Crash Into My ***ing Arms

My consciousness returned to the unpleasant feeling of someone poking anxiously at my forearm. ‘‘Fucking christ...” I muttered, still half-asleep, rolling over to escape the discomfort.

The prodding still continued. “Gee...”

“Fuck off!” I moaned, but sat up abruptly, shoving the covers down to my waist. Blinking at the sunlight filtering through the blinds, I realized that Frankie was standing beside the bed, pouting slightly. I smiled a little and sighed reluctantly. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

Frankie grinned, and the mattress bounced as he sat down next to me. “Sleep well?”

“Better than you... no nightmares,” I said guiltily.

He nodded, more serious for a minute, but then his smile returned. “What do you wanna do today before you go home?”

Uh... Fuck you? Couldn’t say that. I shrugged. “Whatever you want.”

“Can we get ice cream?”

Not the first thought that had come to my mind, but Frankie looked so excited about it that the enthusiasm was contagious. “Sure. The closest place is back down by the theater, so I guess we can walk.”

‘‘Okay!”

I got out of bed and stretched, then collected the room key and my cellphone before joining Frankie at the door.

We checked out at the office, where a completely different man was watching the front desk, then started back the way we’d come the day before.

The ice cream place was nearly empty because it had been raining so heavily the day before, and temperatures had dropped. The girl behind the counter looked up from her homework as we walked in, then got up and came over. Her name tag read ‘Tanya.’

“Can I help you?”

I looked at Frankie.

He grinned. “Can I have chocolate? In a cone? With sprinkles?”

“You sure can,” Tanya said, amusement in her voice.

“Lots of sprinkles,” Frankie added seriously.

“Lots of sprinkles it is.” She turned to me. “And you?”

“Vanilla. Um, no sprinkles.”

Next to me, Frank looked disappointed.

I melted. “Alright, alright. I want sprinkles too.”

“Lots of ‘em.”

“Yeah, Frankie. Lots of them.”

After we had paid, I followed Frankie outside to a park bench on the cement of the sidewalk and sat down. He leaned his head on my shoulder and licked his ice cream cone slowly.

Fuck. That was erotic. I tried to turn my attention to my own purchase, but I kept glancing back to Frank and his stupid chocolate ice cream cone.

Finally, he caught me staring and shot me a wide grin. “Is it me, or do you just wish you’d bought chocolate?”

“Fuck, Frankie. You’re too goddamn sexy.”

His smile grew even more, and he scooted closer to me, leaning down towards my ice cream. “If you’re not gonna eat it...” He took a big lick, smearing vanilla all over his mouth. “Damn. Got a napkin?”

“I’ve got a better idea.” I bent my neck and kissed his sticky lips.

“Mmm, that is better.” He went back to his own ice cream with another wide smile in my direction.

We sat there together in silence for a while, but there was something on my mind that I had to ask him.

“Hey, Frankie?”

“Yeah?”

“D’you really forgive me for... what I did?”

His eyes were wide with sincerity. “Honest, Gee. I do.”

“But you can’t possibly have right away...”

He nodded. “It hurt a lot at first... I was confused, and I couldn’t even believe it... I kept thinking, why the fuck me? Why do the people who are s’posed to love me always hurt me?” He swallowed. “But Gee, you came back for me... You saved me. You came back and you drove me home, and you saved my f-fucking life. And I still loved you and everything.”

“Look... I’ve done a lot of shitty things, to myself and other people, but hurting you... That was the worst mistake of my life.”

“Everybody makes mistakes, Gerard. Maybe you don’t know, but you’ve done so much good stuff for me too. It doesn’t matter about my dad now ‘cause I’ve got you... It still hurts, but I know you’ll help me.” He brushed my hair out of my face, then kissed me gently.

I sighed. “God, I love you. You know I’d do anything for you.”

“Help me find an apartment?” he teased.

“If you want.”

“Maybe I can just sleep on your floor.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said sarcastically. “Mikey would love it.”

“Can I have his room?” Frankie grinned.

“No, maybe you and I can share... We’re pretty close.”

He smirked, leaning over for another lick of my ice cream. “We’d keep Mikey awake, though.”

“Not if you’d stop giving me those sex eyes, fucker...”

Frankie grinned mischievously as I reached over and ruffled his hair, leaning his head back on my arm and snuggling close on the park bench.

He was mine. Finally, after everything, Frankie was mine and I loved him, and I was never ever going to let him go, or let him get hurt.

“Do you really love me?” he murmured softly, in a voice that said he already knew the answer.

“More than I ever thought I’d love anyone, ever. God, I just wish that there wasn’t so much shit in between... everything I’ve done to you... everything your father’s done to you...”

“Let’s just forget about it, Gee,” Frankie whispered as his warm fingers found mine. “Please. I wanna pretend that it’s just us two; that love is everything they talk about, pain and hope and lust and chemicals and revenge, and hearts and guns and bloodstains and ‘I love you’s’ and rainclouds and candy hearts... Just you and me, forever, like that.”

“We’re never gonna make it, Frankie...” I murmured quietly.

“Yeah we will, Gee,” he told me honestly, staring straight into my eyes as if he couldn’t understand why I had so little faith. “Yeah we will.”

For a second, I almost believed him.

The End