lavatory, Christopher.”
How I hate his voice. All high-pitched and squeaky. I’ll be damned if his voice hasn’t broken, yet.
I searched my pockets for any spare coins, but unfortunately, my pockets were empty except for Chas, a piece of chewed gum, some bandaids and a bent paper clip.
I bounced up and down in frustration; there was no way Mr. Pritchard was going to let me in without paying.
Hewas is such a prick.
I had to think quick; otherwise it would’ve been too late.
As I ran from the toilet block, I scowled at anyone that looked in my direction. I scampered to the furthest bush in the yard and began to pee.
I can tell you now, it was such a relief.
Until I heard the bush cry out in surprise.
That was not such a relief.
Normally talking bushes were the man-eating ones!
I had quickly abandoned my peeing-post and ran to the principal’s office.
“Mrs. Dately!” I shouted, bursting into her office. My head swung left, then right.
Where was she?
My breathing had quickened and I went in to a panic attack mode. I pulled at my hair and stood there, panting like a maniac.
Suddenly, a hand groped the edge of the big, wooden desk on the opposite side of the room; someone was behind it...
Minutes later, it seemed, I saw a dishevelled bun of a mousy-brown colour and two dusty blue eyes framed by small, square glasses emerge from behind the messy desk. Mrs. Dately’s eyes had darted around the room before coming to a halt on me.
Quickly, she had straightened up, adjusted her glasses and smoothed out her violet skirt.
“Mrs. Dately!” I had screamed again, “There is a man-eating plant in the yard; you should really think about… exterminating it before it eats someone!”
Before Mrs. Dately had even opened her mouth to speak, someone thundered in, wheezing and smelling really bad.
I had scrunched up my face and remarked, “Poh, what smells? Did someone step in dog crap?”
Bad move.
“Oi, you; Emo Kid.” A voice rumbled next to my ear. I turned my head to the left; and there was a big, ugly, pudgy, wet face staring at me.
That’s when I met Arden.
From that point, our relationship went downhill.
---------------------------------------------------------------