This Is Becoming a Catastrophe

I looked at the ground, then looked up into Kyle’s eyes, that blue that I was always jealous of.
I stepped closer to him, continuing to stare straight into him. I placed my hand lightly on his neck, moving my face closer to his until our lips met. Kyle’s arms wrapped around me while my other hand went on the other side of his neck, our bodies tight up against each other. Everything was coming so naturally, I didn’t know how to think about any of this. My mind was telling me that this was wrong, and he was taken, and he’s been one of my best friends since 7th grade, so it should be awkward. My body said otherwise. It could give a fuck if he was my best friend or taken. All it knew was that Kyle was fricken amazing.
Before we could get any further, I pulled away from his lips softly, smiling, subtly, holding in my laughter.
“What?” He asked softly.
“I should be totally weirded out by this whole situation. I’ve known you since we were 12, you’re like...it should seem like incest...” I stuttered, my rational mind coming out.
“Did it?” Kyle asked, still pressed up against me, and I wasn’t pushing away.
“My mind says yes, my body says no.”
“Which is stronger?” He whispered, getting close to my face again.
Almost subconsciously, my lips were moving on his again. I guess that answered his question.
“Mmm, I was always attracted to you, but I didn’t know you’d be this good.” Kyle said in a seductive voice, sending a shiver down my spine; a good shiver.
“We should stop before it gets too intense.” I said, trying to keep myself from throwing myself on him.
“Why, though? Colby went home after I talked to him. We have the whole house to ourselves.” Kyle ran his finger down my chest, down to my belt. I suppressed my moan.
I shook my head. “No, we can’t–”
“Come on, Caleb, let loose every once in a while. I know you want to. I can tell.” He said, starting to kiss at my neck.
“I’m nervous. I’ve never done anything with a guy before.” I whispered, not restraining myself from feeling him up anymore.
“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you, go step by step. It’s not that difficult, and I know you’ll like it.” Kyle started undoing my pants while kissing me fiercely. I started taking off his shirt and when we parted so I could slip his shirt over his head and get mine off, I said, “We should probably go inside.”
He smiled and picked me up so I was straddling him, and he carried me into the house and up into his bedroom. With the door closed, he did what he said he was going to do, and oh my god, it was the best experience of my life. Kyle seemed to know exactly what to do. I fell asleep on his bare chest, but woke up with my head on a pillow and the bed empty. I sat up, stretched, and fell back onto the bed, smiling. That was nothing short of amazing.
I tried to get out of bed again, and succeeded. I got dressed and went into the living room, where I saw Colby and Kyle cuddled on the couch.
Here starts the guilt trip.
When they both noticed me, Kyle smiled and Colby came to hug me.
“Morning, sweetie! How are you feeling? Kyle told me what happened last night.” Colby asked.
I could barely stand to look at him without wanting to burst the truth to him. “Yeah, I’m fine. A little headache, but not much more. I didn’t get as drunk as last time.”
“Oh thank goodness.” He said, hugging me again.
Kyle noticed my solemn expression, but he didn’t have to ask why I looked that way. He knew, and I was thinking it kind of whoreish of him to be acting like nothing happened last night, like he basically used me; a one night stand, a quick fix.
That pissed me off.
“Sorry to leave so early, but Derek’s coming over, and I have to get ready. I’ll talk to you guys later.” I said in a monotonous, pissed tone. I didn’t wait for any responses and just left. I remembered my car was still parked at the bar. I decided to walk, let my mind free itself.
Why did I have to give into that shit. I’m basically a hypocrite now and I’m never gonna be able to act normally around Colby until he knows what Kyle and I did last night. I couldn’t do that, though, not to Colby. Not only would he be mad at Kyle, he’d be mad at me, and I wouldn’t be able to stand that. The fact that Colby would get really depressed plays a huge role as well.
I sat on the curb of a deserted street. All this made me wonder if Kyle has done this to Colby before, or if I was the only time. I don’t remember Kyle ever having anyone besides Colby over, but it could’ve happened when no one was home...
I pulled my knees into my chest and stared out, totally lost in what to do.
“Caleb?” I heard Austin’s voice coming down the street.
I looked up at him, then back down again.
He sat next to me on the curb. “What’s up?”
“Nothing good. Kyle persuaded me to fuck him last night. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I can’t look at Colby without feeling the need to sob and tell him everything.”
“Then why don’t you?” He asked, sounding like it was as easy as that.
I let out a bitter laugh. “I wish it were that easy.” I went on from there and explained the whole situation to him, hoping that he could give me some insight as to what I could do to resolve this whole mess.
“You know, you could just tell Colby, just make up a few things, like, say Kyle forced you into it, or you were still drunk and didn’t know what you were doing. I’m sure Colby would understand that, at least from your side of the argument. The only thing that would be bad is–”
“Colby hating Kyle’s guts? Kyle’s heart being shattered? Kyle hating my guts for telling Colby all the bullshit? Me feeling like a piece of shit for causing all this drama?” I finished his sentence. “I’m pretty sure that’s more than one negative thing, Austin.”
“Well in order to resolve this, you have to lose one or the other. Which one you should stay with is not my choice. Just choose the one you think is better, that’s all I can say.” He said.
Before I could answer Austin, my phone started ringing. I recognized it as Colby’s ringtone. I pressed talk and answered, “Hey.”
I heard sniffling in response.
“Colby?”
Oh shit.
Did Kyle tell him everything?
“Please come over here.” Colby said, sounding like he was either just about to start sobbing or was just coming to an end, both of which worried me to death.
“I’m on my way.” I ended the call and gave my car keys to Austin. “Could you do me a huge favor and get my car from the bar? I left it there last night. Thanks.” I took off running before Austin could protest.
I threw open the door and saw Colby sitting on the couch, curled up in a ball, knees to his chest, hiding his face. I sat next to him and put my arms around him. He automatically flung his arms around me as well. I felt his body shaking from his sobs, which made me start crying.
“Colby, what happened? Where’s Kyle?” I asked softly.
He leaned away from me, his blue eyes intensified by being bloodshot from the tears.
“After you left, we were talking about you, you know, worrying if you were alright, why you were acting the way you were, and then he told me...” He got choked up for a second. I handed him a tissue. He took it with a subtle smile. “Thanks, hun.” He cleared his throat and continued. “He told me that he used you to cheat on me because he has feelings for you, but he was being so confusing because he still wants to be with me a lot, but he doesn’t know how well he’ll be able to control himself around you.” He said, his words getting more inaudible as he spoke.
I put my arms around him again. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let him do that. I knew this was going to happen. I’ve been worrying about it all day. I never wanted to break you guys up, ever. You’re just so perfect for each other...” I mumbled as tears fell and I started hugging him tighter.
Colby laughed a little. “Caleb, honey, you didn’t break us up.”
I could’ve kissed him. “Oh my god, you have no idea how happy this makes me. I thought that you’d leave him and be pissed at me and then you’d go back to how you used to be... none of that is acceptable for me.”
“Aw, sweetie, I could never be pissed at you. The way I look at it is at least he cheated on me with my best friend.”
I got a little confused. “I guess that’s a way to look on the bright side of this situation...” I said slowly.
Colby laughed and snuggled up to me.
“So where did Kyle go, exactly?” I asked, messing with his hair.
“He’s up in his room.” Colby answered lightly.
“You should go up there and cheer him up, make him feel better, remind him that you are hopelessly devoted and would never leave him...”
Colby hit me. “I get it, Caleb. Thanks.” He kissed my cheek and got up to go into his room.
He jumped back onto the couch, scaring me a little.
“So what’s the deal with Derek? Are you together, are you not speaking? What’s up?”
“From what he said yesterday, he really wanted to be with me, he broke up with his girlfriend for me, but all this drama just makes me wanna stay single for a while. I don’t know what to do.”
“Go for him, definitely. You’ve basically got him hook, line, and sinker.” Colby said.
I laughed and hugged him before Colby left to go have a little apology chat, also known as makeup sex.
I pulled out my phone and called Derek.
“Hey Caleb.” He said, sounding happy to hear from me.
“Hi, whatcha doin’ today?” I asked.
“Nothing yet. You wanna?”
“Sure, when and where?”
“Um, now, you’re house?” He offered.
“Works for me, see you in a little bit.”
“Yup, bye.”
I hung up and left a note for them once they were done:
while you were busy “forgiving” each other, I left to hang out with Derek. Call me later! <3 Caleb