The Federation

“After we find you a dress and some shoes, I want to stop by Victoria’s Secret, surprise Matt tonight when he congratulates me on a great concert,” Amy announced as we stood in a dress shop in a local mall.

“Amy, we don’t have a concert tonight,” I told her. She just frowned, pulling a lavender halter dress off the rack and holding it up to my body.

“Well, then he can congratulate me on last night’s concert,” Amy said with a nod.

“We didn’t have a concert last night, either,” I pointed out.

“You know what, Asher, you little smarty pants, I don’t give a flying fuck when we last had a concert! I’m fucking Matt hard tonight, and I don’t even need a damn reason!” Amy exclaimed, causing everyone in the store to look around at her with raised eyebrows. I laughed and shook my head, wandering away to glance through the shoes towards the back of the store.

“I’m glad I don’t hang out on your bus,” I admitted, walking along the shelves of shoes looking for one that might inspire a color of a dress for me to wear.

“Actually, we’re renting a hotel room,” Amy said, following behind me but keeping a lookout for a good dress. “Then we can, you know, go crazy without disturbing my band mates or hearing about it the next morning from his band mates.”

“That’s the kind of image I want in my head during my date with Carter tonight,” I said sarcastically. That’s why we were shopping in a dress shop, as opposed to Hot Topic: Carter and I were going on a date. Amy took it upon herself to help me find a new, sexy dress in an attempt to see just how long Carter would be able to stay in his pants.

“Hey, maybe you should look for something in Vicki’s Secret, too,” Amy said, brightening suddenly. I rolled my eyes. “No, hear me out. And then you could be like, ‘Oh, no, I’ve ripped my dress, and look what’s underneath!’” She mimed grabbing the bodice of her invisible dress and tearing it down to reveal the lingerie beneath. “I would so do it to Matt. Of course, then he might start humping my leg like a dog.”

We both paused to contemplate that mental image. At the exact same time, we burst into laughter.

“I’m not seeing anything I want,” I announced after we’d laughed for a good minute straight, holding onto each other so we wouldn’t fall down.

“Let’s go somewhere else, then,” Amy said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me from the store.

~~~~~

Amy and I took a break at lunch time to eat a little something in the food court. We’d finally found me a dress and some shoes. Amy had deemed me “fuckable” and that was the scale upon which we bought my dress. She was still completely serious about going to Victoria’s Secret; we planned on doing that after we ate, and then we would go back to the buses so Amy could do my makeup and hair so that I wouldn’t only be fuckable, but—in her own words—“worth staying the morning after for”.

Lunch would’ve been no doubt more pleasant if she hadn’t brought up Jimmy.

“So, there’s really not much of a chance that you and Jimmy will become friends again?” Amy asked as she dunked her French fries into a vat of ketchup. I looked up from my grilled chicken sandwich and slowly shook my head no.

Amy fell silent on the subject for a few minutes. I ate in silence as well, going over in my mind the last month that had passed since I’d punched Jimmy in the nose.

There was no other word for it: our relationship had exploded since then. Whenever we somehow get within speaking range of each other, we hurl cruel insults at each other and bicker like an old married couple over the silliest things. Last time we argued, I think we ended up screaming at each other about whether or not Tinkerbell was a hootchie momma. The rest of Avenged Sevenfold and Amy, along with the assistance of Carter, had taken it upon themselves to always keep a good distance between Jimmy and I, just to keep the peace. Mostly it worked, but sometimes we slipped under their radars and more than a couple of times Jimmy nearly got his face punched in by me. He had kicked me in the shin once. I still had a bruise, right below my knee.

“I’ve begun to develop a solid hatred against him,” I told Amy. She looked up from her hamburger, looking surprised that I was voluntarily talking about this. “I hate his tall fucking guts.”

“Solid hatred?” Amy repeated with a frown. I nodded.

“But, despite it all, I’m growing closer and closer to Carter each and every day,” I said. “He can always calm me down the quickest after I’ve had a scuffle with Jimmy. It’s like the part of my heart that loved Jimmy has slowly begun to fill with love of Carter, and it’s pushing all my love for Jimmy out. Carter is beginning to replace Jimmy in my heart.”

“And you’re not upset about that?” Amy asked, her frown deepening so much that it caused massive wrinkles in her forehead.

“A little,” I admitted. “But Jimmy and I are over. I think my heart is realizing it, too.”

“Just know that whatever happens, I’m always here for you,” Amy said, reaching across the table to rest a hand on my arm. I smiled and nodded, reaching over my free hand and resting it over hers.

“I know, Amy, and I appreciate it,” I replied.

“Well, enough about this sad business,” Amy said, becoming cheery again. She began to gather up her trash. “Let’s go get me some sexy lingerie so we can go and sex you up already.”