This Still Belongs to You and Always Will

Gerard's P.O.V:

The faint sound of snuffles and the occasional sob floated down from the studio as I reached the ladder. Maybe I should give him some more time alone? But he was crying. And I wanted to be there for him. So I placed both hands on the rungs and clambered up. He wasn't in the main room where I'd expected to find him; he was in my art room, curled up on the bed with his face buried in his arms.

"Hey." I said softly.

He sniffed and jerked his head up to look at me. As he began wiping at his eyes furiously, I sat sensitively beside him and brushed his hands away from his face. Colourless tears rolled down his cheeks as he looked at me properly. I opened my arms and wrapped them around him securely when he fell into them. We slowly rocked back and forth while I rubbed at his back comfortingly.

"It's ok to cry," I soothed "You can't keep it all bottled up."

"But I should, Gee. I-I should. I don't even know why it's bothering me. It's not like it's anything to do with us...... but-but I looked at her and I saw that innocent child. His child growing in the same place th-that our child did. That evil man's child is growing in the same place..."

I nodded, kissing the top of his head. His snuffles vibrated against me while he buried his face into my chest. For once, he sounded vulnerable, soft and easily bruised. It takes a lot to make him cry tears of misery or despair. I've made him cry. There was a period where I was on some pills for my nerves and they zapped the life outta' me. Over the short period of three months I was on them, there was a stage where there wasn't one night without Frankie crying himself to sleep or crying down the phone to Mikey. But I didn't care at the time. And, believe me, I feel so guilty for it now.

"I understand," I soothed "And after what he did to you-"

"I can't ever forgive him," He whispered "And it's not just what he did to me. It's what he did to you and Elena too. And what he made you do that night-"

"I know."

“What’s this sugar?” He questioned, tracing his finger over it.

“A-a ring”

“I can see that” He replied impatiently.

“An engagement ring”

His eyes narrowed slightly while his brain ticked.

“Prove you love me” He demanded.

“W-what?”

“Prove to me that you love me” He ordered “Ask-ask me to marry you!”

His eyes shone with that hungry look again. Panic coursed through my system. I couldn’t ask him to marry me. What was wrong with him? I glanced back at Frank’s stony expression. He made the face that said he couldn’t care less but I could see right through him. He nodded to me. I swallowed hard and looked back at Bert. He raised his eyebrows expectantly. Elena whimpered, reminding me of why I had to do this. I slowly dropped down to one knee and looked up at Bert. His expression shone with hope.

“B-Bert” I began slowly “Will-will you marry me?”

Tears welled in his eyes whereas Frank let out a small whimper.

“Yes”

I returned to where I was, standing beside Bert, feeling him slip his arm around my waist. Frank had his knuckles stuffed into his mouth and his hazel orbs shined with tears. I understood that, even though we both knew I didn’t mean it, he’d been wounded deeply upon hearing me ask that question.

"But it was a long time ago now. Just like you're always telling me," I soothed "We've been through it all and come out smelling like roses, eh? We don't have to go through it again."

He inhaled slowly and exhaled steadily in attempt to help himself calm down. His hands were locked together securely around my waist to keep me from leaving him. It upsetting me to see him so upset. It's almost like we share our emotions. If one of us is miserable, it'll affect the other until he's miserable too. Or if one of us is hyped up and psyched about something, it's only a matter of moments before the other feels the same way.

"Why is it bothering me so much, Gee?" He questioned miserably "It's not like I thought it was my baby and then just found out it was his."

"It couldn't have been yours anyway," I teased gently "You've never gone that far with a girl in your life."

"True," He nodded, smiling weakly "I used to get myself a lot of gals back in my time, though."

"That you did." I continued, desperate to keep him off the subject of Elena's unborn half brother or sister downstairs with her mother.

"But something wasn't right, then I went through some bumpy relationships and then I found you again."

"And I'm so happy you did!" I replied fluffily.

He sniffed to himself, attempting to stop himself from crying again and failing again. I insisted that it was ok for him to be crying again, reminding him of what he told me:

Get it all out before it becomes something serious.

I could sense him smiling. He insisted that it wouldn't become serious.

"That's what I said," I teased "And look what happened."

"It won't happen to me."

"If you say so."

I smiled and kissed him lightly, running a hand through his hair. He kissed back without hesitation, his cheek still wet with tears. The tears tasted salty on my tongue as they dripped down between our lips, almost as if they didn’t want us to be kissing. But they were weak against us.