Kids in Love

“Well I'll swallow my pride if you'll stay for the years and watch me spin circles as I disappear. And hearts, they don't lie they just quiver in fear as you say… Tonight we forget everything and we stay the night. If I was wrong then I'm sorry. I'll stop this fight for the night. And this empty space left in the seat to my right where you should be says a lot… Don't let it say goodbye.”

{#!#}

I sat in the park for a little while longer. I didn’t want to see Derek but at the same time I needed to go back. Ayden would be wondering where I was and I’m sure John was worried about me. I sighed and lifted myself off the swing. I took my time going back to the venue; I wasn’t in a hurry to see Derek. The show hadn’t started by the time I got back to the venue but they were a bunch of people outside. I checked the time on my phone, doors were in five minutes. I went to our bus first and of course, because I have horrid luck, Derek was in the front lounge staring at his phone. His head snapped up when the door slammed shut and our eyes locked. He stood up.

“Jamie, I-”

“Save it, Derek,” I cut him off. I went to the back lounge where I heard Ayden’s familiar laugh and found him with John. John knew immediately that I was livid. He stood up and I picked Ayden up and walked back through the bus. I walked straight past Derek and off the bus. I went to the side door of the venue and headed back to Mayday’s dressing room where I found Jake.

“Hey James, what’s wrong love?” he asked when I came in with a scowl still set on my face. I set Ayden down and he found one of his toys that had been left in here earlier and started playing with it.

“A certain someone is an idiot that’s what’s wrong… I can’t fu-freaking believe him,” I said angrily. Sometimes I hated being pissed off and having a kid. I couldn’t cuss in front of Ayden and I desperately wanted to.

“I know the song thing but what else happened? You seemed more upset than angry when you left,” Jake said.

“He called me while I was gone and asked where I was and if I was ok and I was like ‘oh so now you care about my feelings,’ and he was like ‘don’t pull that on me after what you asked today,’” I vented. “How dare he? After playing that song just because he knew it would make me feel like shit,” I vented.

“Pay up!” Ayden yelled and held out his hand. I sighed and fished a quarter out of my pocket. Jake, the dunce, had given Ayden the idea of bad word charge. Every time Ayden heard someone cuss he demanded a quarter. I dropped the quarter into Ayden’s outstretched hand and he went back to playing with his toy.

“I’m assuming you saw him on the bus…?”

“Yeah and he tried to apologize and I told him to save it,” I replied.

“You could cut him a little bit of slack, don’t you think?” Jake suggested carefully.

“I could, but I won’t. I just wanna be mad for a while,” I shrugged and it was true. For once I just wanted to be mad and feel like I had the right to be mad. “I guess I’m screwed tonight though,” I remembered. I had to share a bunk with that jerk.

“Not necessarily… If you’re still mad tonight then you can stay with me and the guys. We got two rooms tonight at that hotel down the street. Just give yourself a bit to cool off and after the show you can either stay here or come with us,” John said.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Positive, me and Kenny are rooming together so you can have the extra bed or you can share with one of us,” he shrugged and I nodded. Brooks came in a few minutes later saying that Derek and Jeremy were on their way to the dressing room and I took that as my cue to leave. John came with me and Ayden stayed with Jake and I kissed him before I left. I passed Derek but I didn’t look at him. I kept right on walking with John hot on my heels. I watched the show and I ignored all of Derek’s comments during their set… that was until they played Champagne’s For Celebrating.

“This next song is for a woman who always manages to take my breath away. She’s smart and funny and I love her. She’s mad at me right now and she has a right to be…” He met my eyes. His gaze was even and his voice was sure. “I’m sorry and I love you,” he said into the microphone and the crowd awed. He turned his attention back to them. “This song is called Just Say You’re Not Into It,” he announced and Jake tapped them off. I hadn’t heard Derek sing with so much emotion in a long time. I couldn’t even stay for the whole song. Ayden stayed with John inside but I couldn’t. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay with Derek tonight. I didn’t know if was upset or angry anymore, I didn’t know what I felt and I couldn’t be around him and not know what was going on in my own head. John came out a short while later with Kennedy, Pat, and Jared trailing him.

“Ayden is inside with Derek… I told him you were staying with us tonight,” John told me softly and I nodded. John knew me so well. He put his arm around my shoulder and we set off down the street. We got to the hotel quickly and I decided to share a bed with John, I didn’t want to sleep alone tonight. We lay in their room and watched TV for a little while and I felt my eyes starting to droop. I didn’t fight the sleepiness as it overtook me. I craved the peace sleep would bring. I hoped that when I woke up in the morning I would have a clear head.

{#!#}

Derek

Jamie left in the middle of the song, she was crying. When I came off stage John told me that she was going to stay the night with him and the guys at their hotel. I knew she needed time to think so I kept Ayden with me. He asked why Jamie wasn’t there when I tucked him into bed.

“Because Daddy messed up, kiddo. She’ll be back in the morning though ok? You and Mommy are going to see someone tomorrow,” I told him and he nodded thoughtfully. I kissed his forehead. I stood up and turned to leave.

“Daddy?”

“Hm?” I asked as I turned back towards my son.

“I love you, and Mommy does too. She told me so,” he said softly. I choked back tears.

“I love you too, kid,” I replied and pulled the door shut behind me. I lay down in our bunk. It felt cold, empty… like the apartment had when she left. I closed my eyes but sleep wouldn’t find me. I lay awake for most of the night thinking of Jamie, missing her. When Jake woke me up in the morning it felt like I had just fallen asleep. We had an interview and Adam had agreed to watch Ayden until Jamie got here.

{#!#}

Jamie

I walked back to the venue with John and the guys and we all went on the bus to find Adam in the floor playing with Ayden. I smiled. I liked Adam and he was always great with Ayden. He explained that Mayday had an interview and had to leave before I had gotten there. John told me that I was meeting Garrett at a Mexican restaurant down the street for lunch at one and it was eleven thirty. I changed clothes and fixed my hair and then got Ayden dressed and we started towards the restaurant. I didn’t know what to expect so I was beyond nervous. I didn’t think anything could’ve prepared me for this lunch. I suddenly wished Derek was walking by my side. I knew that even though I was still made at him he would make me feel better, more confident. He always did. I took a deep breath and checked the time. Five until one. I saw him standing outside the restaurant as we rounded the corner. He was dressed in a black and white plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and dark skinny jeans. He had his glasses on, that was different. He never used to wear them. He smiled a little when he saw us but as we got closer I could see the sadness in his eyes mixed in with what looked like determination.

“Hey Garrett,” I said softly.

“Hey…”

“Garrett!!” Ayden yelled and ran at him. Garrett smiled and picked him up and hugged him close.

“I missed you, little man,” he whispered.

“I missed you too,” Ayden replied with a grin and then he hugged Garrett around his neck again. Watching Garrett with Ayden like this took me back to a much less complicated time of my life. A time when I would do anything to see the man in front of me smile. But times have changed and I had another man on my mind. I wished he were here but at the time I was happy he wasn’t. I didn’t know what to think anymore all I knew was that I missed Derek. All I knew was that I wanted his arms around me at that moment more than anything…