Denying the Inevitable

The drive back to the church gone by much quicker than the drive from the church had. Isn’t that always how it works? There was no anxiety; nothing to be apprehensive about this time. Luke insisted on driving just like he always did and right now I was not about to fight him on anything. He kept his steady grasp on my hand throughout the whole thirty five minute drive, occasionally allowing his thumb to graze over the back of my hand or giving it a squeeze followed by a contented sideways smile. I glanced out the passenger side window happily. I didn’t know exactly what tomorrow would bring; hell...I didn’t even know what the rest of the day would bring. All I knew is that Luke and I would face it together.

“How pissed was your dad? I’m not exactly his favourite person. He couldn’t have been happy that you left your wedding and left Mr. Perfect at the altar.” He questioned with a little animosity in his voice.

“He was surprisingly okay with it. He told me to take the car...it was my mom that freaked.” I told him. “And maybe he’s Mr. Perfect for someone else. He’s just not perfect for me.”

“Reeeally?! And who is your Mr. Perfect?”

“Oh, just some guy. You may know him actually!”

“Oh yah?”

“Mhmm. He’s a little hot headed. Very, very stubborn. He has the tendency to run when things get confusing and he’s..”

“Listen to me.” Luke stated as he brought the car to a stop in the parking lot of St. Mary’s United Church. He turned in his seat so that he was face to face with me. “That is not going to happen again.” He told me with so much sincerity that I couldn’t not believe it if I tried. “I am not going anywhere. You are where I want to be. I was stupid Brooklyn. I was young, I was irrational, I didn’t think! Back home at Christmas time I panicked. I panicked because all of the mistakes hit me. Every little thing I had done wrong by you came back to me and I didn’t feel good enough for you. I didn’t...I still don’t feel like I deserve you.”

“Shut up.” I told him sternly. His eyes widened as he waited for me to speak. “You do deserve me. We are supposed to be together, Luke! We are! Everything that happened...everything we did, everything we said...let’s just forget it. It’s the past for a reason, right? We’ve both had a lot of revelations, a lot of things that we had to come to terms with. Let’s just start over.” Luke leaned across the armrest and pushed his lips to mine.

“I love you, you know that?”

“I do.” I told him with a smile. More than anything, I really did know that Luke was in love with me. “but right now...I need to go in there.” Luke nodded and got out of the car. Before I knew it he was around the front and at my side. He scooped me up bridal style and I couldn’t help but laugh at how cliché this must have looked; aside from the fact that Luke was in jeans, a white tee and sandals.

“What are you doing?!” I quickly questioned.

“You don’t have any shoes!” He informed me with a grin, fully taking advantage of the situation. “I’m not about to let those pretty little feet of yours get all cut up on this gravel so just shut up and let me do this.” As Luke began up the stairs with me in his massive arms the solid wooden double doors flew open and out walked Brayden. He stopped in his tracks as he saw his brother and I. He shot daggers out of his eyes at Luke and then shook his head at me, disappointedly, before continuing on his way. I forced myself out of Luke’s arms and went after my best friend.

“Bray!” I called. “Brayden! Brayden, please!” I shouted as I grabbed a hold of his hand.

“No Brooklyn!” He screamed. “I’m not about to have any part of this!” He glared at Luke who had made his way to my side with a supportive hand on my shoulder. “I am sick of this. I am so god damn sick and tired of watching him hurt you. I don’t want to fucking be around it this time!”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Luke boomed as he stepped closer to his brother, inadvertently placing himself in front of me. “Don’t take this out on her. Clearly your problem is with me.”

“Yes! You are my problem. But you know what Luke? I’m so fucking tired of this.” He spat motioning to the both of us. “You’re a fucking moron for not realizing how lucky you are. You just keep throwing her away like she’s nothing, but it’s not all you. She’s just as stupid as you for always going back to you.” I saw the anger rise in Luke and I knew that this was not going to end pretty if I didn’t jump in. I stepped in between the two most important people in my life and faced Luke with my hands on his chest.

“Hey.” I stated, getting his attention. “Why don’t you go inside and..”

“NO!” He protested, immediately turning his interest back to his brother. “Who the fuck do you think you are calling..”

“Luke! Hey! Go inside. Let me talk to Brayden for a minute.” Luke sighed before running a hand through his sandy brown hair. He nodded slightly, placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, and sent Brayden a glare that clearly stated that they were not okay...not by a long shot. He turned and made his way into the church, giving us one more glance before the oversized doors closed behind him.

“What the hell are you doing, Brooklyn?!” Brayden demanded immediately. “Why are you doing this?!”

“I love him.” I replied simply. What more explanation was needed?

“I thought you were over that!” He exclaimed out of frustration.

“No, Brayden!” I shouted, becoming angry myself. “I can’t just get over him. God! Everyone thinks they know what’s best for me more than I do. The thing is, Bray, I tried to do what everyone thought was the right choice. I’m not living my life for anyone else but me, and I’m sick of trying to please everyone. I’m done! It doesn’t matter that you, or my mom, or my dad think I’m being stupid...he is what I want. He is what I’ve always wanted and I am done settling for less. I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my happiness because of some mistakes made when we were sixteen! I am in love with him! I love the stupid shit that he does. I love it that he isn’t picture perfect; I had picture perfect and it is fucking boring. I don’t want a life that’s planned out from day one. I want some sort of spontaneity. I want..”

“Spontaneity?!” Brayden exclaimed with a laugh. “Is that what you’re calling what Luke does to you?”

“That isn’t going to happen again.” Brayden rolled his eyes and laughed. “It isn’t! He isn’t going to hurt me. Me almost marrying Nathan made him realize exactly what he had done. It was like a wakeup call for the both of us.”

“Yah, well...I hope you’re right.” He stated before pulling me into his arms. I closed my eyes as I rested my head against his chest. “I really do hope that you’re right this time.” He whispered into my hair before placing a kiss on the top of my head. “You know I love you. All I want is what’s best for you.”

“I know.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

“And I am.” I told him looking up into his eyes. “I am happier right now than I have been in a long, long time.”

“Well good. That’s all that matters then.” I squeezed my arms around his middle, holding him tight. I let out a sigh of relief. It made me physically sick when Brayden and Luke were at odds with each other. There was nothing I hated more. “I have to go.” He stated.

“What?!” I exclaimed, pulling back from him so that I could see him properly. “Where are you going?!”

“Home.” Home? As in Saskatoon or LA? My heart began beating wildly at the thought of my best friend leaving me on bad terms.

“Brayden! Please don’t leave. Come inside and..”

“I need to go home.” As tears began filling my eyes he continued on. “I get that you love him, but I can’t stay and watch him put on a show for everyone trying to convince them that he’s changed. I don’t believe he has. I don’t believe it for one damn second and I don’t want to rain on your parade so I’m leaving.” He told me before turning his back to me.

“Brayden!” I exclaimed in a pitiful, heartbroken squeaky voice.

“I’ll call you when I get home.” He told me, brushing off any sort of emotion and becoming this cold, heartless person that I didn’t know.

“Brayden please don’t go!” I pleaded.

“You don’t need me here.”

“I need you everywhere.” I told him. “You’re my best friend.”

“Bye Brooke.” He said monotonously before getting into his car and driving out of sight. The minute his car was gone I felt like I was having a panic attack. Brayden and I had never walked out on each other on bad terms. I didn’t realize that my legs had given out on my until my body came in contact with the cement church steps. I knelt there, crying hysterically. This was one of the times I needed my best friend the most. I needed him to be here to tell me that it was okay that I didn’t marry Nathan. I needed him to reassure me and tell me that I had made the right decision. I just needed him to be here!

“Brooklyn!” Luke’s frantic voice bellowed. Instantaneously he was at my side pulling my limp, shaking body towards himself. He forced my eyes to his and pushed my hair, damp with tears, from my eyes. “What happened?”

“He left.” I managed to mumble before breaking down against Luke’s hard chest.

“Where did he go? What did he say?” Luke questioned as he tried to put the pieces together.

“He’s gone home! He’s so mad at me, Luke.”

“Oh my goodness!” Rita exclaimed as she, too, came out of the church. Luke shook his head, clearly deep in thought about his brother. He stood up, pulling me to my feet along with him. He handed me off to Rita who tried to take Luke’s place, but seeing as I am a whole three inches taller than her, it didn’t work out so well.

“Luke!” I exclaimed, wiping at my tired, swollen eyes. “What are you..”

“I’ll be back soon. I promise. I need to do this.” He gave me a strong, forceful kiss before turning on heel, swiftly making his way to my father’s rental car and speeding off in the same direction that Brayden had gone in just moments earlier.