I'll Tear Down the Stars for You

I groggily opened my eyes to stare at a blurred wall. How did I get home? I don’t know. The last thing I remember is sitting at the bar last night.

Shit. What the fuck did I do last night?

I slowly stood up from my bed, my entire body feeling like a whirlwind as everything spun around me. I grabbed hold of the door to keep my balance as I slowly but surely walked out of my bedroom, grabbing the closest things to me. The spinning began to calm down as I began to walk down the stairs step by step. I’ll make it to the bottom... one day.

Finally reaching the kitchen, I opened one of the cupboard doors and got out the first aid kit, rummaging through it for the paracetomol. Popping the lid open, I dug out two of the tablets and placed them on the kitchen worktop, filling a glass cup with water and swallowing the two tablets, shaking my head as I felt the tables run down my throat.

“Mom! Come in here!” Pouring the left over water into the sink and placing the cup in the dishwasher, I left the kitchen and walked into the living room to meet Megan and her band members.

“Hey guys. How’s it going?” I asked, sitting on the sofa.

“It’s going great, Miss Burnes,” Elliot smiled at me.

“Please. This goes to all of you, call me Ebony. Just not Miss Burnes. I hate it, it makes me feel like some old witch who hates children,” I chuckled, wishing I hadn’t when my head began to pound from the noise.

“Mom you look really tired and out of it,” Megan sat beside me on the sofa and patted my shoulder.

“Thanks for kindly saying I look terrible,” I grumbled at Megan, earning a laugh from the 4 boys stood in front of me. “My headddddd,” I moaned, hiding my head in my hands.

“Sorry Ebony,” Joey smirked.

“Yeah anyway. Mom, we wrote an acoustic song. Could you listen to it and tell us if we should put it on the album or not?” Megan asked, jumping up from the sofa.

“Just an acoustic song? No drums or anything?” I asked, slowly raising my head.

“No drums,” she smiled, helping me up from the sofa and taking me to the conservatory where all the instruments are. Megan stood in front of the microphone while Mike and Jake grabbed a couple of stools and sat on either side of Megan, Joey and Elliot standing beside me.

“We called it 6 months. Explanation at the end,” Megan grinned at me and waited for Mike to count in. Both Mike and Jake began playing the same chords at the same time, creating a stronger side. And then in came Megan with her soothing singing voice.

“You’re the direction I follow,
To get home,
When I feel I can’t go on,
You tell me to go,
And it’s like I can’t feel a thing,
Without you around,
Don’t mind me,
If I get weak in the knees,
‘cz you have that effect on me,
You do.

“Everything you say,
Every time we kiss I can’t think straight,
But I’m okay.
And I can’t think of anybody else,
Who I hate to miss,
As much as I hate missing you.

“Months going strong now,
And no goodbye,
Unconditional, unoriginal,
Always by my side,
Meant to be together,
Meant for no one but each other,
You love me I love you harder,
So...

“Everything you say,
Every time we kiss I can’t think straight,
But I’m okay.
And I can’t think of anybody else,
Who I hate to miss,
As much as I hate missing you.

“So please, give me a hand,
So please, give me a lesson on how to steal,
To steal a heart,
As fast as you stole mine,
As you stole mine, yeah.

“Everything you say,
Every time we kiss I can’t think straight,
But I’m okay.
And I can’t think of anybody else,
Who I hate to miss,
As much as I hate missing you.

“So please, give me a hand,
So please, just take my hand.”

“Well?” Megan looked up at me and frowned when she saw the tears in my eyes.

“It. That. I love it,” I whispered, blinking away the tears. “You should put it in the album,”

“You think? It’s a bit of a personal song,” she shrugged, looking at me through her blonde fringe.

“Personal song? How so?” I asked, the tears completely gone from my eyes.

“Think about it. It’s called 6 months. What happened 6 months ago?” she asked, her eyes searching mine.

“Tom and I got a divorce?” I answered, unsure of myself.

“Yep. And who do you miss the most?” she then asked me, who voice thick and emotionless.

“Tom,” I whispered.

“And who’s suffering the most out of anyone at the moment? Well, out of anyone we know,” she placed her hand on my own, sending goosebumps up and down my spine due to the coldness of her hands.

“Me,” a tear fell down my cheek. “You wrote a song about me and Tom?”

“Sort of, yeah. It’s written in your point of view. But I don’t know if I should put it on the album, because when it’s performed, I’ll most likely cry instead,” she shrugged, taking her cold hand off of my arm.

“So? Put it on. If you cry, then your fans will know that it came from your heart,” I smiled at her from the bottom of my heart. What she was doing was very touching, and I loved her for how well she’s looked after me through tough times like these. “I’m sure you have band practise, so I’ll leave you to it. But keep it down because I’m off to bed. This hangover is fucking killing me!” the boys laughed and shook their heads at me.

“Sleep well Ebony!” Elliot grinned.

“Oh mom! Mark told me to tell you to meet him at the recording studio at 11 for an early dinner or something,” yeah. Early dinner.

“What time?” I asked her, realising I was still in my pyjama shorts and tank top. So that’s why Megan’s band mates keep smirking at me.

“11am. And it’s 9.00am now so you should probably start getting ready now,” I rolled my eyes.

“As much as I hate to, I probably should. Best if I get there an hour early in case, well, ya’ know...” and with that, I turned on my heel and made my way back up to my bedroom.

***

I arrived at the recording studio. The time.? 10:13am. I have another 48 minutes until I have to meet Mark. But hey! It’s Mark, better early then on time.

Stepping out of my car and locking the door, I walked to the entrance when I noticed that the only car in the car park other than mine was Tom’s. Shrugging it off, I opened the door and stepped inside, warmth hitting my face and soft music ringing through my ears. The curious person I am, I decided to follow the noise to see who it was.

I reached the sound room, the door already open just a crack, so gently pushing it open, I stepped in to see Tom strumming a soft tune on his acoustic guitar.

I stood and watched as his strong fingers played each chord, oblivious to the fact that I was stood there watching him. The rhythm was soothing and could easily calm anyone down. Although the chords were fairly simple, the song still sounded complex. Goosebumps ran up and down my arms as I watched Tom’s face. Concentration was written all over it, his eyes shut as he nodded in time with the acoustic tune that escaped the guitar. A tear slipped down his cheek as the song he was playing stopped and silence filled the air.

“That was beautiful,” I whispered. Tom froze and wiped at his cheek, slowly turning around on the sofa to face me.

“When did you get here?” he asked, still rubbing at his cheeks.

“Just after you started playing the song. I’m supposed to be meeting Mark at 11am. I thought I should get here early in case he. Well. You know,” Tom nodded his head at me, patting the seat beside him, an indication for me to sit next to him.

“Oh okay,” silence filled the air as I twiddled my thumbs. “how are things going with you?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I have a really bad headache after my hen night last night,” I chuckled.

“Oh yeah. How’s the wedding stuff going?” he asked, moving closer to me on the sofa. I could tell that that question killed him to ask.

“Everything’s sorted,” I shrugged. “I’m dreading it.”

“Oh. Are the kids looking forward to the wedding?” I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was hating this conversation. But so was I.

“Nope. Everyone hates him,” I shrugged.

“Which is understandable,” he chuckled. “But, if you hate him, why are you marrying him?”

“Tom. Do you think it would be wise for me to break up with the man that beats me? He would most likely do worse things to me,” I stared into Tom’s eyes as tears filled mine. “Do you want me dead?” I whispered.

“Of course not,” he wiped the fallen tear away from my eye. “I just hate seeing you like this.” I nodded my head and threw my arms around his neck. Tom placed his hands on my hips and pulled me into him for a hug. I breathed in his cinnamon scent, moving closer to his body. The loud banging of Tom’s acoustic guitar falling to the ground from being kicked by my foot brought us both back to reality, slowly pulling apart from another.

“So. How was your hen night?” he smirked over at me.

“I don’t really remember anything. I went in and started drinking,” I shrugged. “Oh!” I laughed out loud. “This guy asked me to dance, and he looked just like you and his name was Dom. Crazy, huh?”

“Yeah. Crazy,” he replied. “I saw you last night.”

“You did? When?” Shit.

“Freddy and Hannah were taking you home. Well, attempting to anyway. You were shitfaced! But yeah, they bumped into me near a gas station and asked if I could look after you while they went to get you a bottle of water to sober up,” he shrugged as if it was nothing.

“What happened?” I cringed.

“You gave me a huge speech about me telling you that everything’s going to be okay between us and asking me to not leave you alone in what’s going on with you. I told you that I’m always there for you, and you were all ‘You’ve always been the one who never left me’, and then we hugged and, uhh, yeah,” he looked away from me.

“And what?” I urged.

“Nothing. That was when Freddy and Hannah came back. They didn’t take that long,” I knew he was lying. He’s obviously forgotten that I can read him like a book. Being married to him for 10 years does that to you. Just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean I don’t know him anymore.

“Right. Sure,” from the sound of the stairs creaking, I shuffled away from Tom on the sofa. “Mark’s here. Woo,” I cheered unenthusiastically. The door to the Sound Room slowly opened and the almighty Mark walked in as if he owned the place.

“Ebony? What are you going here?” he asked, glaring at me.

“I finished everything at home so I decided to come here and see you,” I smiled at him. Lies. Lies. Lies.

“Oh. Okay. Let’s go then,” he spun on his heel and walked out of the room, not even registering the fact that I was in the room with Tom.

“Well. Um. Bye. I don’t know when I’ll next see you,” I began walking away from the sofa, but stopped before I had even reached the door. “In fact. Ebony is having her first concert on Friday. Do you want to come?” Tom’s face lit up and he nodded eagerly at me. “Okay. 7pm at the 02 Academy. I’ll see you there!” I waved at him and began walking out of the room again to catch up with Mark. Don’t want to annoy him too much.

“Ebony?” Tom called. I turned around at the door to face him. “I love you too.”