Status: Work In Progress
Attatched at the Lips
Goodbye Isabella Darling
I watched as my sister got out of the car and walked into the airport. She'd made it very clear that she didn't want either me, my mother or Phil to go in with her. She wanted to leave alone. I could well see why Bella felt the urge to go and stay with our father in Forks, Washington. Phil and our mother were newly wed and it almost felt as if we weren't apart of their family anymore. We both knew that that really wasn't the case, that our mother loved us just as much today as she had before the wedding, or before she met Phil. But that's how it felt, the cold and hard truth of how it felt.
And as I saw the door close slowly behind my elder sister, and the image of her pulling her luggage away from the entrance faded into the crowd of people in the airport, a part of me felt empty. Through our entire lives we had always been together, even through school as, by some miracle, we'd been born in the same year; her birthday in early February, mine in late November. No matter where our family moved, we had insisted upon sharing a room and being in all of the same classes in school. And as of today, it would be the first time since I entered this world that we would be any real length of distance from each other. And it scared me.
You know, when we were still together, people thought we were twins all the time. It was scary how we could pass it off. We looked so much alike, but in the same, so different. Our personalities also seemed to reflect the same ideals. Bella loved the warmth and the sun, but she couldn't get a tan if it meant her life, while I loved the rain and the dark, and had a healthy sun kissed glow. While we both often found ourselves in some sort of danger or trouble, she stumbled across it accidentally, and odds are I had been looking at it. Bella is that of a waiting kitten, while I am more of a playful puppy. Both young and innocent, and harmful in their own way if the right buttons are pushed. Bella is completely oblivious to the world around her, but still cares for it, while I am completely in tune with nature and all of it's creatures.
Sighing, I watched out the window as the warm Phoenix scenery flew by the window in, what might have been a blur, but when concentrated on enough had perfect detail. I could already feel myself breaking down internally without Isabella, and I knew it would only be a matter of time before I compelled myself to do something rash. But when that did happen, and I knew it was going to, it was simply unavoidable, what would happen? I had no idea what my mom would do with me once I fell into a depression. She just refused that it would happen, and that I would be just fine on my own without Bella. Besides, someone had to keep her hair-brain on track, or it could mean total disaster for her and those around her.
When Mom, Phil and I returned to our, now empty feeling home, I sauntered into mine and Bella's room and called the only other person who might have even a chance at brightening my mood in the slightest. I called my fiance, Damien.
He, too, was torn up about all of the things and changes occurring in my family right now. He and Bella had been friends, so he was sad to know that she'd left, and in even less of a mood that I was so effected. And on top of that, Mom, Phil and I were set to move to Jacksonville soon, and since I wasn't old enough to move out on my own yet, I had to go with them, and leave him behind.
As he and I talked on the phone, I glanced down at my left hand, and ever so subtly smiled at the white gold ring with amethyst and sapphire jewels that was perched firmly , but not too tightly, on my right finger. Damien had officially proposed about 2 months ago, but we'd planned on getting married since we were both 15, and now he had just turned 17, and I was due catch up to his age in a few short months.
At the end of the night, I felt slightly better, but not much. I couldn't help but not noticed the absence of Bella's presence all around me. So once I bid my farewell's and I love yous to Damien, I went straight to sleep. Maybe in my dreams I would be able to be with my sister. Maybe in my dreams, she wouldn't have had to leave Phoenix and me behind. Maybe in my dreams, none of these changes would have happened. But at the end of every night, we always had to wake up and face the harsh reality. I had to face that she was gone, and I was leaving Damien; I had to accept that nothing was ever going to be the same again, and that my life had just been turned topsy turvey in a matter of hours, and was only going to get worse.
But what if I didn't want to accept the truth? What if I wanted to live in a world where Bella and I never had to be separated, and where I could live happily with my fiance? What if I'd just decided that a coma was exactly what I needed?
And as I saw the door close slowly behind my elder sister, and the image of her pulling her luggage away from the entrance faded into the crowd of people in the airport, a part of me felt empty. Through our entire lives we had always been together, even through school as, by some miracle, we'd been born in the same year; her birthday in early February, mine in late November. No matter where our family moved, we had insisted upon sharing a room and being in all of the same classes in school. And as of today, it would be the first time since I entered this world that we would be any real length of distance from each other. And it scared me.
You know, when we were still together, people thought we were twins all the time. It was scary how we could pass it off. We looked so much alike, but in the same, so different. Our personalities also seemed to reflect the same ideals. Bella loved the warmth and the sun, but she couldn't get a tan if it meant her life, while I loved the rain and the dark, and had a healthy sun kissed glow. While we both often found ourselves in some sort of danger or trouble, she stumbled across it accidentally, and odds are I had been looking at it. Bella is that of a waiting kitten, while I am more of a playful puppy. Both young and innocent, and harmful in their own way if the right buttons are pushed. Bella is completely oblivious to the world around her, but still cares for it, while I am completely in tune with nature and all of it's creatures.
Sighing, I watched out the window as the warm Phoenix scenery flew by the window in, what might have been a blur, but when concentrated on enough had perfect detail. I could already feel myself breaking down internally without Isabella, and I knew it would only be a matter of time before I compelled myself to do something rash. But when that did happen, and I knew it was going to, it was simply unavoidable, what would happen? I had no idea what my mom would do with me once I fell into a depression. She just refused that it would happen, and that I would be just fine on my own without Bella. Besides, someone had to keep her hair-brain on track, or it could mean total disaster for her and those around her.
When Mom, Phil and I returned to our, now empty feeling home, I sauntered into mine and Bella's room and called the only other person who might have even a chance at brightening my mood in the slightest. I called my fiance, Damien.
He, too, was torn up about all of the things and changes occurring in my family right now. He and Bella had been friends, so he was sad to know that she'd left, and in even less of a mood that I was so effected. And on top of that, Mom, Phil and I were set to move to Jacksonville soon, and since I wasn't old enough to move out on my own yet, I had to go with them, and leave him behind.
As he and I talked on the phone, I glanced down at my left hand, and ever so subtly smiled at the white gold ring with amethyst and sapphire jewels that was perched firmly , but not too tightly, on my right finger. Damien had officially proposed about 2 months ago, but we'd planned on getting married since we were both 15, and now he had just turned 17, and I was due catch up to his age in a few short months.
At the end of the night, I felt slightly better, but not much. I couldn't help but not noticed the absence of Bella's presence all around me. So once I bid my farewell's and I love yous to Damien, I went straight to sleep. Maybe in my dreams I would be able to be with my sister. Maybe in my dreams, she wouldn't have had to leave Phoenix and me behind. Maybe in my dreams, none of these changes would have happened. But at the end of every night, we always had to wake up and face the harsh reality. I had to face that she was gone, and I was leaving Damien; I had to accept that nothing was ever going to be the same again, and that my life had just been turned topsy turvey in a matter of hours, and was only going to get worse.
But what if I didn't want to accept the truth? What if I wanted to live in a world where Bella and I never had to be separated, and where I could live happily with my fiance? What if I'd just decided that a coma was exactly what I needed?