A Rollercoaster Kind of Rush

I woke up the next morning. Before I could open my eyes, the strong aroma of alcohol filled my nose, making my stomach churn. I just laid there for a second, listening to the soothing sound of deep breathing behind me, hoping to calm my stomach. When I finally opened my eyes, I took in my surroundings. Black curtains over the two windows, a computer on a desk in the corner of the room, adjacent to a dresser. Numerous belongings were littered on the smooth top of the cherry wood dresser. Trophies and awards were lined neatly on a shelf near the window on the left. I immediately knew whose room this was.

Sliding my key into the doorknob, I entered my apartment, praying that Calli wouldn’t be here. To be honest, her stress is the last thing I needed. My head was spinning. I kicked off my pumps, I had hardly realized how bad my feet hurt on the walk home. My eyes fluttered shut as I walked down the hallway by memory. After letting out a yawn, I reopened my eyes to find myself in the living room area, about five feet away from the couch.

The apartment was seemingly empty, so when I tossed my keys on the table, the sound of the metal jingling echoed through the rooms. I looked around for the slightest moment. Nothing interested me more than sleep at that particular moment, even though it was past two in the afternoon.

When I got to my room, I glanced around. Taking full notice that every belonging of Evan’s that had been in my room last night, was nowhere to be seen. In my chest, my heart instantly began to ache and pound against my chest. My first instinct was to rush to my closet, just to make sure my favorite possession was still there. Opening the door, I sighed in relief. I pulled out the purple Penticton hoodie and slid it over my tanktop. Next I slid my jeans down my legs, and laid in my bed. Evan’s smell suddenly blanketed me in bliss.

My mind started to wander to last night. Blurry images and memories of loud, rap songs filled my head. Someone had given me too many shots. Fighting back tears, I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep. Oddly enough, I did fall asleep.

I woke up only a few short hours later to the sounds of someone in the apartment. Immediately I assumed it as Calli, and pulled my covers off of me. Tugging on a pair of shorts, I attempted to wake myself up. I still felt like I could sleep another solid fourteen hours. After straightening out the hoodie, I exited my room.

Taking a deep breath, I studied the back of my roommate. I hadn’t seen much of her in weeks. Her hair looked a little darker, like she had added some undertones. She was making something to eat, I couldn’t quite tell what.

“Cal,” I finally breathed out. She jumped a bit, snapping her head around to look at me.

“I didn’t know you were here,” she mumbled quickly, turning back to what she was doing. I ignored that.

“I think we should talk,” I told her, “there’s obviously something wrong here.”

Calli’s hands stopped working, but she still didn’t turn to face me. I was burning holes into the back of her head with my eyes. I waited for her to say something, but it never came. So I spoke up again.

“I need to get something off my chest,” I admitted. She gave me a skeptical look. I let a long breath out.

I couldn’t speak for a good minute as she stared me down expectantly. No matter how much I needed to say it, it was impossible to spit it out. I closed my eyes tight. “I cheated on Evan last night,” I breathed out. When I opened my eyes, I scanned her appalled facial expression, and her stern eyes that were burning into me.

For the first two minutes of her staring at me, I thought she was going to say something. But when she turned her back to me once again, I knew she had nothing to say. My voice still shaking, I knew I had to say something.

“What did I do to make you so mad?” I asked her delicately. This caused her to finally turn very slowly, almost cautiously towards me. Calli’s cheeks turned a bright pink as she set her eyes on me.

“What made me so mad?” She seethed incredulously. “Avery, I don’t even know you anymore,” I begged her to explain herself with my eyes. “Since your perfect boyfriend actually decided to care about you, you’ve been so full of yourself. You didn’t even notice that you blew off all of your old friends. You’ve changed in the worst way.” She shook her head as if she were disgusted. For a second, I was speechless.

“It isn’t like that, Calli,” I promised. I started to continue, but as her cheeks grew redder by the moment, Calli interrupted me.

“It is!” She insisted. It felt like someone just stabbed me in the chest as she let out a bitter laugh. “But hey, it’s okay, Av! You have all your new friends. Oh and who could forget your god-like boyfriend.” Calli rolled her eyes sarcastically. “And I heard through the grapevine that you were arrested a few weeks ago. Now, you finally got your boyfriend to treat you right, and you go and fuck that up. How could you do that to Evan? What the hell has gotten into you, Avery. The girl I knew would never pull anything like this! It’s honestly pathetic. I don’t know what happened to you.”

With that, she turned on her heel, and grabbed her keys off of the table. I was frozen in my spot as I heard the door slam shut. A sigh escaped my lips and my vision became a watery blur. I didn’t even bother to clean up her untouched cereal.

I sat alone in my apartment all day. I had no calls, no texts, absolutely nothing. No one wanted to talk to me. I never felt so forgotten.

“Come on, Avery,” Kendall leaned towards me, whispering towards my ear. “It’s time.”

I attempted to shake away the unsettling feeling in my stomach. Knowing the only way to get rid of that was getting drunk, I finished the contents of my solo cup. My eyes gazed around the room as my lips started to get numb from the alcohol.

“You know, I’m not sure if this is a very good idea…” Phoebe spoke up from the other side of the couch. “This is gonna break his heart,” she finished shaking her head. Mika nodded, agreeing with her.

It was too late for that though. My mind had already been made up, and the alcohol flowing freely through my blood stream was all the support I needed for anything I put my mind to. My eyes set on a one of the most handsome men I had ever seen. His hair was short, and dark, his eyes were almost black, and they pierced right through you. His skin was dark, and he was tall. He was perfect.

I picked up my phone. My fingers immediately worked their way to Evan’s name. I almost hit the call button. Almost.

I poured another shot down my throat. This one was stronger. It almost tasted like 151. Things were getting too out of control. I didn’t want it to happen like this.

We were on the dance floor now. He had his hands on my hips as he stood behind me and we swayed to the beat of some song I didn’t know the name of, but knew all the words to. Matt had come up to us the last song I remembered and suggested that he and I went to his room. He tried to tell me I was making a mistake, he said that I was going to ruin everything. I didn’t listen to him.

I shouldn’t have, but I got into the back seat of the taxi with him. I really shouldn’t have agreed to go into his apartment. But I had an amazing night with Chris VandeVelde that I was already regretting.