Innocence and a Broken Heart
Pain
Authors note :
So I know I said that I would go back to the present but I decided I needed to add this. Speed time up, so I don't have to keep switching back and forth.
This takes place the september, freshman year, after the beach scene.
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“I can’t help it. He smiles and I’m back to where I started. It’s like he’s a drug, and I’m addicted.”
“So don’t go near him. If you’re not with him he can’t smile at you.” My best friend, Juliet, said leaning against the lockers, clutching her book to her chest. In all the years I’ve known her, never once have I seen her without a book.
“It’s not that easy.” I sighed, grabbing my math book and closing my locker to face her. “He’s one of my best friends. It’s not like I can just never see him again.”
“Since he started his new school he hasn’t once made an effort to see you. It’s November. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You have to cut him out of your life completely or this will never stop.”
“I’ve seen him since school started!” I cried, putting my wall up. I hated when people attacked me, especially about this. About him.
“Yes you have, but has he ever once imed you first? Texted you first. Made any kind of effort to hang out with you unless you ask him first.” She pressed.
“Well he’s busy. He’s making new friends, I don’t expect him to call me. But that doesn’t mean that I can never see him again. It just means that I won’t see him as much.”
“Open your eyes. He doesn’t want to be friends with us anymore. We all see it. Please stop living blind and look at the obvious. He doesn’t like us anymore.”
“That’s not true and you know it. We’ve been best friends with him for three years now. He wouldn’t not just ditch us because he started some fancy smancy priet school. He may go to a different school but he’s still Nathan, our Nathan, and he wouldn’t do that.”
“People change Lily.” She said, looking sadly at me. I hated it when people looked at me like that. Like they pittyed me or felt sorry for me.
“You don’t know what you are talking about.” I said, glaring at her as the first bell rang. “I have to go.” I added quickly as I ran off to math.
As I made my way down the hallway I thought about what she said, and though I’d never admit it, she was right. Nathan wasn’t our friend anymore, and honestly he never really was. Because if he was he wouldn’t of said or done those things, but I couldn’t admit that to myself because the only thing that hurt more then hearing all of it was not having him around. And that was plain pathetic.
I should be furious at him. I should want him dead. I should go over to his house and kick him in the balls. If I was sane, I would do all those things. I would wish terrible, awful things upon on him. I would sit home eating ice cream and feeling sorry for myself, but instead I find myself missing him, and its getting worse.
So I know I said that I would go back to the present but I decided I needed to add this. Speed time up, so I don't have to keep switching back and forth.
This takes place the september, freshman year, after the beach scene.
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“I can’t help it. He smiles and I’m back to where I started. It’s like he’s a drug, and I’m addicted.”
“So don’t go near him. If you’re not with him he can’t smile at you.” My best friend, Juliet, said leaning against the lockers, clutching her book to her chest. In all the years I’ve known her, never once have I seen her without a book.
“It’s not that easy.” I sighed, grabbing my math book and closing my locker to face her. “He’s one of my best friends. It’s not like I can just never see him again.”
“Since he started his new school he hasn’t once made an effort to see you. It’s November. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You have to cut him out of your life completely or this will never stop.”
“I’ve seen him since school started!” I cried, putting my wall up. I hated when people attacked me, especially about this. About him.
“Yes you have, but has he ever once imed you first? Texted you first. Made any kind of effort to hang out with you unless you ask him first.” She pressed.
“Well he’s busy. He’s making new friends, I don’t expect him to call me. But that doesn’t mean that I can never see him again. It just means that I won’t see him as much.”
“Open your eyes. He doesn’t want to be friends with us anymore. We all see it. Please stop living blind and look at the obvious. He doesn’t like us anymore.”
“That’s not true and you know it. We’ve been best friends with him for three years now. He wouldn’t not just ditch us because he started some fancy smancy priet school. He may go to a different school but he’s still Nathan, our Nathan, and he wouldn’t do that.”
“People change Lily.” She said, looking sadly at me. I hated it when people looked at me like that. Like they pittyed me or felt sorry for me.
“You don’t know what you are talking about.” I said, glaring at her as the first bell rang. “I have to go.” I added quickly as I ran off to math.
As I made my way down the hallway I thought about what she said, and though I’d never admit it, she was right. Nathan wasn’t our friend anymore, and honestly he never really was. Because if he was he wouldn’t of said or done those things, but I couldn’t admit that to myself because the only thing that hurt more then hearing all of it was not having him around. And that was plain pathetic.
I should be furious at him. I should want him dead. I should go over to his house and kick him in the balls. If I was sane, I would do all those things. I would wish terrible, awful things upon on him. I would sit home eating ice cream and feeling sorry for myself, but instead I find myself missing him, and its getting worse.
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More tonight :)comments are loved!