Guide Me Home

December 26th

This is my last entry.

I think I’ve actually sorted my life out now so I no longer need the diary. Nor do I need a therapist.

I have absolutely everything I need and he’s currently making us some hot chocolate.

The truth is, I probably could’ve fixed myself a long time ago but deep down inside I didn’t want to. I wanted someone else to fix me instead. I wanted a knight in shining armour to sweep me off my feet and heal my broken heart.

But I’d already found my knight in shining armour. Then I’d waited until he was sleeping, kicked him off his horse, stolen it and trampled on his heart while I was running away from him.

Then I came back and he was still there- Waiting.

Waiting for me to come home because he knew I would.

Because he is my home. There’s no place in the world like it and, no matter what, people always come home eventually.

So here I am and I don’t intend on leaving it again.

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Ella closed the small red notebook as Kennedy re-entered the living room. She smiled at him as he handed her a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream covering the top and small marshmallows embedded in it.

“Thanks,” She placed the cup on the edge of the fireplace.

Kennedy sat down on the floor behind her so she was sat between his legs. She cuddled into him after he’d placed his cup down. He pulled the blanket around his shoulders and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into the blanket too.

She felt his lips against her head and tried not to smile.

They sat quietly and listened to the flames crackling beside them in the fire.

They’d gone out earlier that day for a walk when the heaven’s had opened and they got absolutely drenched while making their way home. They’d dried off slightly with towels when they got back to Kennedy’s house and Ella borrowed a too-big shirt from him.

“We should remember to check the weather forecast next time we decide to go out for a walk,” She mumbled as a shiver ran through her body.

Kennedy’s grip tightened on her in an attempt to warm her up, “I think that’s a good idea. But it was a lot of fun walking round in the rain,”

“Yeah,” She agreed with a blissful sigh.

They fell into a comfortable silence once again.

“What’s that?” Kennedy pointed to the small notebook Ella had put on the fireplace.

“My diary,” She replied, glancing at it.

“I didn’t know you kept a diary,” He lied.

She shrugged lightly, “I don’t usually, it’s just since I got back here,” She reached for his hand and began to play with his fingers, “My therapist told me I should use it while I’m here and I can’t go to her sessions,” She shrugged in reply.

“Oh right...”

She glanced up at him, “You don’t seem shocked that I was seeing a therapist,”

“I... Uh...” He sighed, not being able to think of a reason why he would possibly know that other than the truth, “Jared told me,”

“I knew he’d read my diary!” She exclaimed.

“He didn’t mean to. It was open on the table. He didn’t know it was your diary,” Kennedy defended.

She rolled her eyes, “Fine,”

“So, did your diary help?”

“Yeah, it did a bit,” She nodded, still staring at the book, “I needed it to help me talk through my thoughts. I needed a way to release and work through everything while I was here. I needed to write down everything I was feeling about you so that it didn’t come spilling out my mouth... Or out my eyes,” She murmured, “But, you know what?”

“What?” He whispered in her ear.

“I don’t need it anymore,” She replied, reaching forwards and taking the notebook in her hand. She opened it, collected all the pages she’d written on in one hand and tore them out, throwing them onto the fire. She put the book onto the fireplace again and settled back into Kennedy’s arms.

“Was there stuff about me in there?” He enquired, resting his mouth against the top of her shoulder.

She nodded, “Yeah,”

He let out a quiet laugh through his nose, “Probably a lot of stuff about how you hate me,” He spoke against her skin.

“Hate is a strong word,” She replied, reaching up to stroke his cheek while still facing the fire, “I never once mentioned the word hate in relation to you,” She reassured, “I could never hate you. I never wanted to hate you. Mainly because I could never stop loving you enough to even consider it,”

She felt his lips twitch into a smile against her skin as he kissed her neck, “I know how you feel,” He mumbled.

She smiled to herself.

“I know I keep saying it, Ellie, but you have no idea how happy I am that you’re back,” The emotion in his voice made Ella’s heart swell.

She pulled slightly away from him and looked up at him with a smile, pressing her lips to his, “I’m happy to finally be home,” She whispered as their lips parted.

He smiled, resting his forehead on hers and closing his eyes.

When the word came out of Ella’s mouth, she was surprised at how right it felt.

She hadn’t said the word ‘home’ and meant it for two years.

But, the truth was, she’d realised now that ‘home’ wasn’t meant to be a label for a house, a city, a country or even a continent. ‘Home’ was the place where she felt the safest. ‘Home’ was where she felt the most comfortable. ‘Home’ was where she felt loved.

And she didn’t feel safer, more comfortable or more loved anywhere else other than Kennedy Brock’s arms.

He was her everything and in his embrace she could take anything life could possibly throw at her.

It didn’t matter what she’d done to him- how much she’d hurt him- he’d waited here for her because he knew this was where she belonged.

And no matter how far she went or how long she went for, he’d still be here. Waiting.

He was her beacon. Her light. Her guide.

And as long as he was waiting, she’d always come back to him.

She would always come home.

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'And When I Look At You, Baby, Something Seems To Whisper Home To Me'

Tyler Hilton