Your Love Is Mine For The Taking

DISCLAIMER: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONING OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, SO IF YOU CAN NOT OR DO NOT WANT TO READ ABOUT SUBJECT MATTER PERTAINING TO SEXUAL ASSAULT, I SUGGEST NOT READING THIS CHAPTER. IF YOU HAVE BEEN AFFECTED BY SEXUAL ASSAULT, I URGE YOU TO VISIT THE SIGHT RAINN.com. IF YOU NEED HELP OR ANYTHING, GO TO THAT SIGHT, THEY WILL HELP YOU. THE HOTLINE IS 1-800-656-HOPE.

On that first of October Friday morning, Vanessa awoke to a soft purring sound coming from on top of her head. She shifted her head away from the sound, yet as soon as she did, a loud meow beckoned her back to her previous position. Vanessa chuckled tiredly and turned her eyes up at Lovely's sky blue eyes that were half shut. His paws reached for her and grabbed at her hair.
“I'm sorry, Lovely. Did I disturb you?” asked Vanessa in a hushed tone. She rolled over onto her stomach so that she could face and pet him. Lovely mewed at her in response before flipping onto his other side, and then back facing Vanessa again.
“Would you like some food, darling?” Vanessa giggled as Lovely cocked his head at her and mewed loudly and stood up, white hair fly everywhere. “All right. Let Mommy get him some food.”
Vanessa pulled her covers off of her, her legs remained warm under the soft beads of sunlight that seemed to pour into their room. It amazed her how they could still be underwater, and yet the sunlight still found it's way inside their bedrooms. She pushed herself off of her bed, Lovely trailing slowly behind her as she fetched his food. Lovely reached his front paws up to her knee and stretched, yawning as he did so before laying down before the food bowl. Vanessa poured Lovely his food and watched with laughter as he practically attacked the food bowl, chomping down everything he could.
Vanessa sat back down on the bed, running her toes over the luke warm floor. The idea to stay inside all day crossed her mind; sleep in a little later, read something down in the common room, or just sleep through everything. Vanessa had not a single explanation for her fatigue and lack of energy; her body just constantly craved to be relaxed and a sleep and away from everything and everyone. She, as quickly as she could, shoved the thought away. She was already getting far behind in History of Magic and her seven page essay in Potions was far from completed. Considering that it was due that morning, Vanessa pulled out her clothes and swiftly got dressed and threw up her hair before unpacking her Potions book and parchment.
- - - - - - - - - -
“Snape is going to have our ass's for this!” yelled Daphne as her, Vanessa, and Astoria dodged down the corridor to their Potions class. Vanessa, Daphne, and Astoria had slept through Divination and had thrown their makeup and clothes on as fast as they could to get down to their Potion's class.
“What are we even running for anyway? We're already late. Might as well delay the punishment.” proposed Astoria, slipping her cloak over her shoulders as they rounded the corner to the staircase.
“I don't want to be any later than I have to be.” said Daphne heatedly. Vanessa had decided it best to keep her mouth shut. Astoria gave Vanessa a look before sighing dramatically as they hit the bottom of the stairs, facing the door to Potions. Both Vanessa and Daphne turned Astoria, who creased her brows and opened her mouth the slightest bit.
“You want me to go in first don't you? Take the blow for you?” said Astoria in a higher tone than usual.
“Oh, all right.” she huffed before swinging the door open, both Daphne and Vanessa cringed as she walked in. Like the first wave of soldiers on Normandy Beach, Vanessa was sure Astoria was going to be annihilated. Daphne and Vanessa waited a brief few seconds before sliding in the classroom behind Astoria. Vanessa kept her eyes on the floor as she heard Astoria speak, it almost hurt too much to actually see it.
“I'm so sorry, sir. We really didn't mean to be so late. We all slept in late-”
“I don't need a full explanation, Ms. Greengrass.” purred an much softer voice than Snape. Vanessa ears perked at the sound, her eyes shifted immediately toward the source of the voice. The corner of her mouth pulled into her cheek as Lucius looked her over. Vanessa could have sworn she saw his lips twitch just a moment as they briefly saw one another.
“This isn't to happen again. Have I made myself clear, Astoria, Daphne, Vanessa.” Her heart jumped into the back of her throat and back down at the sound of him saying her name.
“Yes sir.” all three girls replied.
Lucius took a short inhale of breath, his lips puckered out gently. Vanessa could clearly see how much he truly liked being authoritative and respected, and to her, it was strangely attractive. “Good. Now, take your seats and hand me your essays.”
Vanessa quietly thanked herself for remembering as she saw Astoria's eyes widen a fraction at the mentioning of essays. “I forgot to do mine.” whined Astoria as she passed Vanessa. Vanessa turned around an mouthed an 'I'm sorry' before pulling out her freshly completed essay. It wasn't brilliant writing but it would get a passing grade, she hoped.
Vanessa seemingly couldn't take her eyes of Lucius as sat quietly reading every student's essay. Ever so often, his gray eyes would graze over her, and each time Vanessa felt her heart beat a little faster and her face grow a little warmer. She pulled herself away from his enrapturing gaze, and focused all of her attention on reading about how to make a proper batch of Polyjuice Potion. Out of the corner of her eye, Vanessa saw Hermione cut her eyes at Ron, whom immediately flushed a wild shade of red and silenced himself at once. Hermione had told Vanessa about the mishap that she'd had that turned her into something like a cat. Vanessa stifled a laugh with a cough at thought. As Vanessa was reading about the number of Lacewing flies to add in, the door swung open. Vanessa looked up at the sound of the footsteps. It was as though an ice cube had slipped down her throat and into her stomach. Her whole body racketed with chills, and all of the hair on her arms and neck stood high. IT had walked in, carrying something in between his hands. The very smell of HIM, HIS odor, caused a vomit like taste in the back of her mouth. She wanted very much to duck underneath the desk and not let him see her.
“Sir? I was asked to bring this to you.” as soon as she heard his voice, Vanessa's head began to spin and turn with flashbacks of that night, her whole body began to lightly shake.
“Vanessa, are you all right?” whispered Hermione, who was pointing to Vanessa's shaking hand that was grasping her quill. Vanessa dropped her quill and cleared her throat, “Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.” she could hear her own lie in those four words. Vanessa could feel that both Astoria and Daphne were staring at her with concerned stares. Vanessa's jaw clenched tightly as IT looked her way; his eyes were colder than any weather she'd ever endured. His eyes black like the pits of hell. She hated this power that he seemed to have over her; one stare and her body quakes in fear.
“Hey, Vanessa.” he called in mocked kindness. To anyone else, it would have seemed like a kind greeting, but Vanessa knew HIM too well, she knew better. She could hear the mockery in his voice, written all over his smirking face.
'How dare he even speak to me after what he did.'
Vanessa scooted her seat closer to Hermione as she saw IT nearing her. Her instincts to fight him off were kicking in, working in overdrive. She could feel her eyes watering in fear and shame. HIS face was twisted in the same way it had been that night in the Forbidden Forest. Loud flashbacks began playing in her head, reliving the trauma that HE had put her through. She could hear her own screaming pleading as if she were back on the leaf and dirt covered ground once again. The fear she felt then was beginning to over take her and threatening to render her unable to move. HE was only a few feet away when Daphne rose from her seat.
“You need to leave her alone.” said Daphne dryly.
“This doesn't concern you, Greengrass.” sneered IT. He attempted to side step her, but Daphne cut in front of him and growled back, “It does concern me. She doesn't want to speak to you, none of us do. So, do us a favor and get out of here.”
“Is there a problem here?” asked Lucius calmly, but Vanessa didn't, couldn't, look over at him, her attention was focused on IT and what IT might do.
'Just get up and get out of here. '
“Yes sir, there is. Daniel here thinks he needs to speak to Vanessa.” spat Daphne.
“I was just trying to speak to an old friend of mine.” said Daniel in a coy tone that made Vanessa shut her eyes and turn her head away. Both Daphne and Astoria scoffed at IT's remark.
“Friend of yours? Is that some type of bad joke?” yelled Astoria, rising from her own seat. Vanessa pulled her bag over her shoulder and rose from her seat and attempted to ease by Astoria and Daphne, not wanting to be in the classroom anymore, nor around IT any longer. Vanessa had felt as though she couldn't breathe; her anxiety choking her like a boa constrictor. As Vanessa tried to slip by Astoria, she felt a hand wrap itself around her upper arm. Vanessa jumped and screamed at the touch of his hand on her once again. She whipped her head around to face IT, both fear and anger swirling inside herself.
“Don't you ever lay your hands on me you disgusting prat!” even if her voice shook as she screamed, she had said it. Vanessa pushed past all four of them and ran up to her dormitory.
- - - -
“No.” she murmured.
She felt his knees part hers just as she choked down one sob before she slammed one of her clenched fists into the side of Danni's head, a loud yell of pain from him followed. She quickly sat up, pulling her wand out before making a run for it, yelling for help as loud as she could, so loud that she felt as though her face was boiling.
“Help! Somebody help me! Someone-” her cries for help were silenced by a hand over her mouth, and before she knew it, she was thrown to the ground, her mouth filled with dirt.
“Silenco!” whispered Danni, immediately stopping any noise that were to come from her mouth. Vanessa's eyes widened as she tried to scream and no noise came out, the tears flowed freely down her face. The panic rising in her chest.
- - - -
She could hear it, see it, clear as she could see each step she was running up then. Her head played each second of that horrible night over and over again. Vanessa slammed the door to her shared dorm shut, and collapsed with her back against the door, loud sobs erupted inside herself, large tears spilled from her eyes and fell quickly down her face and neck. Vanessa wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging herself as she wept. It was uncontrollable sobs that shook her petite frame; wave after wave crashing against her insides like a thrashing ocean during a hurricane. Her face was becoming more red and blotchy as she continued to cry, her insides twisting and writhing in pain. All of the overwhelming emotions had sprung on top of her at once; shame, guilt, disgust, anger, hatred, fear. She asked herself over and over again, “Why?” Yelling to herself, “I should have fought harder!” The guilt she felt over the attack was insurmountable, as though it had been her fault. That some how, if she had done something different, if she hadn't gone that way that night, if she had fought harder, screamed louder, that somehow it wouldn't have happened to her. The anger made Vanessa dig her nails into the skin of her arms. The anger made her blood light on fire. She hated IT for what HE did. How could any human being do what he did to her? She had said 'no', very clearly. The shame and disgust she felt over what had happened seemed to suffocate the fear she had. Her body burned where he had touched her; the skin ached and itched. Her whole body felt dirty and used up. The shame itself had soaked itself into every pore, every part of her body that HE had touched, that he had violated. The pressure Vanessa felt on her chest made it hard for her to breathe as she continued to cry, coughing loudly as she choked on her own saliva.
Vanessa lifted herself off of the floor and wobbled into the bathroom, flicking on the lights. Vanessa caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and her entire face fell. The image that met her was the same one she saw that night after being in the Hospital Wing for an hour. The skirt the rested five inches above her knees cast a small shadow on the bruises that had formed on her thighs. Her hair was covered in dirt, her left eye was a blackish blue color, her right cheek was also bruising, her neck had a red hand print around the front, Vanessa's blouse was tattered and weathered, bruises and cuts trailed up her arms. The small cup of dittany was in Vanessa's hand as well. Vanessa blinked profusely and looked down at herself in her school uniform; free of cuts and bruises. As she looked back in the mirror, the image of her beaten self was gone, and she was staring back at her tear stained red and blotchy face. Vanessa ran a shaky hand through her hair as she turned around and turned the nozzle on hot. She practically tore the clothes off of her body, and threw herself into the warm water of the shower. Long showers had become a kind of ritual for her, but this time was different. Vanessa poured the soap on her pouf and scrubbed all over her body, scrubbing harder between her legs and her thighs; attempting to wash of the ghostly feeling of his hands and touch. It seemed, no matter how hard she scrubbed, she couldn't fully get him off of her. Not matter how much soap, no matter how many times she went over the same spots on her body. Vanessa had used several handfuls of her soap before she felt clean enough to wash her hair, and get out of the shower. Her skin had become red and slightly sore from the heat of the shower and the harshness of her scrubbing. Vanessa didn't linger around the steam stained mirror. She exited the bathroom and sat down slowly on her bed, both physically and mentally too tired to erupt into tears again. Vanessa bowed her head and let the water from her hair wet her face and the floor. Her mind began to replay all that had happened that morning, that short thirty minutes in the classroom. She couldn't really remember anything except screaming at IT to not touch her, everything else was blurry and fuzzy. She'd been blinded by the fear and anxiety. Waves of shame rose higher and higher inside her chest. How could she have acted that way in class? So weak and defenseless. She always liked to seem well put together and somewhat strong, but the truth was, she wasn't that strong. Ever since that night, she'd been less of what she used too be. Vanessa hated to come off as some weak and powerless victim. Victim. The word itself made Vanessa cringe, but she couldn't lie to herself and say she wasn't one. She was a victim, and it angered her more than she thought possible. Vanessa shook her head, almost trying to shake those thoughts out of her head like the beads of water on her wet strands. She pulled open her truck and pulled out a white sweater, jeans, and a bra and underwear. A knocking at the door caused Vanessa to jump as she slipped her jeans on.
“Van? It's me, Astoria.” Vanessa smiled. Astoria never had to say it was her, her voice gave it away. “Can I come in?”
Vanessa slipped the soft white sweater over her head before she opened the door for Astoria and let her inside. Astoria's soft eyes looked over Vanessa's exhausted expression. She sat down on Vanessa's bed before she spoke. “Vanessa, are you all right?”
“Yeah. You know I just don't like him. That's all.” said Vanessa quietly as she sat down next to Astoria. Vanessa silently hoped that Astoria wouldn't pry into why Vanessa left, but she knew all too well that Astoria was too concerned and worried to not do so.
“Nobody likes his or her ex, but-” Astoria stopped to look over at Vanessa, who kept her head facing the opened bathroom door. “Vanessa, what did he do to you?” Vanessa licked her lips nervously.
“He and I had a violent relationship, Astoria. I think that's enough for me to not like the guy.” said Vanessa in a harsher tone than she meant to. Astoria nodded but persisted just like Vanessa knew she would.
“I know that, but Vanessa, you didn't see your face.” said Astoria gently. Astoria turned her whole body to Vanessa. “Please look at me, Van.” Vanessa cocked her head to the side and met Astoria's lovely green eyes that were looking over Vanessa sympathetically.
“Stop looking at me like that.” said Vanessa. She hated the look of pity on Astoria's face. It somehow infuriated her.
“Vanessa, what happened?” persisted Astoria. Vanessa closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Astoria,” Vanessa stopped herself. She wanted to tell, yet half of her was urging her to keep it to herself for a bit longer. She was torn in keeping her painful and heavy silence or telling Astoria about what happened to her. “If I tell you this. You have to swear on your life that you won't breathe a word to anyone.”
“Vanessa, you know me. If you don't want anyone else to know, I'm not gonna say a thing.” soothed Astoria, the corners of her mouth pulled into a kind smile.
I just need to get it out. Someone needs to know. I can't keep this to myself any longer.
“You've always asked me where I was on the night of the final of the Triwizard Cup, well, Daniel has something to do with it.” Vanessa paused to take a deep breath. It was taking everything she had to keep her composure together. “I left the noise makers the Weasley twins had made on my bed, so I went back to go and get it. When I was walking down to the stadium, I walked into-” She paused, shifting on her bed, “Daniel. He tried to get me to talk to him. He kept saying how we should get back together. I told him to go to hell.” Astoria smiled at this. “But, he wouldn't leave me alone. He said “When I tell you to listen, you listen”, and that's when I started to scream at him. He grabbed me by my wrists, but I kneed him and ran, but-” Vanessa could see it all clearly in her head, it was only getting worse as she continued on. “He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me into the Forbidden Forest.” Vanessa raised a shaky hand to her face. “I fought as hard as I could. I even got up once but he grabbed me and put a silencing spell on me so I couldn't scream. He kept hitting me. He hit me so hard that I blacked out and then he-” she couldn't imagine herself even saying the word. How could five letters be so difficult for one person to pronounce? Vanessa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “He raped me.” Vanessa could describe the feeling of actually saying it, admitting that it had actually happened; dropping the pretend act for the first time in almost four months. It felt surprisingly liberating.
“Oh my God.” breathed Astoria. Vanessa's eyes opened and nearly clenched shut at the wide eyes and open mouth of Astoria. “Vanessa. You have to report this. He can't get away with this! How dare he! How dare he even breathe around you.” The muscles in Astoria's face became tightened and tense.
“Astoria, no! I'm not reporting it. Not yet anyway. I just, I can't deal with it now.” said Vanessa quickly, running her hands through her wet hair. “Madame Pomfrey did an exam on me when I was brought in there that night, so she has everything written down and filed away. She gave me a small jar of dittany to get rid of the cuts and bruises.” Astoria bowed her head.
“That's why I didn't see any bruises. Vanessa? Why didn't you tell me before?” asked Astoria. Vanessa crossed her arms over her chest.
“Astoria, you have no idea how disgusted and ashamed I feel about what happened. It's not something you can just say in a conversation.” snapped Vanessa.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just.” she sighed almost hesitantly before she spoke, “Daphne and I have been worried about you for a while. We just wanted to know what was wrong.”
Vanessa pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth and nipped at the skin. She knew that her friends were worried about her, but she had to come out and say it in her own time, not when it was convenient for them, yet Vanessa couldn't deny how much better she had felt after telling Astoria what had happened that night.
“Oh! Um, I hate having to say this, but Mr. Malfoy asked me to go and tell you to meet him Professor Dumbledore's office. He's concerned, Vanessa.” Vanessa cringed at the thought of Lucius.
“Wonderful. Now he thinks I'm over dramatic mess.” mumbled Vanessa through her hands that she had buried her face in. Astoria pulled Vanessa's hands off her face, “He doesn't. He saw Daniel grab you and he went off on him. Mr. Malfoy grabbed Daniel by the collar and whispered something to him and then told him to wait there, then Malfoy just left. Besides, I'm sure Draco has told him about-” Astoria paused, an almost embarrassed look had crossed her face.
“The day Daniel slapped in front of everyone? Astoria, honestly, I've gotten over that.” Vanessa didn't admit to herself nor to Astoria the twinge of pain she felt at the mentioning of that incident. “Anyway, I should probably go and explain myself, huh?”
Vanessa pushed herself off of her bed and slipped her flats on. As Vanessa turned around, she was nearly knocked back as Astoria tightly wrapped her arms around Vanessa's frame. Vanessa wrapped her arms around Astoria and the two remained there for several moments, not pulling away, just hugging. When Astoria pulled away, her green eyes appeared strained and red, a tell tale sign that she had been trying not to cry. Vanessa shook her head,
“Stop it, honestly.” said Vanessa, patting her friend's cheek.
“I'm sorry.” replied Astoria in a small voice that seemed to give way to a crack. Vanessa shook her head once again and smiled. “No, Vanessa. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you go back alone.” Vanessa locked her arms around Astoria's rip cage and whispered back.
“It wasn't your fault. Please, don't you dare blame yourself.” Vanessa hadn't noticed at the time that those were the words she should have been telling herself. The two let go of one another and locked arms as they exited their dorm and walked up to Dumbledore's office.