Lies

Tears blurred my vision as I slowly walked to class. I knew a few were falling. I could tell from the worried glances everyone was sending me. Rylee stood beside me, an arm around my shoulder while he tried to hush my low whimpers.

“That asshole,” Brent growled from behind us. “He needs to get some sense beat into him.”

Jaiden sighed beside me and shook his head, almost disappointed. “I agree.”

I stopped suddenly, causing for Brent to run into me. I heard him stumble, but I didn’t look back to see if he was ok. My eyes were set on the classroom, science. I had to work with Damien in this class and after what just happened; I knew I couldn’t do it.

“Why don’t you just go home?” Rylee asks, concerned.

“No,” I shake my head stubbornly. “It’ll just prove that he’s affecting me.”

“He is,” the three of them said in unison.

“W-Well then I want to p-prove that I can stand up to him,” I mumbled before walking into the science room. I could feel people’s eyes on me. Most of them were concerned, some probably found my pain hilarious, and others were curious.

I walked over to Damien and took a seat next to him. I didn’t dare look at his face, because I knew I’d start crying. Then he’d probably laugh, call me a fag, and make me feel worse then he normally does.

It’s strange how just a few days ago we were best friends, and now we’re nothing but strangers. It hurts, but I’ll have to learn to live with it, since it will probably never change.

The bell rang and I brought out my science book. Today was much worse then the other day. We only talked occasionally and it was always about the project. I made sure not to look at him and try my best to ignore him, which was doing pretty good and when the bell finally rang I jumped up and darted out of the class.

~

“Welcome home Logan!”

I ignored my mother as I ran up the stairs. I passed my father in the hallway. He looked worried, but he didn’t have time to ask anything. I had already run into my room, shut the door, and locked it.

I felt the tears roll down my cheeks like waterfalls. I whimpered and walked to my bed, where I slipped under the covers and hid. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. I wish I wasn’t like this. Why did he have to hurt me so much?

I cried for hours up in my room. I knew my parents were knocking on my door. I knew that they were worried and asking question, but I never answered. I didn’t want them to see me like this. I didn’t want them to see how weak Damien made me. It was pathetic. I’m pathetic.

Bring!

I jumped when I heard my cell ring. Slowly I reached into my back pocket and brought it up to my face.

“Hello?” I hiccupped.

“Hey,” Jaiden spoke softly into the phone. “Are you ok?”

“Fucking peachy,” I lie.

“Listen there’s a party being held at Rex’s house. Why don’t you come? You sound like you need to calm yourself down.”

I wasn’t sure. I knew that with the state I’m in I’d get wasted, and probably do something I regret, but at the same time I felt like I needed it. So taking in a deep breath and not thinking of my consequences I answer, “Sure, I-I’ll go.”

“Cool, the guys and I will pick you up in a few.” Then the line went dead.

I sighed before pushing myself up and off my bed. I crossed the hall to the restroom. I winced when I saw my reflection. Red puffy eyes, messy hair, stained cheeks; it was a sight to see. I got some water and washed my face before fixing my hair and putting some eyeliner on.

After that I changed into some different clothes. Just when I finished the doorbell rang and I ran down the steps while yelling, “I’m heading out, be back later!”

I think my mother wanted me to stay home. She probably wanted to talk to me about why I was crying for about three hours when I got home, but she didn’t say anything. Instead she yelled the normal be safe, don’t stay out too late, and let me go.

Rylee gave me a tight squeeze when he saw me. The boy kissed my forehead before asking, “Are you ok?”

I nod before I feel hands in my hair. I chuckled softly as Brent messed up my hair while saying, “Of course he is the red eyes clearly say so.”

I swatted the boys’ hand away before sticking my tongue out at him. He stuck his back out before going to jump in his car. I jumped in the back with Ashley and Jaiden. Immediately Ashley hugged me and said some comforting words.

It didn’t take long for us to get to the party. Rylee and Brent ran straight inside, claiming that they wanted booze. Ashley giggled and grabbed Jaiden’s hand and my own before she started swinging them and walking towards the house.

“This is gonna be fun!” She squeaked happily. “Jaiden you have to dance with me all night!”

“Oh joy,” he groaned.

I chuckled before Ashley glared at me. I whimpered as she growled, “You have to dance with me too mister, so don’t think you’re getting out of it.”

It was Jaiden’s turn to laugh as I whined. As the night went on I realized that my mood only seemed to get worse. Damien and I used to always go to parties together. He and I would usually be in the middle of the crowd doing stupid moves that were pointless and made us laugh until we cried. We’d sing stupid songs while drunk and skip home like the drunken teens that we were. It was always fun, but now…he wasn’t even around.

I frowned. My mood just got worse while thinking that. My shoulders slumped as I slid down the wall to sit on the floor. Everything just sucked it really sucked…

“You look like you’re enjoying yourself,” a sarcastic voice spoke.

I glanced to my left to see the owner, Brandon. He stood next to me, a joint hanging from his chapped lips, and his hands shoved in his pockets. I sighed, “Yeah, lots of fun.”

Brandon chuckled before taking a seat next to me, “You mind?”

“Nah,” I answer with a shrug. Brent, Rylee, Ashley, and Jaiden were all dancing. They were having fun and I didn’t want to kill their mood. It’s why I moved away from them.

“You seem tense,” Brandon spoke loudly over the music. “Why don’t you try some?”

“No thanks,” I denied the joint Brandon held close to my face. The smoke swirled around us both. It hit my nostrils first, and then went into my lungs. It burned but only for a few moments.

“It’s just one try,” Brandon pursued. “If you don’t like it I won’t push you.”

I listened to the boy. I stared at the joint he held before me. For a moment my mind screamed no, but then I remembered what everyone said about it. They said it was fun. It helped them relax. So maybe just once, just one little try won’t harm right?

Then maybe I can forget about Damien. Maybe I can forget about him and Katie. Maybe I can forget about our friendship and everything I did to ruin it…maybe just one try…

I took the joint from Brandon’s hand. The boy smiled as I placed it between my lips. At first I didn’t do anything. I thought, should I really do this? Then I remembered it. I remembered Damien and Katie earlier. Them holding each other…

And I made the choice. I took in a breath, I tried my first drug, and

I liked it.