Love Sucks

I tried my hardest to accept some of the things bustling around the house, but I just hated sitting around, not knowing what everyone was planning. Rollo was a grouch like me if anyone even mentioned anything about the wedding. One day, I pulled him aside. “Hey, why are you more grouchy and upset than me?” I asked gently. “What’s your excuse?”

“I’m kinda sad that my brother’s getting married,” said Rollo. “It’s just… I’m jealous, that’s all…”

“Oh come on,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You, jealous of Henry? Give it up! I mean, you are just as handsome as he is, if not more. You could get any girl you want!”

“No, I couldn’t,” said Rollo sadly as he led me to his room so we could talk more privately. “I haven’t even told anyone in the family, but there was a reason I didn’t want you to be changed, but due to the untimely circumstances, we had to do what we had to do…”

“Why didn’t you want me changed?” I whispered, sitting down next to him on his bed.

“You wouldn’t understand,” said Rollo bitterly. “The pain… the heartache… all the things I went through, for LOVE!”

I tried to put a comforting arm around him, but he shrugged it off. “The pain of losing my one true love… it’s sometimes more than I can bear. It all started when I was changed back in the 17th century…”

“I was born to a Scottish merchant and a wealthy noblewoman,” said Rollo. “Mother didn’t care much for her status, but her family shunned my father. And ultimately, he gave up trying to fight for the two of us, and sailed off for good, never to return.”

“So I grew up without a father. I launched myself into my studies, and vowed to never fall in love. But, one day, I did fall in love…”

“Who was she?” I whispered, scared as to what Rollo would say or do next.

“Fionghuala was her name,” said Rollo, as if he were off in another world with her. “She was a beautiful Irish girl who had moved next door to me. Her hair was as bright as the sun, her eyes shone like two sapphire jewels, and her creamy white skin was softer than a newborn’s. I can still remember the first time we met… when our eyes met, I knew she was my true love…”

“But, what happened?” I asked curiously. “I mean, she was so beautiful, and you knew it was love…”

“I was changed, and that’s when everything went downhill,” said Rollo. His eyes shone with tears, and I put my hand in his, patting it reassuringly. “I shouldn’t have walked home that late that night after coming from the pub. I was exceedingly drunk that night, and stumbled back home. The only thing I remember is a pale, hooded figure crouched over me, and there was a lot of pain. By the time I woke up, I realized I was no longer myself.”

“I was hungry, and I ran back to my house to get something to eat. I ate haggis, drank beer, but nothing would quench my hunger… I realized that I could no longer feed off of human food, and began to fight my need for human blood.”

“The first time I drank human blood… it was the worst feeling ever,” said Rollo, shuddering. “I had killed one of the servants in my household out of rage, and drained every drop of his blood. Once I came to my senses, I decided to run away from home. I ran next door to Fionghuala’s house, and begged her to come with me. ‘Please,’ I begged to her. ‘Please come with me. We’ll go far away, and we’ll be so happy together… I’ll give you everything and anything your heart desires.’ She and I took off to England, and we settled in a small cottage in the countryside. I kept my secret from her well, and told her that I left the house at night only to ‘work.’ That was a huge lie, because I had taken a very large sum with us before I left home.”

“What a fool I was,” said Rollo angrily, slamming his fist into the wall. “To think that she wouldn’t go off to investigate. That she wouldn’t be curious as to where I went out at night. The day that almost ended it all, I was out hunting animals, mostly because I couldn’t bear to hunt humans. I had been holding out for too long, mostly because of Fionghuala’s curiosity as to where I would go every night.”

“If you have ever seen a tiger that hasn’t been fed in a long while,” said Rollo slowly. “It is weakened terribly. But put its prey in front of it, and it will attack with a new sense of terror and aggression. And that’s what Fionghuala saw in me…”

“She watched me kill that cow, watched in horror as I ripped its throat and drank freely of its blood. She saw the evil look in my eyes, and she screamed. I turned around, blood dripping from my lips, and caught her before she fell into a faint…”

“I brought her back to our cottage, and laid her in her bed. She opened her eyes a few hours later, and stared back at me in horror. ‘You! You killed!’ she exclaimed, shrinking back at the mere sight of me. ‘Get away from me!’”

“I swore to her that I would not hurt her, but she wouldn’t have it. I begged her not to leave, told her how sorry I was for not telling her, and kissed her soft hands. ‘Please, stay with me,’ I pleaded. ‘I love you, and I swear to you by my love for you I will not harm you in any way.’”

Rollo wiped his tears with the back of his hands, and cleared his throat. “She took one look at me, and decided to stay. I guess it might have been because deep down, her love for me was stronger than her newfound fear of me. From then on, it was very tense at home. A few months later, she pulled me aside and begged me to change her. ‘Please, Rollo. I want to be like you… That way we can be together forever. It would be a dream!’”

“Yeah, some dream we had Fionghuala,” said Rollo cynically. “I tried as hard as I could for the next couple of months to dissuade her from becoming a vampire, but no matter what I said, she was adamant in her way. And she was the type that was used to getting exactly what she wanted.”

“One beautiful dark night when I had come back from hunting, I arrived back at the cottage like I usually did. I walked back to my bedchambers, but my bed was nowhere to be found. I went to Fionghuala’s room to make sure she was okay, and found her lying seductively across her and my bed. She had pushed the two beds together, and lay there in a very sheer nightgown that would bring any man to temptation.”

“My mouth dropped open, and she urged me to come near her. I did, and she wrapped her warm body around mine. I had never been with a live or vampire woman before, and I was very unsure of myself. I touched her face gently, afraid I would break it with any sudden move. She closed her eyes, and reached her hand towards my face. She brought my face to her neck, and whispered for me to do it. And for the first time in my life, I let go. I gave in to both of our desires, and bit her neck. Her blood was by far, the best thing I have ever tasted. She moaned as I sucked from the bite wound, and I felt her start to unzip my pants. She moved my head gently away from the wound, and towards her awaiting lips. We made love for the very first time… and the last.

“In my moment of passion, I had bitten her all over her body, and before she had the chance to even turn into a vampire… Fionghuala was dead,” said Rollo sadly. His whole body shook as he tried to stifle his sobs. “It was all my fault; I killed her that night! I killed my one and only chance of happiness. I had bled her totally dry, and didn’t even stop when I knew I should have. I held her limp, naked, beautiful body against mine, and cried. I kissed her cold lips, willing for her to somehow come alive, but there was no hope for her.”

I sniffled, touched by Rollo’s story. I wished that there was something I could do, anything for Rollo to be happy with the way things were going. “I’m so sorry Rollo,” I said comfortingly. “You know I would never do anything to spite you. This is not out of spite, and I’m sure you know it. You know Henry and I love each other…”

“Yes, anyone would notice the attraction,” said Rollo distantly. “And I do not blame either of you for the pain I am feeling, but it still bothers me nonetheless. That was the whole reason I left England was to escape the pain of my past. But it seems, the past catches up with me nonetheless…”

“Rollo, is there anything I can do for you?” I asked gently. “If there is something, I will do it for you…”

“There is nothing you can do or say that will make things better, Gia,” said Rollo sadly. “But I do appreciate your kindness and understanding. It’s very hard and painful to open such a wound as this, but you have been nothing but empathetic towards me. And for that, I must say that you have my blessing upon your marriage, and that I welcome you to the family…”

I hugged Rollo tightly, and I felt his tears gently drip onto my shoulder. I held him a bit longer, patting his back and assuring him it was okay to let his feelings out. It was so odd having such a strong, hard person like Rollo sobbing into my shoulder, but he had been keeping this secret for hundreds of years, so he had to break down eventually. And I was glad to be there for him.
* * *
From then on, Rollo became a bit more cheerful about the wedding, which shocked the hell out of the rest of the Carson family. It kinda creeped me out too, because he became more excited about the damn wedding than me! I mean, HELLO?! I’m the one getting married!

I walked over to where Mrs. Carson was addressing the invitations to the wedding, and asked if I could help. “Oh no dear,” said Mrs. Carson gently. “I’ve got it all down. And besides, we’ve got family coming which you do not know about… I’ll need to write them out personally. Why don’t you go off and take a walk with Henry?”

That did sound nice right about now. I hadn’t been with Henry in a very long time, what with him planning for the honeymoon and hunting practically every day and night. I ran up to Henry’s bedroom, and he shoved his papers into his desk furiously. “Gia!” he exclaimed, standing in front of the desk and looking guilty. “What brings you here to grace me with your lovely presence?”

“Hmm,” I said as I walked slowly up to Henry. “Maybe the fact that I haven’t been with you in so long. Does that ring a bell?”

“Ah,” said Henry. “Well, come on now, let’s go-”

“I want to take a walk with you,” I said persistently. “Please, Henry? For me?”

“Anything for you, my love,” said Henry as he took my hand in his.

We walked down the stairs, and said our goodbyes before we headed out the front door. “It’s best if we stick to the backyard’s forest,” said Henry as he led me towards the backyard. “Remember, we are all still in danger…”

I looked around at the beauty of the forest, full of a mixture of pine and oak trees. Blue birds, robins, and blue jays sat in the trees, merrily chirping their usual song. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of security and happiness as I walked with Henry. “Henry,” I said, sitting down on a fallen log. “I want to ask you something… We both love each other right?”

“Of course we do! Why would I ask you to marry me if I didn’t love you?” said Henry, who sat down beside me on the log. “Beautiful, what’s the matter?”

“We haven’t been… TOGETHER yet,” I said quietly. “And I wondered… maybe we could-”

“I understand completely,” said Henry, looking into my eyes. “And I want to, more than anything. But I fear that we must wait until the honeymoon, dearest.”

“But, I don’t want to wait,” I said anxiously. “I NEED you now, more than ever. I want you to make love to me. You couldn’t do it before, but now you can… Make love to me Henry.”

His lips came crashing upon mine in a heat of unbridled passion. He brought my body closer to his, and I pulled his hand towards my chest, right over my heart. “Although it no longer beats, it only beat for you,” I whispered as he began to kiss my breasts. “I love you so much, my Henry. More than anything in this world…”

“We can’t,” said Henry as he pulled away abruptly. “I won’t have it just yet. I want us to be pure for the wedding…”

“So far, we’re not doing a very good job,” I smirked as I kissed him gently. “You are just as horny if not more horny than I am…”

Henry grinned back at me. He pushed me off the log, and I flew backwards, feet flying over my head in a perfect back flip. I laughed as Henry walked over to me, and gave me his hand to help me up. I took it, and pulled him down next to me. “Seems someone is head over heels in love with me,” I laughed as I rolled on top of him.

“Likewise my love,” said Henry as he pulled my face towards his. My hair gently brushed against his skin, and I felt him stiffen beneath me. “Dearest, we should be getting back. Dad needs to talk to you about something, and I still have our honeymoon plans to tend to…”

“Henry, please,” I begged. “Just a little bit longer. Please?”

Henry sighed, and nodded. We lay there in the grass, gazing up at the midnight sky. Slowly but surely, the stars moved closer and closer to earth. I gasped in sheer beauty of it all. I could see all of the constellations so clearly, as if I was looking through a telescope. I bet if I truly wanted to, I could reach up and touch them. “It’s so beautiful,” I whispered, in awe of everything around me.

“No star in the heavens could match your beauty,” said Henry as he wrapped his arms around me. “But they are very nice to look at sometimes… I usually sit out here to think sometimes, and look at the heavens and wonder what it would be like if I had not become a vampire. Like, what would it be like to die? To be in heaven, and not a damned creature, doomed to wander earth for all eternity.”

“My heaven is right here, right now,” I said softly. “You are my heaven, and if I have to be damned, I’d rather be damned with you than in heaven with the angels…”

He kissed me passionately, and I felt as though it would never end. And I didn’t want it to. I just wanted life to stay this way forever.

“We should be heading back,” said Henry as he pulled away gently and slowly. I nodded, and got up, dusting off my pants and shirt. I walked back with Henry to the house, and found Mr. Carson waiting for me in the den.

“Gia, come, we must have a talk,” said Mr. Carson. I looked helplessly back at Henry, but he just smiled. “It’s not going to be that bad… Come, Gia.”

I walked with Mr. Carson into his study, and he closed the door. “Since you are one who shows signs of the morpha, you will now have to test this power. What the family wants is for you to morph into a human-like shade so… so we can invite some of your family to the wedding…”