Your Love Is Mine For The Taking

Vanessa and Astoria weaved through the oncoming people as they made their way down to Professor Dumbledore's office. Vanessa could feel the ever present feeling of worry and dread weighing on her back like a tumor. Not that Dumbledore made her nervous, but what he knew did make her nervous. Of course he knew what had happened to Vanessa that night in the Forbidden Forrest, yet he never said a word about it. He didn't want to push her into it if she couldn't handle it. She had remembered him saying something along the lines of that. Her whole body felt vulnerable and bare, like a picked scab or scrapped knee; prickly and sensitive. When a stray second year brushed against her shoulder, she cringed in discomfort and surprise. She didn't want to be touched. It was almost painful to be touched by anyone other than Astoria in that moment. Her thoughts and emotions were wound up so tightly, so fragile, like tinsel, yet so edgy and defensive; like a barbed wire.
“Vanessa!” She nearly jumped out of her freshly washed skin at the sudden yell of her name. Both Astoria and Vanessa turned around to see a frustrated and concerned Daphne jogging towards them with a sound of urgency in her voice as she spoke, “Are you all right? I would have come up to see you, but Mr. Malfoy told me to go with him to see Dumbledore. Oh, he's furious, Vanessa. Mr. Malfoy I mean, not Dumbledore. Well, I don't know if he's furious or not, it's a bit difficult to tell with him.”
“Daphne, for goodness sake, catch your breath.” Astoria halfheartedly chuckled. Daphne smiled in between tiny pants, attempting to catch her breath.
“I'm fine, Daph. Honestly. "reassured Vanessa, giving a look to both Astoria and Daphne. She was, somewhat, addressing both of them. The small hint of worry was still lingering on Astoria's features. “Okay.” breathed Daphne with a look of uncertainty in her almond shaped eyes. “Well, let's get to Professor Dumbledore's office, shall we?” asked Daphne as she shrugged her shoulders. Vanessa took a deep inhale before hooking her arm in Daphne's arm, a feeling of security and protection seemed to be laced around them, or so it seemed to Vanessa. The trio stood before the great statue of a gargoyle, Vanessa and Astoria's brows met in the middle; neither of them knew what the password was.
“Cockroach Clusters” said Daphne confidently. Both Vanessa and Astoria gave Daphne a quizzical look, and both secretly doubted that it was the actually password but were surprised as the gargoyle statue leapt to the side to allow them access to the slowly ascending staircase. Vanessa looked over at Daphne, who smiled at her and her sister's odd expressions. “What?” she asked, unaware of why they looked confused.
“How did you know the password? I didn't hear Mr. Malfoy tell us.” said Astoria. Daphne grinned, “Maybe you just weren't paying attention. It wouldn't be the first time.” Vanessa couldn't help but laugh at the sisterly bickering that she was in the middle of. It was oddly comforting to know that everything between them could still continue and didn't have to halt on her behalf.
“He didn't tell me the password. I was listening, dear sister.” said Astoria bitterly.
“Or perhaps the eldest Ms. Greengrass knows one of my favorite snacks are Cockroach Clusters?” said the calming, knowing voice of Professor Dumbledore. The three girls looked away from one another and over to the sitting form of Professor Dumbledore. His long white hair and beard laid peacefully on his shoulders and down his front. His half moon spectacles rested on his severely crooked nose, and a smile pulled at his aged face; his eyes peeled from his kind smile. All of Vanessa's worried seemed to give way on her chest; the weight becoming less intense. He may have been old, very old, but Dumbledore had an affect on her, on everyone who met him. The affect was a sense of security and an overwhelming feeling of being safe. The twinkle in his blue eyes were something of a reassurance.
“Ms. Cunningham, please, take a seat. Help yourself to some licorice.” he offered to Daphne, Astoria, and Vanessa with a weathered hand.
“No thank you, Professor.” said Vanessa politely with a half smile. Dumbledore smiled and gave her a small nod as he took two into the palm of his hand.
“They are very good, but if I do say so myself, they have a bit of a bite to them.” he said with a chuckle as one of the bits of licorice jumped from his hand and attempted to scurry away, nipping and biting at his fingers as he scooped it up and popped it into his mouth. Vanessa's eyes drifted up the beautiful sight that was Dumbledore's pet, his phoenix, Fawkes. His red and golden feathers were folded neatly at his sides, his eyes half lidded as he sat serenely on his perch; he occasionally ruffled his feathers in an attempt to keep himself awake. Vanessa nearly jumped out of her seat as the door to Dumbledore's office flew open. Vanessa turned around and deeply regretted the warmth that crept up her freshly washed face. Lucius stood in the doorway, his face tense, and a fiery glare made his gray eyes appear transparent. Lucius quickly shut the door behind him, and he strode right up beside Vanessa, his eyes searching over her increasingly flushed face. A bit of embarrassment had settled on her cheeks.
“Vanessa, are you all right?” asked Lucius calmly, a much softer tone than he usually used. Vanessa wrapped her arms around her waist.
“I'm all right, Mr. Malfoy.” reassured Vanessa. Lucius looked away from Vanessa and at Astoria and Daphne,
“Thank you for seeing Ms. Cunningham here, ladies. Now if you will, return to your classrooms.” said Lucius in his normal stern voice. Both Astoria and Daphne gave Vanessa reassuring grins and waved her goodbye as they took the spiraling staircase out of Dumbledore's office. Lucius remained standing, even when Dumbledore had offered Lucius a seat.
“Now, Lucius, Vanessa. I heard through the grapevine that there was a disturbance in your class today involving Mr. Reynolds.” Vanessa felt her stomach clench and release at the sound of his name.
“Yes, Dumbledore.” said Lucius in an irritated voice. Vanessa directed her vision over to Dumbledore, who's twinkling blue eyes were staring right back at her. Of course he knew why IT had bothered her, but she knew he could do nothing until she admitted what IT had done to her.
“Vanessa,” coaxed Dumbledore in his kind serene voice. “what did Mr. Reynolds do?” Vanessa shut her eyes as she spoke; part of her couldn't bear to look into Dumbledore's eyes.
“He was harassing me in class.” Vanessa's eyes opened up again, looking over Dumbledore, who was listening with peaked interest. Lucius huffed loudly.
“He grabbed her! He assaulted her, in my class!” announced Lucius angrily. Vanessa looked up at Lucius, his normally pale cheeks were a shade of angry red. His brow that was in her vision perked, and his eyes darted over to her momentarily. A warm gust ran through Vanessa and warmed the back of her neck. She had never had a man be so protective over her, other than Ethan, but that was obvious. No other man had protected her, or stood up for her the way Lucius was. Vanessa's mood seemed to lighten a shade.
“Is this true, Vanessa?” Vanessa nodded to Dumbledore, her shoulders more relaxed and relieved. Dumbledore bowed his head to her, “I see.” he said as he rose from his seat, his large purple coat sweeping the floor as he walked in front of his desk to face both Lucius and Vanessa. Dumbledore looked down from his half moon spectacles and crooked nose at Vanessa, a smile crossing his weathered face, starting from the twinkle in his eye.
“I promise you, Vanessa, I will handle this, and you will not be bothered by him again. Harassment is not tolerated here at Hogwarts, amongst other things.” His bright blue eyes grew somewhat sad, and Vanessa could tell exactly what he was implying.
“I know, Professor.” said Vanessa calmly. Dumbledore took her young hand into his aged one and patted her knuckles.
“If there is anything you need to tell me, Vanessa, please, do not hesitate.” The unspoken conversation going on between the two was far more intense than the spoken one. He was of course aware of her rape, and was hoping she was ready to speak of it to him. Vanessa wished she had the strength to stand up for herself but she didn't.
“Thank you, Professor.” Vanessa said softly, a small reassuring smile tugged at her the right corner of her mouth. Dumbledore gave a short, almost defeated, smile and patted her hand once more.
“I'll have a chat with Mr. Reynolds and refresh him on the rules here at Hogwarts. If he is to speak to you again, in any way shape or form, please let me know.” said Dumbledore. Vanessa rose from her seat and ran her fingers over her shirt, unsure of where to keep her eyes.
“Vanessa, you may take the rest of the day off. Lucius, please inform either of the Greengrass girls to give Vanessa her assignments.” a smile tugged at Dumbledore's weathered mouth at the sight of Vanessa's own grin.
“Thank you, Professor.” she said appreciatively. Dumbledore gently bowed his head in welcome. For a moment, Vanessa and Lucius's eyes connected, and the heat in the room seemed to rise.
“Of course, Dumbledore.” agreed Lucius in a dull tone. Vanessa bit the inside of her mouth at her distaste at the way Lucius was reacting to Dumbledore. Dumbledore stepped around his desk and took his seat, clasping his hands on top the desk. “Lucius, if you will, escort Vanessa to her dormitory.”
Vanessa would have normally been more excited, but after the day's events, Vanessa wasn't to keen about being around him. She knew she was far to vulnerable and fragile in that moment. But perhaps if he didn't kiss her and didn't ask too many questions, which Vanessa could tell he would, then maybe she would be all right. Vanessa did not want Lucius to see her upset. Her weakened facade slowly began to paint itself over her face. She could fake okay for five minutes. She had to.
“Vanessa,” said Lucius softly, resting his hand on her shoulder as he walked her over to the staircase. Vanessa felt her insides squirm at his touch. He was very comforting on one hand, yet on the other, she wasn't sure that she wanted him to touch her. The feeling of not being worthy of his touch. It stung her.
Vanessa stepped inside the spiraling staircase and stood tense as she waited for it's ascent up to the hallway. The silence between the two was filled with questions from Lucius that Vanessa had no answers for. They seemed to be bursting from the seems of his robes. Vanessa kept her eyes ahead of her, even though she could feel two distinct gray eyes looking her over. Questioning her.
“Vanessa?” asked Lucius so quietly that Vanessa thought she may have imagined him saying it. Vanessa stepped out of the stairs first, making sure she walked faster than Lucius did. She didn't want to talk about anything, but she knew Lucius did.
“Vanessa? Vanessa, please.” cooed Lucius as he quickly crossed her path. His brows were creased in the middle, his lips pursed in thought as he looked her over. “I'm sorry.”
Vanessa closed her eyes and shook her head with a laugh, “You have nothing to be sorry about. You didn't do anything, Mr. Malfoy.” Lucius's fingers, very gently, touched her cheek and his eyes focused in on the small freckle on her jaw.
“No need to be so formal, Vanessa. You know that.” Vanessa's mood seemed to soften at the sight of his smile. But his smile was pained, and his face still held confusion and concern.
“I do when we're standing in the middle of a hallway where anyone could walk by.” That seemed to remind Lucius where they were, and he chuckled as he dropped his hand from her face. The two continued to walk, side by side, through the empty hallways, down to the Slytherin dormitories.
“Vanessa, what happened between you and Daniel Reynolds?” Her stomach seemed to fill with ice water at the sound of his name. What had happened between them? A simple question with a not so simple answer. So many things had happened between them. Black eyes and bruises. Fights and death threats. The list seemed to be endless. Vanessa crossed her arms below her chest, “He's my ex. He's a real prick. Sorry.” corrected Vanessa quickly. She assumed he wouldn't find a woman cursing to be appealing.
“No need to apologize. Sometimes, there are no other words to describe some people.” said Lucius with a teasing smile.
Vanessa held her bottom lip in between her teeth and kept her arms crossed. Her body was so tired and was practically begging her to lay down on her bed for some sleep, but she continued walking, her wet hair slapping the back of her neck.
“What did he do to make him your ex boyfriend?” questioned Lucius with an undertone of worry. Vanessa really didn't want to talk about this. Not then. Not in the bloody hallway.
“I think that's a conversation meant for a different time.” said Vanessa in a rather heated tone of voice. She was agitated that he kept asking her questions that she didn't feel like answering. Couldn't he see that she didn't want to talk about anything related to Daniel Reynolds? As the two rounded the corner facing the Slytherin common room entrance, Lucius stepped in front of Vanessa again. This time, Vanessa glared up at him, “Lucius, please. This is not the time to be talking to me all right.” Lucius licked over his lips and nodded; swallowing his questions,
“Of course. You're upset and don't want to talk about it. That's understandable, but I'm not the enemy here, Vanessa. So please don't direct your anger at me. I'm only asking questions.”
“Yes, questions I don't want to answer right now.” snapped Vanessa. She immediately regretted saying it that way as soon as the words left her mouth. “I'm sorry. I just,” she paused to rub her forehead, “I 'm really just in a foul mood. Perhaps you could save your questions for another time. Just,” she stopped again to look down and shuffle her feet, hiding her vulnerability, “not right now.”
Lucius brought his smooth hand up to her cheek, keeping her face still and her eyes focused on him as he spoke, “Meet me in the Astronomy Tower, tonight at seven. We'll talk then.” Lucius attempted to kiss her lips, but Vanessa turned her head to the side so that he kissed her cheek. Half of her turned away in fear that someone might see, but the other half turned away to avoid the feeling of his lips. She didn't want to be kissed, especially not after going through the flashbacks of her assault. His hand she didn't mind, but she didn't want him to get too close just then. She needed a while to herself before that.
“You don't want someone to see us.” whispered Vanessa in Lucius's ear as his lips left her cheek. She felt his cheek tug against hers.
“I know. I just,” Lucius looked over her bare face intently for a moment. Her skin became as vulnerable as her emotions were. Lucius cleared his throat before speaking, “Seven o'clock tonight in the Astronomy Tower.”
- - - -
Vanessa tightened her double breasted navy coat as she took the last steps up to the windy Astronomy Tower. The wind was howling loudly, blowing back her wavy hair; the cold stinging her face like tiny pin pricks. As soon as the powerful gust came, it was gone, and the night was as still and soft as the black lake. Vanessa carefully stepped closer to the edge, her hands immediately gripping the railings as she looked all around. The sky was a bruised color. A mixture of dark navy and purple. Stars were hidden underneath the colors, becoming more clear as the wind swept the bruised clouds past. It was all mesmerizing: the colors, the stars, the way the suddenly much softer wind made Vanessa feel. There was something about the way the night wind was running over her face that was oddly comforting and freeing. She had never been a fan of heights, yet even as high up as she was in the Astronomy Tower, Vanessa felt comfortable and free. Vanessa closed her eyes as another strong gust of wind blew through her and shook her to her bones, but she smiled. The few hours she got of rest and relaxing had eased her of her flashbacks and agitation, but the feeling of the nightly wind gave her mood a boost.
“Beautiful, isn't it?” Vanessa didn't jump at the voice. She knew exactly who it was as soon as she heard his voice. There was a distinct way Lucius spoke that set him a part from everyone else she knew. It was confident and had a masculine softness to it. Aristocratic and powerful.
Vanessa kept her back to him, even though she could feel his eyes urging her to look his way. She was far too caught up in the feeling of the wind.
“Talk to me, Vanessa.” coaxed Lucius in his posh voice. Vanessa turned away from the wind to face him. The look in his eyes was devastating. She couldn't lie to his large, knowing, almost transparent gray eyes, for they would see right through her act. His blond hair lay down his back, completely untouched by the damage of the wind. Surely, hers was starting to tangle.
“About what?” Lucius tutted and his eyes drifted off to the vast depth between the floor of the Astronomy Tower and the concrete.
“Don't act like you don't know what I mean, Vanessa.” Lucius and Vanessa's eyes crossed paths again, she caught the way his gray orbs moved over the structure of her face. Lucius moved closer to her, “What happened between you and Daniel-”
“Lucius, I told you. He is my ex boyfriend. That's what happened between us. I dated him.” interrupted Vanessa. She licked over her dry lips and swallowed hard. She didn't want to have to have this conversation with Lucius so soon. Couldn't it wait a few months? “Like I told you earlier on today, he was a prick. I can't stand the boy.” she emphasized stand by gritting her teeth, squashing his very name between her canines.
“I don't mean to pry, Vanessa, but there have been things that Draco has told me about Reynolds that made some questions arise.” Vanessa could feel her stomach lowering itself between her feet. She hoped that Draco hadn't told Lucius about the way Daniel used to treat her.
“What did Draco tell you?” asked Vanessa in a very hesitant and anxious tone. Lucius picked up on it immediately and cocked his head to the side and peeled his eyes in a curious way at her.
“What do you think he told me, Vanessa? Is there something he should have told me?” Vanessa cut her eyes at him,
“Stop answering a question with a question, Lucius. What did Draco tell you?” she asked with even more urgency. If she hadn't had anymore self restraint she would've slapped herself for sounding so panicky. Lucius turned away from her and rested his hands on the railings, his eyes staring into the sky. A soft sigh released itself from Lucius's body and seemed to release the heaviness on top of his shoulders.
“Draco told me,” he paused to sigh again and to bow his head, “that Daniel used to hit you.”
Vanessa closed her eyes and cursed Draco with her mouth tightly shut. How dare he tell Lucius something so personal about her? That was for her to share, or to not share. “Is that true?” When Vanessa opened her eyes again, Lucius was staring right at her, nothing else seemed to be arousing his interest. Her immediate response was to lie, but the words just left her mouth without checking with her brain to see if it was all right.
“Yes, it is.”
It was as though the ten pound weights that were resting inside her chest had disintegrated into dust. She felt so much lighter, so relieved that she wasn't hiding the truth from Lucius. He knew, and she couldn't change it. She wasn't even sure she wanted to change it. Lucius held his hand out for her to take. Vanessa carefully rested her hand in his, tightening her grip as he pulled her to the railings. Lucius slid her in front of him and pulled her back into his chest. Vanessa couldn't help but smile as she felt Lucius kiss the side of her head and take a short smell of her hair. One of his hands held her around the waist, whilst the other ran up and down her arm. She had never felt so comfortable in another person's embrace in her whole life. So safe. So protected. So special and delicate. He wasn't trying to kiss her, or feel her up, he was just holding her. She was emotionally exposed to him, and he wasn't trying to take advantage of it. She was emotionally raw and vulnerable to him, and he was holding her. Being vulnerable was frightening as hell, but the longer her and Lucius stood in embrace, the more she allowed herself to be vulnerable to him. And the easier it became to be vulnerable to him. The fear of it wasn't gone, but she could take the fear with a grain of salt. Vanessa stared up into the night time sky, clad with thousands of stars. The wind was slow and steady and rustled the trees in the distance. It was a while before either of them spoke. Both were enjoying the other's embrace and the view far to much to add words into the mix. Vanessa shivered slightly as Lucius brought his cold hand up to her face and brushed her hair back behind her ears.
“I will never raise my hand to you.” whispered Lucius into her exposed ear, his hand resting on her coat covered shoulder. Vanessa's body seemed to melt into pudding in his hands. His tone was sincere and his sentence short but jammed with a lengthy meaning. She appreciated his gesture more than she would let show. “I will never do what he did to you, Vanessa.” She turned her head to face him. As she looked him over, something told her he knew she wasn't telling him everything, but he wasn't going to push her into telling. She was very grateful for that. Vanessa didn't want to have to answer anymore questions. His eyes ran over her lips, and she could see he wanted to kiss her, but wasn't sure if he should. Truth be told, she didn't want to be kissed just then but just held.
“Thank you.” said Vanessa with her first sincere smile of the day. Lucius leaned down and pressed his lips against her forehead, which broadened her grin. Vanessa turned back around and relaxed against his warm, firm chest and tightened her hands around his arms. Lucius rested the side of his face against her head as the two stood in their embrace, staring out at the vastness around them, fully aware of the feeling of the other's warmth.