Crash Into My ***ing Arms

Almost an hour and twenty minutes had passed, and the thick layer of duct-tape was only half peeled from the glass. Where the tape had been removed were jagged glass edges heavily covered in sticky adhesive.

I sighed and leaned back to fight the ache in my neck, taking a drink from the bottle of beer that Frank had offered me earlier.

“Sorry,” he murmured from beside me. “I didn’t know it would be this tough...”

“It’s fine... At least you didn’t have to do it all by yourself, right?”

He smiled quietly at me and nodded.

Before I could say anything else, the telephone rang, and Frank got unsteadily to his feet to answer it.

I followed slowly behind him to the entrance of a dirty kitchen, a few messy stacks of chipped dishes on the counters. He was facing away from me, and even though I couldn’t hear a voice from the other end of the line, the way his shoulders were tensing like someone had kicked him in the ribs gave me the clue that somebody was yelling.

“D-dad... No. No, I swear to god-” He broke off and whimpered.

I watched. I knew what he would have done for me; he had done it just that morning, when I had turned away from him, fighting emotion. I wanted to go up to him, put an arm around his shoulders, tell him it was okay... I was frozen to the spot.

“F-fuck-” Frank finally choked helplessly through tears, and I felt a sharp pain under my ribs.

I came up behind him as he doubled over, sobbing, phone clattering to the floor, and wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders. “I gotcha. I gotcha.”

He leaned against me tiredly, tears trickling down his cheeks, locking his arms around the back of my neck as he turned to face me. “G-gerard-”

“It’s gonna be okay...” I wasn’t sure what to tell him.

“I hope so...” he moaned into my shoulder, taking some shuddering deep breaths.

“It’s not your fault, Frankie, I promise...” My stomach hurt. “You have to trust me.”

“I d-do.”

“Mmkay... You ready to go back to work?”

He sniffled and nodded, lifting his head from my chest. “Let’s go.”

We kept working on the window in relative silence, and by the time I’d been through two beers total, I was starting to get sick of the job. Still, I knew why I was doing it- for Frankie. It was the least little thing I could do.

Suddenly, Frankie gasped sharply, and I turned to see blood trickling down his sliced fingers to his wrist.

“Shit,” I muttered. He was starting to panic, I could see it in his eyes. “It’s okay, it’s okay...”

He took a breath and swallowed, nodding. “Okay.”

I took his hand gently in both of mine. “Does it hurt?”

He nodded shakily again, biting his bottom lip. It suddenly struck me how cute he looked like that.

Very slowly, I brought his cut fingers to my lips and kissed them gently. Blood colored my lips with crimson. “Better?”

“Yeah...” he whispered.

Barely thinking about what I was doing, I put the fingers in my mouth, carefully sucking off the blood.

Frankie gave a little shudder, then his scared eyes met mine and he let out a hiccupy giggle, accompanied by a painfully shy smile.

“You okay?” I murmured around his fingers, warm breath meeting his skin. I could taste his blood, sickly sweet and coppery, coating my tongue and the back of my throat.

He nodded yet another time, then slowly giggled again, making me smile too. “G-gerard?”

“Hmmpth?”

He laughed as I tried to talk around his fingers, and I grinned. I loved his smile. I loved it, loved it, loved it. I thought something inside me might burst.

“You’re so amazing,” Frankie mumbled, and I let his fingers go just to lean forward so that I could kiss him.

He smiled widely and scooted backwards, so that I had to chase him.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh?”

He giggled and got up, moving away from me. I stood and grabbed for him, my weight knocking both of us off balance and over the back of the living room couch. I ended up lying on top of him on the cushions, the almost feverish heat of his body radiating through his shirt and flowing into me. Barely thinking on any level but a physical one, I kissed him hard on the mouth, tongues meeting briefly, only to have him twist out from under me and scramble back behind the couch, smiling devilishly.

“Hey, come back here, motherfucker,” I ordered with a smirk, sitting up and crossing my arms. Before I could turn to see what he was doing, he’d launched himself over the back of the couch again, tumbling onto my shoulders with his arms wrapped tightly around me, sending us both to the floor laughing. Both my hands were working his shirt up over his head so that I could run my hands along the skin of his back.

“Mmm, you smell nice,” he murmured, face buried in my hair so that his lips were against my neck.

“Kiss me, sexy...” I murmured back in reply, and he grinned, shaking his head so that ebony bangs fell into his eyes and rolling over on his back.

“Nuh-uh, come and get it.”

With an mock indignant gasp, I crawled over so that I was on all fours beside him, then lifted him up into a sitting position by the shoulders, pulling him into my arms and kissing his neck.

He tugged my t-shirt over my head and trailed his tongue seductively across my collarbone, making me shiver. Despite the playfulness, I knew it was lust that was taking control of me. He looked so sweet with that lopsided grin on his face... I knew that I had to be careful not to hurt him.

He was nibbling gently on my ear, and I laughed. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Sexing you...” he whispered with a straight face, then dissolved into giggles which I couldn’t help but grin at the innocence and childish mischief of. The sound of a car door slamming splintered the room, and Frankie froze, a look of pure terror in his beautiful eyes. My heart skipped a beat uncomfortably. I thought he was going to start crying out of blind panic and fear, but suddenly the look on his face changed. He grabbed my hand tightly and tugged me to my feet, barely giving me time to grab my crumpled shirt from the floor in one hand.

He was pulling me towards the back door, then outside, where he pushed me against the brick wall and kissed me, hard. I returned the kiss with the same force, letting my shirt fall back to the ground, forgotten. Skin met skin, lips met lips, lips met skin... I needed him like I had never needed anyone else, and all the desperation I felt was going into the way our lips were pressed together, my hands sliding over his shoulderblades, ribcage, hips like I couldn’t get enough of his slightly sweaty body.

I pushed his hair roughly out of his eyes and kissed him, hands brushing his unbuckled belt. God, if his father came outside for some reason... The thought of that horror only intensified the urgency I could feel in Frankie’s hot lips dancing up my neck. I ran my fingers around his waist from his abdomen to the small of his back, and he moaned. The combined body heat we were constantly exchanging was enough to keep away the slight chill in the fall air.

“God, god, god, Gerard-”

“What is it-” I breathed out sharply as one of his hands slid down my spine. “-Frankie?”

“If I tell you something, will it... scare you?”

“Scare me? Frankie, what could you say that would-” My words were momentarily lost on his perfect lips. “-scare me?”

“This might.”

“Tell me. Anything. It’s okay.” I pulled him even closer, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist and squeezing so that our heartbeats seemed to combine into one.

“I think that I love you,” he whispered, so quietly that I might have missed it... except that those three words, the most over-used words in the world- I never could have missed those.

“Oh god,” I breathed quietly. I was shocked, but I didn’t let him go.

“Gerard?” he whimpered anxiously.

I wanted him to smile again. I loved his smile. I... I loved him. “Frankie, Frankie, I love you too, oh god, I love you... I do. I really do...”

We kissed again, and this time, when I tasted tears on his face, I knew it wasn’t out of hurt. “Oh baby.”

“Mmm...” He snuggled against me as I leaned against the brick of his house, kissing his neck gently, almost absently. I was fucking in love with him. Damn.

Frankie pulled back from me slightly, my hands still holding his waist, almost protectively. “He’ll have seen your car,” he said quietly.

Dread washed over me. “Hell, Frankie, god, I’m-”

“It’s okay, he probably didn’t even notice... If he did, I’ll just make something up... D’you wanna go somewhere?”

I let my eyes wander down his body, then back up, and long before our eyes even met, I knew my answer. “Yeah,” I murmured throatily, all the feeling building up inside me put into that syllable. I wanted him. I wanted him so bad.

Frankie had buckled his belt and was pulling his shirt on, and I found mine on the ground and did the same. He took my hand again, sweaty fingers gripping mine tightly, leading me around the side of his house. With a quick glance at the front window, he broke into a run for my car, which I’d left unlocked.

I turned on the ignition and shot out of the driveway hopefully before Frank’s father could look up, turning off the street as soon as possible. “Where are we going, Frankie?”

“Anywhere, somewhere... That bar.”

“What?”

“The bar, the one where you found me...”

I knew what he wanted, and the second my car turned into the dirty back parking lot of the seedy bar where I had picked Frank up from a mess on the concrete just a day ago, I parked and looked at him. “Frankie.”

The sky outside was getting dark, and his face was shadowy. “I want you.”

“I want you too, Frank... God-” I choked on emotion, lust suddenly becoming tangible enough to close my throat, to take control of me. I grabbed his shoulders and dragged him closer, pressing his back against the dashboard as I leaned over him and brought my mouth forcefully to his. His hand wandered up my spine, but I knew he could tell something was different. The force in my kiss was no longer due to desperation, but rather to something a lot darker. I wanted him, I fucking needed him, and I was going to have him, hard.

I lifted his back from the plastic of the dashboard and pulled his t-shirt over his neck and head. When I had it off, I let his shoulders fall with a thump. His stiftled whimper as his ribcage was briefly knocked out of alignment made my breathing quicken.

I ran both hands down his chest, making him squirm slightly, leaning over and kissing his neck. I was moving quickly, but he was doing his best to respond in kind, kissing me back as I bent over him, trying to kiss my ear like he had before, the hint of a hopeful smile on his face.

I didn’t laugh this time; I preferred feeling the skin of his neck and chest under my lips than seeing him grin, and I began unbuckling his belt hurriedly, hips knocking momentarily against his thin ones. I was breathing heavily as I unzipped his jeans, and I knew that he could see that there was nothing in my eyes. No playfulness... no love.

I jerked him roughly up from his reclining position and he fell against me. I wrapped my arms tightly around his back and brought my lips to the soft skin of his neck. He moaned, and I opened my mouth, teeth grazing his throat, making him draw in a breath quickly. I kissed his neck harder, then bit the skin, causing him to try and pull back. My arms were holding him too tightly, and the next time my teeth made contact with his skin, he whimpered. “G-gerard, d-don’t.”

I didn’t listen, only breathed in the scent of him deeper, cocaine and sweat and fear, then bit his neck again, leaving red tooth marks in his skin. Lips on skin, I could feel the pulse beneath his jawbone against my cheek, the fluid running along his veins, and I suddenly wanted to break the rhythm. He let out a quiet cry of pain as I pressed our bodies together and closed my mouth... With my teeth sinking just barely into his neck, I could actually taste blood filling my mouth, trickling down slowly from where my lips rested towards his fragile collarbone.

I could feel him shaking in my arms, badly frightened.

“G-gerard, gerard, s-stop it-”

The sound of his scared voice only made my muscles tighten further with needing him, and I caressed his neck with both hands, then dragging them down his back, smearing blood past his shoulderblades and down to the small of his back, stopping just above the edge of his low jeans. There were streaks of blood on my face as I pushed him back, it was covering my lips and chin in sticky smudges...

Frankie’s breathing was irregular with panic and confusion, mine with desire and need. I unzipped my jeans and moaned quietly, roughly spinning him so that his bloody back was towards me and pushing his shoulders forward so that the breath was knocked out of him and his chin hit the plastic, bent over the car dashboard at the waist.

I pulled down Frankie’s jeans and boxers with my hands, exposing beautiful hipbones and pale skin, pressing hard against him. His voice was getting more and more panicked as he tried to writhe away.

“Gerard-!”

But there was nowhere to go in the small car, and I had him where I wanted him now.

I shoved Frankie’s shoulders back down as he struggled to lift his head, one arm pinned uncomfortably under him. “Gerard, stop it, stop it; you’re hurting me, I’m scared, p-please, stop, stop it!” His pleading words were hysterical, choked with the same tears that were running down his face, collecting in a pool on the dashboard, then smeared by his cheek as I pushed his head back down.

I ran my hands down his back again, smearing sticky crimson along his flexing spine. I could hear his loud gasps for breath. The windows of the car were foggy, but I knew it was raining from the sound of heavy droplets pounding the car windows from outside.

“G-gerard, Gerard-” Frankie choked as I interrupted his words. “Oh-” He let out a strangled gasp.

“Just...give...in...” I muttered with effort, and he choked on a sob. He couldn’t fight me, he wanted me too; I knew it and I knew I had him.

The warm air smelled like a crush of blood and cocaine powder and sweat and I moaned, heartbeat racing. I was raking my nails down his back; Frankie was screaming, one hand reaching out towards the windshield with curling fingers; I caught it in mine and dragged it slowly back down the dashboard. I felt my stomach collapse; my eyes rolled back, my thoughts shut down as my heart exploded beneath my ribs and something under my skull exploded in a flash of scarlet.

Suddenly my muscles went limp and I leaned against Frankie’s heaving body and the dashboard for support, waiting for my breathing to stabilize.

Frankie pushed me off of him, and I fell back against the carseat upholstery as he clumsily struggled to pull his jeans up and then grabbed for the handle of the car door, tears on his face. A rush of cold air and a faint spray of rain entered the car as he shoved the door open and staggered outside, holding his stomach with one hand as he tried to get his thin shirt over his blood-smeared shoulders with the other.

“Where the hell are you goin-” My delayed reaction was to climb over into the driver’s seat towards him, but he slammed the door closed with shaking fingers, cutting me off. I cranked the window down. “What the hell-”

“Just GO!” he screamed wildly into the wind, rain plastering his bangs to his forehead, stumbling backwards so that my outstretched hand, fingers stained with his own blood, couldn’t reach him.

I turned the car on and pressed hard on the gas pedal. I left him there, wet shirt clinging to his chest like another layer of skin, tortured eyes filled with terror and some kind of sickness.

I just left him.