Ghost.

I closed my eyes, my fingers digging deep into my temples.
'What did you just say?'
I had to double check, it was so late, and time seemed to be creeping by so slowly that I needed to be sure if I was awake or not.
'I didn't say anything' Gerard mumbled. He was sitting up straighter now, and seemed to have regained his mind a little. He sipped at his water.
'No' I said, as if i'd suddenly remembered 'that's right you didn't say anything' I slowly sat down on the floor next to Gerard. I was taking care not to seem to eager or exited, but it was all coming out in one sort of nervous shiver.
'I'm not going to ravish you' Gerard stated. making me jump 'So you don't have to worry'
I laughed nervously, not quite sure what to do with myself. Good job Gerard seemed to have the upper hand here.
'So I like you huh? Isn't that funny' He chuckled. I wasn't laughing. 'Oh' He whispered on seeing my face 'I guess it isn't as funny as I thought'
'No, not really' I said blankly, suddenly remembering why we were here in the first place.
'Why'd you have to be so retarded about it?' I exclaimed. 'Any normal person would tell someone, not refuse to go to prom then bombard it, twice'
Gerard made a big deal about sipping his water before looking directly at me.
'Why are you not freaking out?' He said in tiny voice.
'Because I...I don't actually know' I thought a while, about everything and for some reason everything seemed to slot into place. 'Holy shit' I jumped up.
'What is it?' Gerard panicked 'Whats wrong'
'You like me' I cried.
'Yes..but' Gerard got up, trying to grab hold of my arm. 'Not that much'
'Oh my god, get off me' I backed away into the counter, praying for some escape, but there was none.
'Frank, you're freaking out' Gerard said sternly, I half expected him to put his hands on his hips as well
'To right I am. I don't get you at all' I shouted 'You're meant to be my best friend, but you've ruined far too many days to count, and now you go on drop this bombshell on me' I was sweating, all the anger from the past 17 years of my life was being vented in Gerard's direction and I couldn't stop it. 'Well, you know what. You can go and be gay somewhere else Gerard, cus I don't need you' I sopped, just enough to watch Gerards face crumple at my harsh words. My eyes started to sting and I couldn't even look a him anymore, so I ran. I ran to my room, slammed and locked the door. Punching it just to make a point, leaving Gerard to curl up in a ball on my kitchen floor.

'I said that?' I was shocked, and angry with myself. 'Why would I do that?'
'You were angry Frankie, who could blame you?' Gerard lay flat out on the grass and stared up at the sky.
'I know, but it was stupid'
'No I was stupid. I know I shouldn't have told you. Well, at least not like that' Gerard laughed to himself and glanced a me.
'What?' I asked. Gerard just laughed a bit more in response making me smile. 'Come on tell me'
'It's nothing' Gerard was giggling and blushing like a little girl.
'It's something, and its making you blush so tell me'
'Ok ok ok' Gerard cleared his throat then grinned.
'Oh my god just say it already'
'Ok well..well it's like this'
'GERARD'
'Right, Ok well. I'd kind of planned how i wanted to tell you,l and it wasn't like that'
I felt my cheeks grow hot, and I came over all giddy. 'Oh, I see' I muttered 'So, how did you?'
'Well' Gerard said, edging towards me until I could feel his icy presence on my face. 'wanted to bring you here' He continued in a soft whisper 'I wanted to sit like this, and talk about everything, then lie back, on the grass, and watch the stars, just like this' He lay back on the grass again, making me do the same. 'I'd steal glances at you every now and then of course' Gerard giggled, looking at me quickly. 'After we get bored of that, i'd roll onto my side, so I could look a you, and nothing else. Then i'd stare into your eyes like this' Gerard looked at me then, like i'd never seen before. I felt this strange sensation shoot up through my whole body, making me grin like a maniac. 'Thats just the feeling I'd want you to feel' Gerard said, as if reading my mind. His eyes flickered then, and he smiled. 'I would mean that I'd be allowed to kiss you' I kept Gerards gaze as long as I could, hoping I could get across to him somehow what I was feeling. 'I'd really like that' I breathed. Gerards face fell then, and his eyes lost contact with mine. 'Oh' I said 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean..'
'It's ok' Gerard mumbled 'I wish I could too' He rolled into his back again. 'I don't even see why you're bothering with me. I'm dead meat' He huffed, folding his arms.
'How can you say that?' I exclaimed 'You were..are one of the most amazing people I know, and my minds Lost you once, but I'm not losing you again'
Gerard remained still.
'Gerard I..' I sighed. 'Gerard, I don't understand how no-one else can see you, see how beautiful you are, or even hear you tell them how much I mean to you. I can't get my head around the fact I can't even touch you, or kiss you, or even hug you. I hate it, I hate it so much, it's the worst thing in the world. But I'm not letting it go. I'm going to do everything I can to go back and make it right. I promise'
Gerard sat up. 'I knew that already, but, it's going to get harder before it gets easier. I got a lot more to tell you, and a lot more for you to remember'