But You Don't Have A Heart

It had been a week since the accident, although accident isn't really the right word for it---it was just a word Sam called it. This was no accident, and they all knew it. It had been a week since Castiel died, and the Winchester's found themselves at Bobby's.

The were at Bobby's to track down Lilith. After New York, she fell off the grid yet again, and now they had to track her down again. Dean and Sam insisted that they all pressed on with the job, especially Dean. The best way to forget something was to occupy yourself with something else, in this case a hunt. Out of all the Winchesters, Dean knew that lesson best.

Melinda hadn't spoken in around a week, and if she did, she was very limited with her words. Her brothers were damn worried about her, but they knew hunting down Lilith would be the best remedy. In fact, it was the only remedy. Yes, Castiel was gone, and they all missed him, even Dean. Their source of device, magic and living protection had been completely cut off now that their gaurdian angel had died.

Bobby had entered the room with a bottle of jack and shot glasses. He set them out on the table and poured each Winchester a glass. Sam and Dean finished their right away. Melinda just stared at hers, then hestiantly took the glass in her hand then downed it. It seemed to go down smooth. She ordered Bobby for another glass. Wordlessly, her wish was his command and he filled her cup and slid it over to her. She drank it down then asked for another.

"I'm not going to let you drink your pain away." Bobby told her. Melinda just glared at him, one hand on the shot glass, the other pressed up against the table. She didn't speak. Her brother's just stared at her. Just another awkward day for the Winchesters.

Bobby say down beside Melinda. "Boys, can you give us a minute?" Sam stood up with ease, then headed for the door. Dean stayed at the table. "Bobby, we've got no time for girl talk, we have to find Lilith!"
Bobby just looked up at Dean, gesturing with his eyes to leave them alone.

Powerless, Dean grabbed his jacket from the chair and followed Sam out the door. When Bobby sensed they were alone, he turned to Melinda. She was always pouring herself another glass. Bobby looked at her with sympathy as he took the bottle from her.

"I told you, I'm not letting you drink your pain away."
"Bobby, please. I'm not in the mood for this." Melinda snatched the bottle back.

Bobby knew there was no use in arguing with someone who lost someone they love. He tried it with Dean and it got nowhere. He even tried it with Sam when Dean went to hell, it still got him no where. He let Melinda have the bottle. She didn't even bother with the glass and drank straight from the bottle.

"At least pace yourself. You won't be able to remember what I'm about to tell you."

Melinda just shot him a simple, almost drunken glare. Her eyes were lazy and partically filled with whiskey.
"Melinda, I know you loved Cas, I know he loved you to, and I know this hurts like holy hell,"
"Thanks for reminding me." Melinda slurred.

Bobby's eyes were sympathetic. "But you gotta help with the hunt. You have to help us find Lilith. You have to help your brother's kill her. If you do that, you'll help yourself." Bobby told her.

"How will I be helping myself?" Melinda put her lips to the bottle again.
"It will help you forget Cas. It will start the healing."

Melinda put down the bottle with a loud crash. She stared drunkenly at Bobby. "Healing? How can I ever come closer to starting to heal now that I've lost the only think I've ever loved?" Melinda asked. She knew healing was out of the question. She knew she could never forget Castiel. And she didn't want to either. Despite what she said to him, despite what he's done to her, despite the doubt anyone ever gave them, she loved him. She loved him so much she let him began apart of her, a part she will never forget, a part she will enver be able to let go of.

"The only thing you ever loved?" Bobby asked doubtfully, not fulling believing her.
"Yes, Bobby, the only thing I ever loved." Melinda said with disgust. She drank some more, getting drunker with ever gulp.

"Tell me that's the liquor talking. Castiel isn't the only thing you ever loved. What about your mother?"
"She dumped me on my dad."

Bobby had forgotten that.
"Well, uh, what about your dad? What about your brothers?" Bobby finally took the whiskey from Melinda. "That's enough for one night."
Melinda appeared sad now that her only comfort had been ripped away. "Please, Bobby," she said with tears in her eyes. She jut wanted to drink and be alone, nothing more.

"Melinda. I'm going to get you some water. You're going to sober up, and you're going to help us find Lilith, damnit!" Bobby got up from the table, holding the whiskey bottle. "You're saying you don't love your family? Well, I'm going to let you get away with what you've said because you're drunk and you don't mean that." Bobby went to the kitchen.

Melinda let her head drop on the table. Hanging tears fell loosely from her eyes and down her cheek. As Bobby came back into the main room, she lifted her head. "I do love my brothers. I do love my dad. Hell, I love you!" She gestured to Bobby with a sad smile. "But Castiel was my first love, like actual love, like Sam and Jessica love." Melinda confesed.

Bobby sat down the glass of water infront of Melinda and urged her to take it. He took his seat beside her again. "Give it time, kiddo. Time is the best healer of all."
Just as Bobby had said that, Dean and Sam had come through the kitchen. Melinda looked at them blankely. They must have gone in through the back door.

"And in this case, family is the best medicine, and you've got all the medicine you need right here." Bobby pointed at the boys. Sam and Dean smiled down at their sister. Melinda returned the smile.

And right there, in that moment, everyone gathered around that table gave Melinda the love, the courage and the strength to carry on. As they began their search for Lilith and the remaining seals, the healing had started.

Castiel was Melinda's subliminal crutch. She may have failed in teaching him love, and got him killed in the end, but Melinda gained something. In teaching Cas, and in letting him go, she too learned how to love.

The End.