Denying the Inevitable

“What...what do you mean? What can’t you do, Brooklyn?” Nathan asked worriedly as I began breaking down. This was the last thing I expected to be happening today. This morning I woke up with plans of being Mrs Nathan Dean by the time tonight rolled around. This time tomorrow we would be in the air on the way to the Mayan Riviera for our ten day honeymoon. Now that was the last place I would be. Now I had no idea what so ever of what I would be doing tomorrow at this time.

“I can’t do this!” I shouted, motioning between the two of us. “I can’t marry you.”

“Brooklyn, baby, if this is about the future then I want whatever it is that you want! I..”

“It’s not, Nathan. It doesn’t even have anything to do with me and you.”

“What the hell does that mean?! How can you leaving me on our fucking wedding day not have anything to do with..” He stopped, his facial expression drastically changing and his face becoming pale. “Oh my god.” He stated, his hands covering his face. “This is about him, isn’t it?” He asked, knowing that this had nothing to do with him and me, but everything to do with Luke.

“It’s just that..”

“OF COURSE it’s about him!” He shouted. “It always has been. Everything is always about him!”

“We’re just not right for each other, Nathan.” I began, trying to explain why I couldn’t do this. “I should have known long before now. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry Nathan!” I told him with tears flowing uncontrollably now. I felt terrible. If I hadn’t fought what I felt for Luke so hard I wouldn’t be in this situation. If I had just listened to him back home this past Christmas....maybe it wouldn’t have gotten to this.

“No. I should have known.” Nathan stated sadly. “I’ve always had to share you with him. The day I met you, you were in love with him and you have been every single day since then! You’ve never been mine, Brooklyn. He’s always had your heart and all I got were the left over pieces. But you know what? That was always enough for me! That was enough because I love you. I love you!” He shouted, anger now beginning to replace the fear. “There’s no way in hell that guy loves you the way I do.”

“He does love me, Nathan. He does!” I told him, feeling the need to defend Luke.

“That’s bullshit! That’s bullshit and you know it, Brooklyn! If he did he wouldn’t have left you twice! He’s just going to do it again, and I’ll be gone. I’m not waiting around for you so that you can go get your heart broken by some fucking jackass hockey player again. I’m not!” I nodded as he told me this.

“I don’t want you to wait for me. I have to give him another chance, Nathan. I have to! Hopefully I won’t need you to wait for me.” I stood up and walked towards him. I went up onto my toes and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry Nathan. Really I am, but there’s a girl out there for you.” He rolled his eyes at how cliché that sounded, but I was right. There was a girl out there that would fall in love with him and he would be her Luke.

As I left the room and Nathan behind I glanced back at him one more time. “Brooklyn...” He called. “I really do love you.” I nodded knowing that he did. I never doubted that fact. Nathan had been a lot of things for me. He had been my first real glimpse at what safe meant. He was stable, reliable, and always there; something I had never been exposed to with Luke. The thing is...safe, stable, reliable, and always there weren’t enough to keep my mind off of Luke.

I rushed back into the room I had been getting ready in and hurried right past everyone. My mother jumped up and rushed to my side as I rummaged through my bag. “Brooklyn?!” She questioned in a panicked tone. “What’s going on?! You’ve been crying!” I barely heard anything that she was saying as I tried to find my god damn cell phone. “Brooklyn!” She exclaimed as she grabbed a hold of me and turned me to face her.

“Where the fuck is my cell phone?! Have any of you seen it?!” I stared at each of their concerned faces. When no one answered me I turned to Rita but I didn’t have to ask. She knew exactly why I needed that phone.

“He’s at the airport.” She told me as she glanced at her watch. “His plane doesn’t leave for an hour. You can still get to him if you hurry.” His season was over and he was heading back home. The Toronto Maple Leafs didn’t make the playoffs. I had heard it on the news and saw it in the papers and I felt so bad for him. I knew exactly what losing did to him. It killed him that they didn’t get there again this year. I turned to leave and as I did a strong hand gripped my wrist.

“Don’t.” He begged. “Don’t do it Brooklyn!” I looked into the worried eyes of my best friend and I smiled.

“I know what I’m doing Bray.” I assured him. “For the first time...I know exactly what I’m doing. I have to do this.” I kissed him on the cheek and headed towards the door.

“Brooklyn!” My dad shouted. I turned around waiting for him to tell me I was being stupid. That I should go back in there and fix what should have been my marriage but instead he reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys to his rental car. “You’re going to need this.” I took the keys from his hand and threw my arms around him. It was no secret that my father didn’t like Luke. Actually...he did like Luke. He just didn’t like Luke and I together. He didn’t like what he had done to me. This gesture showed me that he approved; I didn’t have to explain anything to him. He understood.

“KEN!” My mother screamed. “What the hell are you..”

“Jesus, Jane!” He shouted. “She needs to be happy. Let her go.” He kissed to top of my head. “Go.” He told me. That was all I needed to hear. I bolted from the room as fast as I possibly could.

Getting to the departures gate at Pearson International Airport is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. It’s damn near impossible. After circling three times I found the sliding doors and pulled the car up to them. I jumped out and began running into the building. Once inside I had no idea where to go. I stopped, looking left and right, and silently cursed myself for not changing first. I guess it was one way to stand out. Maybe this way Luke would see me before I found him. It’s kind of hard to not notice the bride in the airport lobby. It’s not something you see every day! “Which way to terminal three?!” I asked the man behind the information desk and he just pointed in the direction with a perplexed look on his face.

As I frantically made my way down the corridor, keeping my eyes peeled for him, I was surprisingly at ease. I wasn’t nervous. I wasn’t scared. I was excited. “Dammit!!” I shouted as one of my heels cracked. I swiftly pulled them from my feet and kept on running. I didn’t have time to worry about my shoes or what sort of diseases I was bound to pick up from this filthy floor.

“Last call for flight 337 to Saskatoon. This is the final boarding call for flight three three seven. Toronto to Saskatoon.” I scanned the surrounding area searching every seat and every line up for him and that’s when I saw him. My heart nearly leapt out of my body as I watched him making his way to the line up. He was carrying a black Under Armour backpack over one shoulder. He had a hurley baseball hat on low, covering as much of his face as possible; he didn’t want anyone to notice him. Through all of his efforts to go unseen, I had found him. There was no way I would have missed him. No way in hell.

“LUKE!” I shrieked. His sad eyes rose instinctively and as they set on me I saw them instantly brighten. I barrelled past everyone and didn’t stop until my body was brought up solid against his. The minute his strong arms were wrapped around me I felt complete. He set me down onto my feet but didn’t let me out of his grasp. I didn’t realize I was crying until Luke’s thumbs were wiping the stray tears from my cheeks.

“What are you doing here?!” He asked taking in my appearance.

“I couldn’t do it.” I told him. Looking up at his toothy grin I knew I had made the right decision. “I love you.”

“Oh, baby.” He cooed as he took my face in his hands. “I love you too.” He confessed, pressing his lips to mine. “So god damn much.” Again he captured my lips with his and I was on cloud nine. I had missed this so much. I had missed him, but most of all...I had missed us.