The Federation

“What’s wrong with my ashy little rockstar?” Carter cooed, falling back across the arm of the couch so that his head came to a rest in my lap with the rest of his long, lanky body sprawled across the rest of the couch. I smiled sadly, running my fingers gently through his soft blond hair. He didn’t spike it until the concert, usually. I liked it better when it wasn’t hardened and stiff with gel, though.

“Is that a jab at my complexion?” I joked without much enthusiasm, leaning forward so that our foreheads rested together perpendicular to each other. I stared down into one baby blue eye, softer and bluer than Jimmy’s, while my other eye was met with his pale blond hair. We blinked at the same time, and our eyelashes nearly collided.

“No,” Carter answered with a grin. “I just want to know what’s wrong.”

“It’s a long, sad story,” I warned.

“I’ve got tissues,” Carter said instantly, his cheerfulness a nice relief. His feelings were contagious to me. I caught them quickly.

We’d only been on tour for a week, and already Carter and I had forged a steadfast friendship. He was like the brother I never had, except a whole lot better than a brother. He was sweet, cute, and extremely understanding. Without fail, he knew what to say and when to say it. I needed a lot of cheering up lately. Jimmy still hadn’t dropped the bitchy mood, see.

Carter and I always hung out on my bus. Normally, I would’ve hung out with Amy more, but she usually stayed with Matt on the tour bus of Avenged Sevenfold. I knew I couldn’t trust myself to be in such close proximity to Jimmy, or else some brawl might go down. I really didn’t want to make Jimmy cry in front of his friends. Well, maybe a little humiliation might straighten him up, the little bitch.

I’d been feeling a little blue for most of that day. Despite his recent PMS, I still missed Jimmy as a friend. He’d always been there for me at the Legion. We survived being kidnapped by the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus together. We’d escaped together. We’d taken them down together. There wasn’t anything else you could do with comradeship like that. Jimmy and I had ties to each other. Severing them was like trying to cut barbed wire with safety scissors. But yet, that’s what we were trying to do. And I was feeling the effects of all those bent scissors. If only we hadn’t dated...

“Well, once upon a colorful fucking rainbow, Jimmy and I were best friends—dating, even,” I began after a deep breath. “Then, the rain stopped and the sun went down, and the colorful fucking rainbow disappeared. Our relationship disappeared right with it.”

“Why?” Carter asked curiously.

“I still don’t know,” I admitted. “I tell everyone that we just preferred the casual relationship we had before, but that’s not entirely true. Anyone with eyeballs and a brain can tell that Jimmy and I aren’t as happy and contented with the break-up as we let everyone assume. We started out strong, all lovey-dovey and rainbows and unicorns and bunny rabbits, but then towards the end it just imploded upon itself. I can’t really pinpoint why.”

“Relationships do that sometimes,” Carter said soothingly, reaching up to brush his palm gently against my hair. “Sometimes, it’s not anyone’s fault. It just happens. One day, colorful fucking rainbows, the next, dead Smurfs turning purple with blood.”

I smiled, raising my head and pressing a grateful kiss to Carter’s forehead.

“I’m glad I have you, my Cartums Boo,” I cooed, wrapping my arms around his torso. Carter hugged back, smiling into my hair.

“That James Sullivan hasn’t a clue what the hell he’s missing in you,” Carter replied.

Yeah, Carter really helped me when I felt down. He was a lot like Jimmy. Only one problem.

He wasn’t Jimmy.