Ghost.

I had been awake far too long. Funny, trying to sleep was keeping me awake. Not to mention the fact that I could practically feel Gerards sobs through the floor.
'For fucks sake' I threw the duvet off me, hot and sticky from fidgeting and made for the door. As soon as my foot came into contact with the carpet Gerards sobs stopped. 'Fuck' I cursed. I didn't wan't him to know that I was to go groveling at his feet for being such a prick. I stopped, and thought.
'Actually' My brain said 'You shouldn't be the one doing the apologising' I nodded in agreement and turned back to my bed. Once I was laid down again. all the thought s of earlier came flooding back. It was almost as if being horizontal made things worse.
I sat up again, putting my head in my hands and listened to the silence. Gerard didn't make a sound all the while I was quiet. Infact everything was so quiet, I couldn't even concentrate on my own thoughts. Things were so quiet i began to worry. Perhaps Gerard has stopped breathing, or choked. I had to go and check.
'Stupid Gerard' I mumbled, taking the duvet with me this time, and forgetting quite why we fell out in the first place.
'I guess I am pretty stupid'
I screamed, letting the duvet fall around my ankles revealing my boxers to the disgruntled looking Gerard.
'Did anyone ever tell you to knock?' I grumbled, picking he duvet up and wrapping myself up on my bed.
'Well the door was open, and you were stood in it, so I can't knock on a door that's not there'
I huffed, Gerard seemed disappointed at his failed attempt to make me smile. 'Can I come in?'
I raised my eyebrow. 'Suit yourself. Don't know whats so good about in here than out there though' I crinkled the sheet between my fingers, suddenly fascinated by the blue material. Gerard sighed, stepping a little into the room. 'I guess' He mumbled 'Cus you're in it'
My heart sort of stopped then, jumping at my ribcage with such force it made me cough a little. 'Ouch' I spluttered.
'What?'
'I said OH' I lied going back to the oh so interesting sheet.
I felt the bed dip a Little beside me as Gerard sat down.
'I'm sorry' He whispered gently next to my ear. Even that little tickle of warm breath forced me to close my eyes for a split second in sheer bliss.
'I can't accept it Gerard. I've heard it to many times' I glanced a him out he corner of my eye. His eyes were set on his feet, and he looked sad and worn out. I could feel him exhale through his nose now he side of my neck.
'I know' He whispered 'I wish I could change that, but it was only because you didn't know..well..you know and now you do. Things can be different for us, better.'
I turned to him now and frowned. 'How can they possibly be better?'
Gerard slowly looked up a me and shrugged.
'I don't trust you' I carried on 'No-one does. I can't tell if you ever telling the truth or not, you're never where you say you are, you're always drunk, and now, you love me? Too right things are different Gee, but they will never ever be better' I dropped the duvet on Gerard and paced over the the door, resting my head roughly on the panel of wood. I heard Gerard swallow.
'When you told me you liked me Gerard.' I spoke slowly into the wood 'It was the best feeling in the world, but when I put the whole situation into context, cloud fucking nine threw me off as quickly as i'd landed' I turned to him, walking over quickly and kneeling to face him. 'This should be perfect, all of it should have been perfect' I whispered, staring into his wet hazel eyes. 'Do you know why?' I asked slowly, keeping his gaze. Gerard shook his head, a tear falling from his left eye and a quite sob escaping his lips.
'Because I love you' I spat, through gritted teeth, holding back a sob that was inevitably going to fall out at any second.
'What?' Gerard cried, hardly believing his ears.
'i fucking love you' I said a Little louder, grabbing his shoulders.
'You do?' He exclaimed, grabbing my arms.
'Yes, yes!' I cried. half laughing, half sobbing with every emotion I could think of.
Gerard laughed, wiping his eyes as i pulled him up and span him round me before pulling him close again. He pressed his forehead to mine, wiping away a few tears left abandoned on my face. We shared the immense euphoria for a few seconds, clutching tightly at each other shoulders, until my hands were lost in his hair and our lips were pressed tightly together. We kept on pulling each other as close as possible, trying, I suppose, to make up for lost time. I was a strange feeling, having Gerards naked torso pressed this close to mine, but it was comforting, and when his tongue brushed softly against mine, I knew for sure this was the right thing for both of us. I found myself leading Gerard slowly back to my unmade bed, and felt that the space between us and the bed was the only thing bringing me back into reality. One we had fallen back into the messy sheets, Gerards soft body was on top of mine, and his lips all over my neck and arms. He grinned when I involuntarily let out a hitched breath when his lips came into contact with my stomach, and grinned even more when he began to slowly roll down my boxers to my ankles. He sat upright, pulling me towards him, discarding our underwear on the floor. He wrapped my legs around him and stroked my cheek.
'Hi' He whispered. His body trembling against mine.
'Hi' I whispered back. He smiled, giving me one long mind blowing kiss before pushing himself into me.
I buried my head into his neck, scrunching up my face to see through the pain. Gerard gripped at the flesh on my back at the sudden friction, and made a tiny noise. He shifted a few times, allowing me to scratch a his back until I drew blood. He shifted again, until eventually;
'Jesus' I exclaimed, my back arching so That my chest was pressed firmly against his.
'Shit yes' Gerard breathed into my ear, pushing his hips harder upwards. I closed my eyes, and dare I say it, I was in heaven.

I exhaled. Opening my eyes slowly. 'Wow' I breathed 'that sounded fucking amazing'. I looked at Gerard, and we both laughed.
'It was Frank, it was amazing' Gerard paused 'I just wish you remembered'
'So do I' I sighed.'I just want to see how it feels, you know....what are you doing' I looked at Gerard, who had floated over me and was hovering suspiciously at my neck.
'Close your eyes' He whispered.
'Gerard seriously I-'
'Just do it'
So I did. I could hear him giggling faintly at my left ear then nothing. For a while I heard and felt nothing, then slowly but surely, I began to feel a presence around my shoulders. Just cool air, and a slight tickling sensation.
'Gerard what are you doing?'
'Just shush Frankie, relax' He whispered. I did as I was told, and soon enough I got what I was waiting for.
'Oh my god' I whispered, as I could feel the sensation of soft fingertips running down my neck and around my shoulders, and the slight warmness of breath as lips grazed my skin. I let the feeling swallow me up as it got more intense, and before long I swore I could feel the slight wet of a tongue there too.
'Gerard, how are you doing this?'
I cried, a grin spreading across my face.
'I'm not' He whispered into my ear with a giggle 'You are'