Denying the Inevitable

I got back to the house and took of my sunglasses. I glanced in the mirror as I walked past it. I looked at my reflection and realized that I look like shit. I guess that was understandable seeing as my best friend had just left and I don't know when I’ll see him next. My eyes were red rimmed, dark and my face was splotchy. I walked up the few steps to the landing and made my way into the living room. Nathan was on the couch reading through some papers. I collapsed next to him with my head on his lap. “Love me.” I told him. He smiled down at me and placed his folder on the table. His arms went around me and I happily cuddled into him.

“You okay?” He asked. I shook my head.

“I miss him already.” I mumbled.

“Why didn't you tell me that Brayden was Brayden Schenn?” Nathan asked. I looked up at him and shrugged.

“I didn't think it would make a difference.”

“It doesn't...I just...I don't know. I would have thought you would tell me something like that.”

“Nate, I don't think of him like that. He’s my best friend. I don't think of him as Brayden Schenn NHL star.” He nodded, but he was chewing on the inside of his cheek. That was a tell tale sign that Nathan was thinking. “What’s with you?” I asked. This was not my Nathan.

“How am I supposed to compete with that?” My eyes widened at my fiancé as his words forced me to sit up straight. Was he talking about Brayden?!

“I’m sorry...run that by me again. I don't think I heard you right.”

“The guy is your best friend. You even said it yourself that he's the perfect guy.” I nodded as he spoke, but I was still trying to grasp what he was getting at. “Brooklyn even to this day he's the one you call when you're upset. He's the one that you go to when you need something! And now it turns out that he’s not just some guy from back home. He’s some hot shot..”

“Would you stop it?! He’s the same guy he’s always been. It’s not like over night he made it to the NHL. You and I have been together for three years! If I wasn’t attracted to him then why the hell would I be attracted to him now? And because he’s a hockey player?! Come on Nate! I'm not that shallow.”

“I know! I just..” I put my finger to his lips, silencing him.

“I love you.” I told him with a smile. “See this?” I asked, holding up my hand and pointing at my ring. “What does this mean?” He grinned and looked down. “Nate! What does this mean?!” I said with my own grin on my face.

“It means that you belong to me.” He told me.

“That's right. Now stop being insecure and kiss me!” He smiled at me and pushed his lips against mine. “I love you.”

“I love you too. But! I have to go to the office for a bit.” My smile faded as he quickly stood up from the couch and walked towards the front door. “I’ll call you later babe!” He shouted as he walked through the door, closing it behind him. Alone again! I thought as I flicked on the TV.

I glanced at the wall clock. It was nearing ten pm and Nathan would be home soon. This article had been taking up a lot of his time. He had been pretty stressed out about it. This is going to be his first published article in a city wide newspaper. This is huge for him, and he's a little bent out of shape over it. I flicked endlessly through the channels. There was nothing on. Well...nothing that I wanted to watch. I flicked it off and laid on the couch in silence. I couldn't wait for Nate to get home so that we could curl up in bed and go to sleep. I hated all those nights that he was away for work. It was so hard for me to sleep when his arms weren’t around me. A loud knock at the front door startled me to my feet. “Jesus Christ!” I took a deep breath, calming my rapid heartbeat before I made my way to the front door. I unlocked it and opened it only to find myself staring at my ex boyfriend. “Luke!” I exclaimed out of shock as I stared up at him. God he looked good. He was standing there casually in a pair of dark blue jeans, a black hoodie, and a Toronto Maple Leafs baseball hat.

“Hey.” He said as he raised his arm so that he could lean against the door frame. I stood there completely caught up in his eyes and I'm not sure how long we stood there before his words snapped me out of my trance. “I had to see you.” Even though those words pissed me off, I really enjoyed hearing them. They caused my breathing to hitch in my throat slightly.

“Well...you saw me.” I said as I tried to close the door in his face but he stepped through it. He didn't have to try very hard to overpower me. His 6’2 200 and something frame completely dwarfs my 5’3 100 pounds. “Luke!” I yelled at him. How dare he walk into my house like that!

“We need to talk.” He told me.

“No! We don't!”

“Brooklyn! I need to talk to you. Why don't we go get a coffee?”

“I don't drink coffee. You know that.” I said quickly. A grin spread across his face.

“You still don't, huh?” I shook my head at him. “Okay. Well we could stay here.” We couldn't stay here! Nathan would be home literally any second now and the last thing I wanted him to see was Luke in our house. I don't think I could handle it if they had a second face to face encounter.

“No!” I shouted causing Luke’s eyes to widen at me. “Let’s go for that coffee.” I said as I grabbed my jacket out the closet.

“But you don't drink..”

“There is something called hot chocolate, Luke.” I told him as I slipped my uggs on my feet. I opened the front door and pointed for him to leave. He stepped through the door and for a brief second I contemplated just closing it and locking it. I could pretend that he wasn’t here, but I knew he wouldn't leave. I took a deep breath in and left the house, closing the door behind me.

The five minute drive to Tim Horton’s was awkward to say the least. I could feel Luke’s eyes on me but I didn't dare look up at him. Instead I stared out the window quietly, not once opening my mouth. Luke had gone through the drive thru and ordered for me without having to ask what I wanted. Now, as we were sitting in the parking lot in his Range Rover, he passed me my large hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. “Thanks.” I muttered. I took the lid off of the cup and before I had a chance to ask him he was holding out the stir stick that he knew I would want. I glared at him as I took it. I hated that he knew me so well.

“Your welcome.” He in a slightly condescending tone. I took a sip and turned to face the window again. “Are you going to talk to me at all?” He asked.

“You're the one that needed to talk. Not me.” I reminded him. He nodded as his incredible eyes stared into mine. He placed his rough, calloused hand on mine on the center console. At that moment my heart literally tried to jump out of my body and I had to tell myself to breathe. My eyes shifted from our hands to his eyes as I tried to catch my breath. “I miss you.” Suddenly I was filled with so much rage. I pulled my hand out from under his as I turned myself in my seat to face him.

“You miss me?!” I exclaimed.

“Yes. I miss you so much, Brooke! I have ever since the day you left Kelowna.” I had never felt anything like the surge of anger that was flowing through my body at that very moment. It took everything in me not to reach out and strangle his stupid neck.

“Well...you’ve had three years to get used to what missing me feels like.” I told him. “You’ll survive. Take me home.” I ordered.

“Brooklyn please don't be like this. I..”

“Don't be like what?! A raging bitch? Well I'm sorry Luke, but you broke my heart twice! TWICE! Why the hell would I want to let you back in when the only thing you are capable of is hurting me?!” I yelled at him.

“I never meant to hurt you!”

“That's bullshit, Luke! That's bullshit and you and I both know it. I moved out there and you just had to have me because you couldn't stand to see someone else with me. You just want me when I'm near you. You wanted me back home but then when you left that was it. I show up in Kelowna and you did back flips to get me only to dump me again when you were..”

“I went to your house two hours after I broke up with you!” He yelled, stopping me mid sentence. He what?! “I went to your house to tell you that I was stupid! That I couldn't do this without you! I went there to tell you that I love you but you were already gone.” He yelled. He paused slightly and diverted his angry eyes to his coffee cup. Was he serious? I had called that night and asked my dad if Luke had gone to the house...he told me no. “I still love you Brooklyn.”