Denying the Inevitable

Nathan and I had moved to Toronto three weeks ago and finally we were settled in. It really threw me for a loop when we got to the airport in Saskatoon and Nathan’s boss told him to exchange the tickets to Ottawa for tickets to Toronto. At that point it was too late for me to say no. My shit was packed and I was at the airport. I had two choices. Go or run.

I hadn’t thought of Luke in a long time...but when he told me we were moving to Toronto Luke’s face was all I could see. Nathan, of course, knows nothing about Luke. He knows that my ex fucked me over twice. Other than that we don't talk about it. Nathan doesn't know that the ‘moron that let me get away’ (his words, not mine) is Luke Schenn. I shook the thoughts of Luke out of my head as I looked around the house. I really liked this house. It was the perfect size for Nathan and I with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. The basement is fully finished and Nathan turned it into his ‘man room’. We had an argument about that one. He gets a man room but where the hell is my girly room? According to my wonderful fiancé, every other room in our house is my girl room. The thing that really made me fall in love with this house is the back yard. It’s huge! The deck is just gorgeous and we have a pool...not that it’ll be much good to us in September, but as soon as it gets warm enough you’ll never be able to get my ass out of it.

I put the papers I had in front of me away. Another shitty thing about the last minute change in destination is that I had to struggle to get shit together for my last year of school. I had it all set up to finish off my Massage Therapy degree at Carleton University, but was now waiting on confirmation from the University of Toronto and York University. Neither have gotten back to me yet and it was really frustrating me. I had never been good with the whole patience thing, and I was starting to worry that I may not get to go back this year.

I sat in front of the TV and turned it on. The screen was filled with men in blue and white jerseys. I immediately squeezed my eyes shut and blindly changed the channel. I guess Nate had been watching Leafs TV before he left for work. When I heard something not hockey related on the TV I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. This is what happens when the Toronto Maple Leafs are on the TV. I run. I don't want to see that face. I love Nathan to death, I'm just scared of how I’ll react if I see Luke’s face on TV. It’s really hard to be here and not think about him. You’d think that it would be easy in a city of like four million people, but no. Luke Schenn is boy wonder here in Toronto. Everyone loves the guy. My cell phone rang, making me jump. I glanced at the id...Brayden. A smile came to my face; he always seemed to call when I was in need of a pick me up. “Hey you.”

“B! How's Toronto?”

“I’ll get back to you on that one when I actually get to see Toronto from outside of my house.”

“How did the move go? The last time I talked to you, you were pretty freaked out.”

I managed to get away from Nathan without breaking down in front of him. I hurried into the large airport bathroom and collapsed into the bulky, oversized blue chair as tears began flowing uncontrollably down my cheeks. I wrapped my arms around my middle because it just hurt so bad. I felt like I had to hold myself together so I didn't fall apart. I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone. With shaky fingers I scrolled through my phone book until I found Brayden’s name and pushed send. “Hey you! Aren’t you supposed to be on an airplane to..” He stopped, most likely because he could hear my hyperventilating. “Brooklyn? What’s wrong?!”

“Toronto.” I managed to get out. “Not Ottawa.”

“What do you mean?! I thought you were..”

“Nathan’s boss just called like two minutes ago! He got transferred to Toronto. I can’t fucking go there Brayden! I just can’t!” I wiped at the tears that were on my cheeks as I ignored the looks I was getting from women coming in and out of the bathroom.

“Brooke, don’t let my brother ruin this for you. I thought you were over this.”

“I am!” I told him even though I wasn’t sure if I was or not. I thought I was...but this kind of reaction isn’t one you have about someone you're over. I rarely ever think about him, but when I do this is what happens. I break down. Even after all this time.

“Then what's the problem?”

“I don't want to have to see him.” I whispered.

“Do you realize how big Toronto is? You probably won’t ever have to see him!”

“Why the fuck is this happening?! I barely ever think about him but that's because he's thousands of miles away! For all I know where ever I'm living...he could be right down the street.”

“Listen to me. Okay? Do you want to be with Luke?”

“He doesn't want to be with me.” I cried.

“That's not what I asked you. Do you want to be with him?”

“No.” I told him, and that was the truth. I don't want to be with Luke because the only thing Luke knows how to do is hurt me.

“You and Nathan are going to have a great life out there. I've never met this guy, but I know how happy he makes you. You just need to breathe! Luke is out of your life. He has been for three years. And you know what, Brooke? You're better off that way.” I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. He was right. Luke is out of my life, and I am better off that way. Luke free.

I shook the memory of that phone call out of my head. “Uhm, the move went well. We actually just got it all together!”

“So this would be the perfect time for visitors then, hey?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed. “Are you coming here?!”

“I am. For the weekend, and I was wondering if I could stay with you and the fiancé.”

“Of course!” I practically shouted. “Yah! When are you going to be here?”

“Friday night until Sunday morning.” He told me.

“Awe! Bray! It’ll be so good to see you!”

“I know. I miss you, B!”

“I miss you too. So much.”

“I’ll call you when I land on Friday. See you then!” He said before hanging up. This is just what I needed to lift my spirits. I hadn’t seen my best friend since July...two months ago. I know it’s not that long, but it felt like an eternity to me. I stood up from the couch and began dancing around the living room. As I spun around in a circle for the millionth time I heard Nathan clear his throat. I stopped and turned to face him.

“Hi!” I said, trying to catch my breath.

“What's up with you?” He asked me with a grin.

“Oh. I was just talking to Brayden.” I told him as I approached him and went up on my toes to kiss his thin lips. “He's coming to stay for the weekend!”

“So I finally get to meet the best friend, huh?” He grinned as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Yep. What are you doing home?!” I asked realizing that it was only 2:30 in the afternoon.

“I just came to get something. Oh! And tonight I was wondering if you wanted to come to dinner with me.”

“Dinner? I would love to. What kind of dinner?”

“There’s an awards dinner tonight for some local professional athletes.” My heartbeat started to rise and I was beginning to hear it in my ears.

“Oh. Well...I was actually..” I tried to back out of it but he quickly cut me off.

“It’ll be fun, Brooke...it’ll be good for you to get out of the house. Be ready for 6.” He said as he kissed my forehead and grabbed a file off the table. “I love you.” He told me as he rushed out of the house.

“Bye.” I muttered as I sat down at the top of the steps...what are the chances that Luke would be there tonight?
____________________________

Dinner was going really well. This place was huge with about three hundred people here and there was no sign of my ex boyfriend in the near vicinity so I was starting to relax. Nathan and I were sitting at a table with a couple of his co workers and they were deep in office talk; something about some golfer that donated a massive amount of money to charity. “I’m going to get another drink.” I whispered to Nathan who nodded as I walked away. I had to get away from that. It was boring me to death. I approached the bar and leaned against the cool cherry wood as the bartender smiled at me.

“What can I get you, love?” He asked.

“Wine please...Shiraz.” He nodded as he turned towards the wine bottles. He poured my wine and set the glass in front of me. “Thank you.” I smiled at him as I reached for the glass.

“What can I get you sir?” He asked the man that had just made his way next to me and was standing just to the right of me.

“Canadian.” He responded. My eyes widened and I turned my back to him. I knew that voice. It was one that I would recognize anywhere. That was Luke’s voice. My heartbeat sky rocketed and I was struggling to breathe normally. I was panicking. I was contemplating turning around to see if my mind was playing tricks on me but then I could feel him staring at me in only the way that he could. I closed my eyes hoping that I would become invisible. “Brooke?” He asked. How dare he call me that! He lost the right to call me Brooke when he left me like he did. “Brooklyn?” He said again, forcing me to turn around.

“Oh. Hi Luke.” I said coolly, as if it didn't faze me. As if seeing him were normal. As if I didn't care that I was face to face with him again.

“What...What are you doing here?!” He asked, his eyes taking in my appearance.

“Having dinner.” I replied. He stood there looking at me for a few moments in obvious shock. “Well it was nice seeing you, Luke.” I said as I turned to walk away. His hand shot out and grasped my elbow, stopping me from leaving. I took in a sharp breath as I felt his familiarly rough, calloused hand come in contact with the bare skin of my arm. I turned to face him and he was closer than I had expected. He had those beautiful blue eyes that I peered deep into so many times staring down at me.

“Why are you in here? In Toronto?” He asked in a low voice.

“I live here.” I told him, my voice equally as low. His eyes widened and he released his hold on my arm to run his hand through his shaggy dirty blonde hair. He connected his eyes to mine again and I could see that he was confused, but he also looked a little hurt.

“You live here?! And you didn't think to tell me?!” As that statement came out of his mouth I had a huge case of déjà vu that made me incredibly angry. Immediately my mind went back to that January day in my dad’s kitchen in Kelowna when I came face to face with Luke after the first time he had broken my heart.

“I am not doing this.” I stated, trying my hardest to keep my composure.

“Brooklyn!”

“I haven’t spoken to you in three years. Why would I bother to fill you in on my life now?”

“I’m sorry.” He told me. “Hey!” He said, causing me to stop from leaving. “I’m sorry, Brooklyn.” I looked up into his eyes and I knew that he was apologizing for more than just his mini freak out about me not telling him I was here. To someone listening to our conversation it would have sounded blasé, nonchalant, but it was anything but. I managed to tear my eyes away from his somehow.

“Yah.” I stated like it wasn’t a big deal. “I have to go.” I said as I turned again, hoping that this time he would just let me go.

“Brooke.”

“Hmm?” I mumbled as I turned to face him again. He tilted his head to the side and that killer smile spread across his lips causing my breath to hitch in my throat and my heart to skip a beat. One thing hadn’t changed about Luke. He was still overwhelmingly beautiful.

“We should go out sometime...you know, catch up or..” Luke stopped talking as an arm snaked its way around my waist. His eyes raised about five inches and set on a different face.

“There you are.” Nathan said as he kissed the side of my head. I forced myself to stop staring at Luke and smile at my fiancé.

“Here I am!” I said stupidly as Nathan stuck his hand out towards Luke,

“I'm Nathan.” Luke glanced at me before extending his hand out.

“Luke.” He replied and then the awkward silence set in. It was then that I realized just how different the two of them were. Luke was tall at 6’2 while Nathan was an average 5’10. Luke had sandy brown luscious hair where Nathan’s jet black hair was short and clean cut. Luke’s eyes were a mesmerizing shade of blue while Nathan’s eyes were the warmest shade of brown I had ever seen. Aside from the obvious physical differences, I don't think there are two people who could be more different personality wise. Luke is social. He is outgoing, fun loving, and always the life of the party. He always has been and I couldn’t picture him any other way. Nathan was more of a homebody. He loves staying in and relaxing just the two of us. He would pick watching a movie curled up on the couch any day over going out to a night club.

“Okay. I'm gonna go.” Luke said, putting a stop to the comparisons I was making, and then swiftly turned and walked away. If Nathan’s hand wasn’t intertwined with mine I probably would have gone after him.

“Do you know him?” Nathan asked me when I turned to face him.

“No.” I told him. “I don't know him at all.” I wasn’t lying. I didn't feel like I knew anything about that man.

“I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on you when I bring you to these things.” He said with a smirk as he kissed me. “Some of these guys think they're god’s gift to women...I don't want you running off with any professional athletes.” If only he knew the whole story.